dimanche 31 mai 2015

On top of the earth was I....

On top of the earth was I….
Was in love with you and naïve….
You and I had a roller coaster ride…
Nothing mattered….other than you and I….
We sailed hard waters and through the tide….
Together we were to all a beautiful sight….
You were my hero, an armoured knight…..

On top of the earth was I….
Like birds we flew above high….
Passing clouds sheltered us in the sky….
Starry eyes and moonlit days were the nights…
Time flew by blink of an eye…
I felt loved, blessed and shy…
You were everything to me…high and dry….

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On top of the earth was I....

I leave it to you all for an apt tittle for this thread

Sometime back I had written that slowly I am getting non addicted to computer, laptop and dont use it much. But that I feel was only for a short time. Now again I have started using for more time since two days. Why not when I the site is so interesting and when I get good feedbacks and when we have so many good writers . Now a days I dont use the laptop much because I can access through my mobile , thanks to my daughter and son in law have gifted me with the latest mobile where there are so many things. Some I have learnt and some I am yet to learn. I use the laptop only when I have to post something. My son tells you dont worry about how much you are using as it is unlimited and use as much you want.

Reading the expert writers post I think I should not write but it is in my blood to write in present times. Thanks to Jey and Malathy for this wonderful site because of which I feel I have improved my English though I can only write simple English and convey what I wantto convey. I dont want rebirth but in case I am reborn I should become a great writer and if I am old enough to write then write in IL. In 1961 in Xth I scored 63%. I was very happy . In Hindi, English and History I got second class. My favourite subject was Maths and I took Optional Maths and in both I got 83 and 70.

My son is a great writer, in school days he used to write poems and stories. I even ordered some books from abroad about how to write stories. My daughter tells me mom you have given your brains to your son more. Actually he has more brain than me and more talented and has good grasping power. So he used to write in his own language in school . Till he was in primary he used to score A grade in all subjects. When he was in Xth my husband was worried wether he will get more than 80% because he never used to spend much time in studying but my son was sure he will get
more than 80% and he got 82%. I told him to learn CA as if he takes Engineering he has to study the whole year. He became a CA and also in his last year of CA he joined out office and learnt ERP. Now he is a Director of a Company running the Company with his friend and doing well.

I enjoy writing and also reading others threads and gain so much knowledge learning from the experts. Sometimes I feel I should ahve born in this age, then I would have enjoyed more and written well . When I go to Bagavatham they say you should always be thinking of God and do naam jap but I think though I think of God always I cant be without thinking of IL and facebook.

I wait for feedbacks and happy when I got more feedbacks. Wait of 25th of every month to nominate and get nice comment from Cheeniya Sir and Kamla. I think I should wait and not finish my nomination in the first week only but what to do when the ILItes writeexcellent post how can I wait . I feel so happy when my nominated post gets the award.

Tilll I am alive I cant be without visiting IL and Facebook and spend my time fruitfully. The warmth and love I get from everyone here makes me happy and to enjoy my life

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I leave it to you all for an apt tittle for this thread

My last post to Indusladies.

Some parents do the nastiest disservice to parenthood when they forcefully remind their sons about the ‘sacrifices’ they made for giving birth to him and raising him and in return, demand absolute obedience from him for life long. Absolute obedience means saying YES to every single thing they say and do; not having any one else in the focus of his life other than his parents and their favorite other kids, especially not his wife; at least keep mum and neutral if not actively participate and help the parents when they neglect, marginalize, alienate, abuse and insult his wife and her parents. Failing any one of these will make him a ‘bad son’ the idea of which our society as well as media profusely proliferate in the name of culture.

However, some parents are better as they, let the bad son go eventually with a regular dose of reminders of his badness. Some are not so kind. They, specially mothers, use all their might as mothers, put every single thing she possesses as a mother, to use be it the breast milk she fed 30 years back or the fear that mother’s curse so very powerful and continue to do so till the son breaks down and she can snatch her right of being mother, namely absolute right over him and everything that belongs to him.

My mil is such a mother. Those who have seen my earlier posts, know my family dynamics. I don’t want to repeat them here as that will make me re-live the hell once more.

