Funeral Fun

Funeral Fun

Whats App is damn good . look what i received as a attachment of someone advertising his deadly wares.Just read it with a straight face.

This is the Advertisement pamplet many households must have received in Bijnor,UP , as they are reading their newspapers and having a nice hot cup of tea. Jamaludin Swargwasi is the proprietier of this unique service, which offers so many facilities for the departed, rather for the families of the departed.

There are packages, Golden , silver, and iron, for 20,000, 15 and 10. The first one gives u 100 people to accompany the dead body to the crematorium/burial grounds, so that it looks impressive. This is like, a weddign where a barat is on the road, the more the musicians, and the people dancing, the more impressive is the wedding.

Same here, 100 guys by proxing, going in the hot sun, changing Ram Naam Sat Hai, poor guys have to be paid u see. Hence the charges.

The next package of 15000 has 50 people , and the iron package of 10,000 has just 4 guys, to hold the body, called the kandhis. The covering cloth, and other things are included in the package.

i guess this guy is copying me, i had written a blog sometime back, about learning how to die, wherein i too would provide services to the rich, about their condolences meet held in AC auditoriums, soft drinks, etc to be served, and a pre recorded video of the departed would be played where he would be welcoming all to his condolence, and thanking them for coming, and highlighing his own acheivements, and telling them, that this is the last time u guys are seeing me etc.

And he would announce that his close friends , who were his drinking buddies, he has left some amount for them, wherein on his brthday and death day, they meet in a restaurant and have dinner and drinks at his account, and raise him a toast.Wow, eh !

That is called Dying in style, and so that is what Jamalbhai is saying. He is also saying that if u buy a 100 coffin saman, u will get a lottery ticket from him, in which u can win a car also.

HAHA.

But the best is Micheal Pinto of mumbai the world famous undertakers whose interview i had taken a few years back. Danny pinto is the son now in charge, and he has done the bodies of Rajiv Gandhi and Mother Teressa personally alognwith his team. Just one another person had interviewed him, and that was guess who, Khuswant Singh, my idol, and i was the second.

He told me tales, of buring people, and when they go to pick up the bones after 18 months , the period when the lease expires of the grave, they see the body upside down, meaning the guy was alive when buried.A few such cases occured, and he says now many christians prefer to burn the dead, or the supposed dead, so that he does not come back alive, to clain back his property.

And he said of that body they brought from the hosptial morgue, with the death certificate, in the hearse. Suddenly in the middle of the traffic, the dead man got alive and sat and wondered what is he douing in the casket. Tehy took him back to the hospital, and got the death certificate torn, the doctor fainted who had certified him dead.

that grateful man lived many years, and eveyr week , would pop into pinto's sjop at Mahim, to say hello and thanks.

Well creative brains come out with money making schemes even in death eh ! Not bad, death is a funny business too.

Jamuluddin, may yr tribe live long. You made me smile.

HAHA

KAMAL MAHTANI

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