Grand Wedding

Last week end was hectic for my wife and I as we not only attended a grand Indian wedding but also helped the bride family by taking some responsibilities. It is an open secret in the US that Indian Weddings are the most attended and has become $6 billion industry. When I say a grand wedding, please don’t take it to the proportion of the wedding celebrated by JJ for her foster son two decades back. As most of you are aware, we were not blessed with a daughter and have only one son. We were very attached to the bride for several years to the extent that she started calling us as S Mom and S Dad. The bride’s father is a famous doctor in our hometown and her mother was very religious person and is a trustee for the local temple in our hometown. Both are extremely religious and their depth of knowledge in the scriptures is second to none. Their mother tongue is different but language is no barrier for us to shower love to each other’s family members.

Six months back, we came to know that the bride is in love with a North Indian (who looked really handsome in the photograph). Bride’s family is South Indian. Her mother told us that the wedding was to take place in May 2015 with a request to keep ourselves free for the last weekend. They have made several trips to India to do shopping and kept accumulating whatever they needed for this grand wedding. The bride and groom came to invite us two months back and the bridegroom was very handsome in person matching with the photograph we have seen earlier. The invitation was of the size of a box with separate cards for each event staked inside neatly with color schemes for each event with lotuses all around in each event card. They both took our blessings and requested our presence for the wedding when the mother of the bride requested our physical help for the wedding. The guests list included many common friends of us especially prominent doctors in our community.

Wedding was on Sunday but celebrations started from Friday. Friday they had a Mehandi, Kuladevatha Pooja and Samaradhana function at home with all their relatives and limited friends. Saturday morning they moved to a local huge event hall located inside a golf course and residential complex built in 900 acres. All the out of town guests were accommodated in the scenic guest houses located throughout the golf course. Saturday evening, roughly about 400 family and friends were invited for the event called Vara Pooja, Sangeet and Mehendi. The bridegroom was invited and a light music was organized for the evening by someone who worked with a famous Bollywood music director of yesteryears. Since most of the family members of the bride have migrated to the US long time back, there was a grand cousins’ dance event in the evening which attracted a lot of attention.

The next morning was the standard Indian Wedding celebration including the tying of the knot. The bridegroom was dressed in his traditional North Indian outfit while the bride walked the aisle with traditional south Indian styled dress. The guest invited far exceeded 500. Bride’s uncle brought her into the wedding ceremony. The priests were instructed not to miss any religious hymns as the mother of the bride is well-versed in Sanskrit. There were six photographers overall for the function besides a remote controlled camera near the roof hovering the hall to strategic positions and clicking pictures constantly. The whole function was recorded in many video cameras as well.

DJ started the reception event sharp at 8 p.m. with introduction of bridegroom’s sister, his parents, bride’s brother, her parents and finally the couple. They all entered the hall with their respective dance moves. Then each one of the family members of both bride and groom’s family were asked to speak. The wedding cake was cut and a Russian Ballet Dance was organized for roughly 20 minutes. Then, the guests were asked to systematically proceed to the buffet to grab their dinner. We didn’t stay until Midnight as most young people would have continued drinking and dancing in the dance floor.

Obviously, I can’t ask the parents how much they spent on the wedding but I estimate the cost should be at least $250,000, if not higher. Both bride and groom’s family were happy and the guests were very pleased with the hospitality. The bride and the groom started a new life together and hopefully, everyone present gave their countless blessings for the newly married. But the question remains in me regarding how much spending would be considered reasonable celebration with family and friends and what is considered as extravagant. I have attended Indian weddings of Gujratis, Kanadigas, Punjabis, Telugus and Tamils and in general I noticed that most weddings were celebrated in a grand scale. Who am I to judge what is reasonable spending? I look forward to the opinion of the members to educate myself.

My wife and I decided to share the cost of wedding of our son if he were to get married. We feel it is inappropriate to expect the bride’s family to spend all the money. The responses here would help me to plan how much I should provide for my son’s wedding besides traditional things a bridegroom’s family had to do for the bride.

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Grand Wedding