Recently when my mil left my place for il place she declared she will not come back as she prefers to be alone and die alone than being ‘slave to an outsider’. When, after hearing that, the son didn’t offer to change anything, she cursed him openly and left. Within a month of going back, came a call from my fil at night that mil said she will go for the first train in the morning in nearby station for committing suicide. We frantically called them and all others around to make sure the attempt is thwarted. She made such a hint earlier once when we called her on her birthday and sent her multiple gifts by post. However, within a week of that came another call from fil saying mil is very very sick, is saying nothing but ‘son, son’ and refusing food and water. We flew there urgently and fil told we are responsible for her impending death and the entire extended family including my sil over phone castigated dh for his ‘inhumanity’ until dh completely broke down. A devastated dh told me to back off and let mother have her way. After all how long will she live. (she is 61).

So it was arranged. Next week we flew back with ils. By now mil had completely recovered. And she set her rules very clearly. She is NOT to be told anything by the ‘outsider girl’ at her ‘own’ home. And so is it since then. For a month now, the system in my home is just as it was in the beginning, except that now mil does not look in my direction and does not talk to me unless absolutely necessary and mentions me to my dh as ‘your wife’. Mil runs the house, the kitchen, my kids, her son and husband with absolute authority. Maid is given special instruction to listen ONLY to her, kids are being given extra incentive to LOVE their grandma more than any one else, her son is being showered by love and care and he looks rather relieved now, though he feels bad that he could not ensure good for his wife.

I have somehow, lost the ability to even feel anything. I feel so numb. M completely drained out and have no intention to fight this monster any more. My job allows for transfer to other cities. If necessary, I will leave the city and move to another with, if possible, one of my kids, though that will be my last option as I don’t want to be away from my four year old kids. I also feel bad for my dh who fought for me till he could. Thank you Indusladies, and all you fine ladies out there, for making me feel, even if for a short while that I too matter and I can fight any evil with my own righteousness. Couldn't have left without a final word with you here. Hence this post. But now, I give up, totally and will not take it up with any one anymore. I do not want to contest in this family game any more, so I bid goodbye to this forum with thanks again with this last post of mine. Stay blessed.

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My last post to Indusladies.

மரிக்கொழுந்து


-
ஆத்தோரம் போறவளே …
அத்த மக ரத்தினமே !…
மச்சானை பாரேண்டி…
மாந்தோப்பில் நானிருக்கேன் …
-

சேலை கட்டி நீ வந்தால் …
சிலிர்க்குதடி என் மனசு..!..
சேதி ஒன்னு வச்சிருக்கேன் …
சீக்கிரமே வந்திடடி…
-

மல்லி பூ கமகமக்க …
மரிக்கொழுந்தே நீ வரும் போது…
மத்தியான வேளையிலும் ….
மச்சான் மனம் குளிருதடி…
-

கண்ணுறங்கும் நேரத்திலும் …
கண்ணசர முடியலடி …
உண்ணும் வேளையிலும் …
உணவுண்ண தோணலியே …
-

மழைக்கு கூட ஒதுங்கலையே…
பள்ளிகூட வாசப்பக்கம். ..
கண்மணியே நீ இப்ப…
கவி பாட வச்சுட்டியே…
- பயமேதும் வேணாம்டி …
பண்பாட்டில் வளர்ந்தவன்டி…
உன்கூட வாழ்வேன்டி…
என் உசிரு உள்ளவரை…
-

***********************************

*குணசேகரன்…



மரிக்கொழுந்து

நல்லதையே கேட்போம்!



  1. உத்தமர்களின் வாய்ச்சொல், சத்திய மார்க்கத்தையே
    உரைக்கும்; அதன் வழி நடந்தால் நல்லதையே
    அடைவோம்.

    அரசர் ஒருவர், தேவேந்திரனை நோக்கி, பல காலம்
    தவம் இருந்தார். அவருடைய தவத்திற்கு இரங்கிய
    தேவேந்திரன், கற்பக மரத்தையே அரசருக்குக்
    கொடுத்து விட்டார்.

    கேட்டதை மட்டுமல்ல, நினைத்ததை எல்லாம்
    கொடுக்கக் கூடிய கற்பக மரம் கிடைத்ததும், தலை
    கால் புரியாமல் மனம் போனபடி வாழ்ந்தார் அரசர்.

    அரசரைப் பற்றி அறிந்த தத்தாத்திரேயர், ‘தவசீலரான
    இந்த அரசன் கற்பக விருட்சத்தை பெற்றதும்,
    கடைந்தேறும் வழியைப் பற்றி எண்ணாது, உலக
    இச்சைகளில் உழன்று கொண்டிருக்கிறானே…
    இவனுக்கு நல்லறிவு புகட்ட வேண்டும்…’ என
    நினைத்தார்.

    ஒரு நாள், அரண்மனைக்குள் நுழைந்த தத்தாத்திரேயர்,
    ‘விடு விடு’ வென்று நடந்து போய், அரசருக்கு மட்டுமே
    உரித்தான உயர் ரக இருக்கையில் அமர்ந்தார்.

    சேவகர்களால் அவரைத் தடுக்க முடியவில்லை.

    தகவல் அறிந்த அரசர் வேகமாக வந்து பார்த்தார்.
    ‘யார் நீ… என்ன தைரியம் இருந்தால், என் இருக்கையில்
    அமர்வாய்… போ வெளியே…’ என்றார்.

    ‘மன்னா… கோபப்படாதே… இந்தச் சத்திரத்தில், நீ தங்கி
    இருப்பதைப் போலத் தான், நானும் தங்கியிருக்கிறேன்.
    இதற்குப் போய் கோபப்படுகிறாயே…’ என்றார்.

    ‘இது ஒண்ணும் சத்திரமல்ல; என் அரண்மனை. போ
    வெளியே…’ என்று கோபத்துடன் கூறினார்.

    ‘ஆயிரக்கணக்கான ஆண்டுகளாக, இங்கு வசித்து
    வருகிறாயோ…’ என்றார் தத்தாத்திரேயர்.

    ‘இல்லை… நான் பிறந்தது முதல், இங்கு தான் வாழ்ந்து
    வருகிறேன்…’ என்று மன்னர் சொல்ல, ‘உனக்கு முன்
    இங்கு இருந்தது யார்?’ எனக் கேட்டார் தத்தாத்திரேயர்.

    மன்னர் பொறுமை இழந்து, ‘எனக்கு முன் என் தந்தை;
    அவருக்கு முன், என் தாத்தா; அதற்கு முன் என்
    கொள்ளுத் தாத்தா… இப்படிப் பல பேர் இங்கு தான்
    இருந்திருக்கின்றனர்…’ என்றார்.

    ‘ஆக, இங்கு யாருமே நிரந்தரமாகத் தங்கவில்லை.
    ஒருவர் வர, ஒருவர் போக என்று தான் இருந்துள்ளனர்.
    அப்படி என்றால், இது சத்திரம் தானே? இதைப் போய்
    அரண்மனை என்கிறாயே… அதுவும் உன் அரண்மனை
    என்கிறாய். இது எப்படி?” என, அமைதியாக கேட்டார்
    தத்தாத்ரேயர்.

    மன்னருக்கு, ‘சுருக்’கென்றது. தத்தாத்திரேயரின்
    திருவடிகளில் விழுந்து வணங்கி, உபதேசம் பெற்று
    உயர்ந்தார் அரசர்.

    நல்லதையே கேட்போம்; நமக்கது உதவும்!

    ———————————–
    பி.என்.பரசுராமன்
    —-

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நல்லதையே கேட்போம்!

திருமந்திரம்!



  1. -
    பதிபல ஆயது பண்டு இவ்வுலகம்
    விதிபல செய்து ஒன்னும் மெய்ம்மை உணரார்
    துதிபல தோத்திரம் சொல்ல வல்லாரும்
    மதியிலர் நெஞ்சினுள் வாடுகின்றாரே!

    -
    கருத்து:

    பழங்காலம் முதல் இவ்வுலகத்தில், ஒரே பரம்
    பொருள் பலவாறாகச் சொல்லப்படுகிறது.
    -
    அந்த இறைவனின் அருளை அடைவதற்காக,
    விதிமுறைப்படி சடங்குகளையும், விரதங்களையும்
    கடைபிடிப்பவர்கள், இறை உண்மையை உணர
    மாட்டாதவர்களாக இருக்கின்றனர்.
    -
    ஸ்தோத்திரங்களையும், துதிப்பாடல்களையும்
    சொல்லும் திறமை பெற்றவர்கள் கூட, இறை
    உண்மையை உணராது, கருத்தழிந்து மனவாட்டம்
    கொண்டவர்களாக இருக்கின்றனர்.
    -
    - பரம்பொருள் ஒன்றே, பல தெய்வங்களாக
    இருக்கிறது; அதை உணர வேண்டும் என்பது
    கருத்து.
    -
    ----------------------------

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திருமந்திரம்!

torture by husband on h4 visa

Hello, all lovely ladies here,

I need your advice, where I am broken emotionaly. I been married for 4 years and living in u.s.a. we had love marrige but my parents accepted because of love for me. His parents was ready since begining. I came u.s.a on h1b visa and he joined me for h4 visa.

Main problem in our relationship is that... he is too much stuburn person, he thinks he is mr.perfect.. shouts so loudly if anything get out of his control,...throw things and damage them and abuse me physically too. I am broken... I tried to maintain this relationship by focusing only positive things till now. His family think that he is so much innocent person and just high temper..

I don't know what to do.. he is reckless and don't want any responsibility. He got dog in my home against my wish, I tried to adjust and bear all trouble for longtime... took and tried for positivity... bUT now I am tired.. mentally, physically and financialy..

Please suggest me what I can do to give me good lesson As he took my innocent love for granted foe so long...

Thanks all.

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torture by husband on h4 visa

Funeral Fun and a wonderful Kavya

On reading Kamalji's 'Funeral Fun' I am reminded of as to how literature has been enriched by 'funeral fun'.Here is an interesting story.
We have an interesting story of how BhOja's Champu RamayaNam came
into being. And, here it is!
King Bhoja of Dharapur was a great friend of Kalidasa. The king also was a renouned scholar

One day the King was seized of a strange thought. If and when, in
due course, he died many poets would compose odes in his memory and that the one that would be composed by KaaLIdaasa would be
especially beautiful. And, because being dead, he wouldn't be alive to hear it, he requested KaaLidaasa to compose one
in advance and submit it. KaaLidaasa was hesitant because, if he did
so, the King was sure to die instantly as a result of a boon he had
received from Goddess KaaLi. And, he did not want to lose his bosom
friend. When he refused to compose one, the King banished him from
his kingdom.
KaaLidaasa went in exile and was a wandering minstrel begging for
his food.

The King soon realized his mistake in banishing his friend and could
not bear separation from his friend. The kings of yore used to go out
incognito and mix with common folk to know first hand what the
subjects thought about the state of the State. BhOja also disguised
himself and was roaming in the country side when he chanced to meet
with a Bikshu and started a conversation in poetic language.
The Bikshu answered him in the same language. Soon he recognized the
Bikshu as Kalidasa while the latter could not recognise the king.

During the conversation the bhikshu said that he hailed from Dharapur
and that he would like to meet the king.Now the king wanted to get
his earlier fulfilled.

The King broke the false news "How sad! The King died 6 days
ago" On hearing this, the Bikshu swooned and when he gained
consciousness immediately composed a slOka as follows:

adhya dhaaraa niraadhaaraa niraalambaa saraswatee/
paNDitaa: khanditaa: sarvE bhOja raajE divam gate//

"Today, the subjects of Dhaaraapuram have lost their support on the
death of the King. Saraswati, the Goddess of learning finds herself
bereft of art and the artists"

The moment he uttered these words, the life of the King who was in
disguise departed leaving his dead body in the hands of the Bikshu.
KaaLidaasa was shocked with grief and wondered as to why the King
should have invited his own death by acting in disguise and conveying
the false news of his own demise. He prayed to his IshTa dEvata,
KaaLi who appeared before him and asked him to repeat his Slokam with
slight alteration and said that the King would come back to life but
for a brief 3 3/4 naazhigai (about 1 ½ hours) only.
KaaLidaasa sang a slightly revised version:

adhya dhaaraa sadaadhaaraa sadaalambaa saraswatee /
paNDitaa: maNDitaa: sarvE bhOja raajE bhuvam gate//

"Today, the citizens of Dhaaraapur got back their good governing
King BhOja, and Saraswati's again became filled with great poets and
other artists who lived happily ever after"

The King came back to life as if waking from a slumber and the duo
became closer still. Time was short and they had to accomplish
something before the 1 ½ hours of life granted to the King.
Together, they decided to compose "RamayaNam" that we now know
as "BhOja Champu" after the name of the renowned King.
Bhoja Champu is renarration of Ramayana in semi prose and poetry.
Kishkinta kandam of the Champu is very famous for the narration of
prowess of Hanuman in poetic style.

Jayasala 42

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Funeral Fun and a wonderful Kavya

Black henna during pregnancy, which is good?



  1. Hi, I just wanted to know what black henna brand you use to dye your hair during pregnancy? I am ordering Henna Maiden Envious Black, which is a ready to use powder, just mix with water. I want my grey hairs to turn black but sometimes it doesn't always stick or dye it black completely so I wanted to know if there are better black henna dye brands? Thanks.
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Black henna during pregnancy, which is good?

“நானும் காதலிப்பேன்”


-
நானும் காதலிப்பேன்
காதலையும் காமத்தையும் பிரிக்க முடியுமானால்…
-

நானும் காதலிப்பேன்
கற்பனைகளும் கனவுகளும் தோன்றா விட்டால்…
-

நானும் காதலிப்பேன்
காலமும் கடல்அலையும் கரையாமல் இருந்தால்…
-

நானும் காதலிப்பேன்
கவலையும் கண்ணீரும் காணாமல் போனால்…
-

நானும் காதலிப்பேன்
கடலையும் கடற்கரையும் தீர்ந்து விட்டால்…
-

நானும் காதலிப்பேன்
கண்களும் மௌனமும் பேசாமல் இருந்தால்…
-

உண்மையைச் சொல்ல வேண்டுமானால்,
நானும் காதலிப்பேன்
என்னையும் காதலிக்க ஒரு “பெண்” கிடைக்குமானால்…
-

=
பழநிவேல்



“நானும் காதலிப்பேன்”

முத்தம்


-
காதலின் ஆன்மா
அன்பின் அடையாளம்
ரசனையின் மிகைப்பாடு
உணர்வின் வெளிப்பாடு
முத்தம்

உதடுகள் குவியும்
நரம்புகள் புடைக்கும்
இதயங்கள் இணையும்
கவலைகள் மறக்கும்
முத்தம்

சிந்தையில்
எச்சம் அமிர்தமாகும்.
முத்தம்
உதடுகள்
சந்திக்கும் வைபவம்.
முத்தம்

மழையில் குளித்தாலும்
தாகம் தீர்க்காத உப்பு நீர்.
முத்தம்

கொடுக்கையில் பரவசம்
பெறுகையில் பேரின்பம்
முத்தம்

தடுத்துப் பார்க்காதீர்
கொடுத்துப் பாருங்கள்
உலகம் உங்கள் கையில்.

=======================
=கோவை ராமநாதன்



முத்தம்

What do you mean by Gnana?

"A value is a value for me only when I see value of the value as valuable to me" says Swami Dayananda.We are not able to follow the values as truthfulness, no-harm etc because we have not recognised the worth of such values.
Chap 13 of Bhagavat Gita talks about'values' which are termed as "gnaanam'.But this Gnaanam is entirely different from the knowledge of the ',the means and the end of teaching Vedanta.

Krishna talks about this Gnanam as the collection of qualities of the mind without which'self-knowledge' is impossible.
For any knowledge to take place we need 3 factors:-
1.The knower
2.the object of knowledge
3.The means of knowlege.
Take for example the knowledge of a sound.If I am available,sound also occurs and if I don't hear ,there should be something wrong with my ears. If acoustical tests show that my hearing is perfect,it means my mind is not attentive.
Suppose somebody is teaching calculus. All the above factors including the mind is perfect.The teacher is competent.Even the you don't understand calculus. This means the mind though attentive is not prepared or ready to absorb calculus.This Samskara, a certain discipline in maths is needed to learn calculus.
This alone is not sufficient.The words of the teacher must be understood by the student in the same sense as the teacher has understood.General definitions re not sufficient as they tend to carry subjective interpretations..For words to convey the intended meaning they should be concise and precise.

Preparing the mind for vedanta is like conducting a marriage. There are so many preconditions. Horoscope matching, mind matching, status matching, looks matching, Girl viewing, mutual agreement, getting ready for wedding, making preliminary arrangements etc etc.then only mangalasutra can be tied and the marriage gets consummated.

Similarly ,though Gita talks of a simple word'gnanam' it implies preparation of the mind for vedanta to obtain gnanam of self.

That is why Krishna elaborates 20 types of invaluable values in Chap 13 of Gita.
Sometimes we ask" tying of mangala sutra takes hardly a minute. But the preparation ranges to months or even one year.
Yes, in the same analogy we have very many steps to make our mind in preparedness to receive'Atma gnana'.
For a spiritual aspirant, practices like yogasans, meditation and pranayama may quieten a restless mind, but may not prepare the mind for vedanta.Only discovery and assimilation of values themselves constitute preparation of mind. Other things are secondary.
Now we can understand why only a handful are successful in spiritual ascension.

Jayasala 42

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What do you mean by Gnana?

Daily schedule for healthy life style



  1. Hi Friends...I want to change my life style in healthy way...

    JUNE : weight loss 3 kgs

    Target : 25,000 cals

    water : 3 lts

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Daily schedule for healthy life style

Evening gown



  1. This is designed and made by me,Please share your opinion and valuable suggestion for improvement

    Evening gown-imag0704_1.jpg

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Evening gown

Need Nanny / Housekeeper in Sugarland / Stafford area



  1. Looking for a live out nanny / house keeper for 3 lovely well behaved children in the Meadows Place , Stafford area . Please text 832-244-7499
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Need Nanny / Housekeeper in Sugarland / Stafford area

how to get back baby's complexion?



  1. I hav one month old baby who was somewhat fair when born bug now getting darker. Can I use gram flour +greengram flour for my lo?
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how to get back baby's complexion?

Feltham- Baby sitter/ Granny needed and also Indian cook needed

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Feltham- Baby sitter/ Granny needed and also Indian cook needed

Mass Movie Review:

Masss Movie Review:

If you are someone who look for logic or Science in a movie, then this movie is definitely not the one for you.
Its not horror-comedy movie atall, its kinda comedy horror
Omg venkat prabhu, neega yeppadi ippadi yosika aarambichinga, never
expected such a googly.


After Rajni's lingaa, the leading south actors are following the smart robbery ka trend. There is nothing cool about it (my opinion). Infact, its bit annoying to see same trend screened again & again.

Well, about the storyline, first half flows with the same ritual of robbery and cheating business but the second half is definitely smashing & spellbinding.

Good thing:
1) Storyline though completely illogical but quite refreshed and entertaining too. Thumbsup for that.

2) Monster surya ~ Damn Cool, loved his character totally heroic.
3) Baby Megha (donno her real name) is really too cute in the tiny role that she played.
4) Prem Ji ~ OMG, such an unexpected surprise. He indeed played a fine role and mygod the comedy flow between premji and surya was incredibly too good. I never thought comedy without santanam too can make us laugh out loud.
5) The spellbinding twists and turns add on some wow moments.
6) Many Hahaha moments...


Bad thing:
1) Unnecessary usage of Nayanthara in the movie.She is like a weed, total waste.
The movie would have been equally cool without her. Just to attract Nayan's fans, I think, that's the only possible reason for her inclusion in the movie.
2) Music and songs ~ An absolute disappointment.


PS: Uh! Not a big fan of surya or venkat prabhu and definitely not a fan of nayanthara but indeed a cool movie worth watchable in the big screen...

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Lady driving instructor needed in Langley Slough

Hello Ladies,

I am new here in Langley UK straight from Reading :). Could anyone suggest a good car driving school with some details like how many classes it took overall to pass the test.
I found an instructor on yelp who is charging 20 £ /hour for 10 hour lessons and I would prefer a lady instructor . I used to drive in India but my skills would be rusty now.

Also I am looking out for a cooking lady so all suggestions welcome ! Thanks! :)

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Lady driving instructor needed in Langley Slough

Should I feel guilty for the rest of my life if we decide to have only one kid !!

hello ladies,

There was a time when i thought we cod have a second kid. But offlate i am just not able to manage my only child... No maid as i am a homemaker and we r trying to keep expenses at bay. Meanwhile can not depend that parents n inlaws wil come n help as they r not in grt health. can a single person (that is the mother) alone raise both the children by herself without depending on anyone (husband mostly on travel)... If yes please tell me how do to .. i am just so exhauseted... am kind of ok with one kid..husband is not very particular abt anything..choice is mine... but i feel guilty when i see other families with two kids. i am not a lazy person, i cook 3 home made meals everyday, spend time with dd, read stories etc house work etc..hardly watch tv ... can i do this for another kid without depending on husband,parents,inlaws, maid, nanny etc?

i dont know.. i am sometimes depressed thinking that after twenty years, i wil realise that i have been selfish n deined my dd her joy of bro/sis...

please tell me your experiences...

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Should I feel guilty for the rest of my life if we decide to have only one kid !!

காதலெனும் நூதனக் கொள்ளை

காதலெனும் நூதனக் கொள்ளை

ஈரம்காய்ந்த விழிகள்மூடி கனவுஒன்று காணவா
காயமான இளமையினைக் கவிதையாகப் பாடவா

மறவேன்நான் என்றமனம் மறந்ததைநான் கூறவா
இறப்பொன்றே பிரிக்குமென் றேமாந்ததைக் கூறவா

அழியாதது காதலென்று எண்ணியதென் அறிவீனம்
பழியோரிடம் பாவமோரிடம் என்நிலையோ பரிதாபம்

காதலென்னும் தீயில்பட்டு இனியும்நான் வாடுவனோ
நூதனக் கொள்ளைசெய்யும் நங்கையரை நாடுவனோ

வீயார்



காதலெனும் நூதனக் கொள்ளை

the portrait of a house



  1. The portrait of a house
    She was coming back to her ancestral home after a long time..
    The house stood silent and majestic nestled in the coconut grove.....it was a thatched two storied house which had housed 4 generations of her ancestors...a house which was once much loved and prided by all...but now it looked brooding and unwelcoming...abandoned as it was a long time ago....
    She drank in the sight of the house knowing that, after a few days the strangers who bought the house would demolish it bit by bit and rebuild it somewhere else...nothing would then remain except the memories and a few bricks they may leave behind...she had come here to collect those memories....
    She felt a deep sense of loss and wondered whether others of her family might come to have a last glimpse...but thought that it may be unlikely..they shunned this house...
    The once well tended yard was overgrown with weeds now...the long verandah with its redoxide floors which once shone was now strewn with leaves blown in by the wind...the whole house worn a look of neglect,..
    She sat on the balustrade and gazed sadly around...this house has come to this desolateness...this neglect..the abandonment and soon the final act of demolition...this house which was once so vibrant ...as alive as something living and breathing....the silencein the house was near total except for the rustle of the coconut leaves...
    There was no sound of children playing boistrously rushing in and out of the house ...no sound of grown ups admonishing them...no sound of laughter as the women gathered in the central courtyard after a long day of work...no sound of the men always in the middle of some endless arguement on politics....no sound of soothing lullabies ...no sound of laughter which always echoed from this house....no sound of constant bickering of the servants ....this was now a house shrouded in silence...a house of perpetual mourning...shunned by alll...holding painful memories......and she was to be blamed for the desolation of the well loved house...she , the prodigal one...the nonconformist..
    This house where she , and her mother ,and her grandmother before her ,had been born and raised....which was the very fibre of their existence....
    She walked along the verandah... the arm chair where her uncle used to sit and lord it over the labourers in the coconut grove now stood rusty and broken in a corner of the verandah..she ran her hands along it lovingly...she used to sit on his lap as a child and listen to him narrating stories of their glorious past...theirs was family to reckon with...a family of feudal lords of yore who still held onto familial pride and honour....he had told her and other children a countless times that was upto them to uphold the traditons of the family...
    She crossed the portal and entered the hall which was awesome and regal even in the present state of disrepair...the portartaits of her long dead ancestors looked down at her...their gazes steely and unforviving...accusation writ large across their faces...she bend her head in shame and guilt and begged a thousand pardons....
    She left the hall and wandered into the dining room where the family had conferred for most of the time...they used the hall for the most sober of occassions only..it was here that the women had held court and laughed and chatted and gossiped and argued....she sat on one of the chairs and longingly caressed the table ....
    She then closed her eyes and conjured up the images which were forever imprinter in her mind...which she furbished and refurbished a thousand times...these images were her only solace in her restless and moorless wanderings.. that of.her grandmother wise and old with her constant admonishings about how the house should be run ...her mother always harried ,always a little breathless , busy in the kitchen , managing the small army of servants but with the kindest eyes and the sweetest smile....her uncle awesome and authoritarian but with a mishchious twinkle in his eyes ...her aunts quick witted and chatty, as noissome as the mynahs in the courtyard...her father ,unwordly and ill at ease among his inlaws ,always reading his endless books but always besotted with his wife and daughters... from whom she might have inherited the artistic nature.....
    .Her family...her home....which she had once broken up mercilessly with her rash act....
    She went up the rickety stairs ..a sense of doom creeping up on her....
    The upstairs verandah was cold and unbidding ....she gazed at it for a long moment....it was here, that she used to have her painting lessons ...even as a child she was passionate about painting...her artistic talents were a surprise for her feudal farming family and a source of great joy to her father who was a professor and an author..he had realized that his daughter had it in her to be a great artist... it was he who had arranged a painting teacher for her much against the wishes of the rest of the family who considered art a waste of time...her father had argued that she was talented and that she would make it big..may that was his act of dissent in this house where he was always an outsider...
    Here in this room she used to have her lessons.....day after day in the hot summer of that last vacation...it was here, that she used to sit hours together spellbound as her teacher worked his magic on the canvas... gazing into his brooding eyes and falling hopelessly in love with him.....ignoring the fact that he was twenty years her senior and a ,married man...
    It was a sweet agony to be mesmerized by him...to be in the throes of that first love, which , even she knew was doomed...she could even now, recall the first accidental brush of their arms as he taught her the strokes...her skin burning at the first touch...him fixing her with his bottomless eyes and she falling and falling deeper into them till there was no escape...every moment without him was a torture...every moment of their togetherness a perfect bliss....and as this drama played out in the room upstairs ,all in the family was totally unaware of it...
    She now drifted back in time to those hot afternoons as they stood in front of the easel and he whispered undying love into her ears and she melting melting and melting ....Youth!!!!the folly of it...to be seventeen years old and to be in love...and she was always the restless one...the one craving for the world outside the rigid confines of her world...yes...it was inevitable....
    She sighed as she was pulled back to the present and was once again back in the musty room which held so many memories of love and pain...
    She wandered to the room which she had shared with her sister..her elder sister who was as different from her as if she was from another planet...her sister bookish and studious and unimaginative.
    She entered the bed room and sat on her bed which was bereft of any adornings...the room which was once girly and bright, now had the same desolateness as the rest of the house...it was here that on opposite cots she and her sister used to sleep...they were hardly separated by one metre of floor but the chasm could have as well been that of an ocean...they were so unlike each other...her sister could never understamd her or her desire to paint... .her yearning to wander beyond the confines of the house ....her restlessness...her dreams....
    It was her sister who had chanced upon the letter that her painter lover had written her...that letter which disclosed her plans to elope with him to Paris...that mecca of artists....and then all hell broke loose....
    She could recollect that afternoon when the door was forever shut in front of her painter and she was banished to the upper story of the house with no means of communicating with him....her schooling eneded abruptly and she was an outcast , a pariah...in her own house....
    Those last days that she had spent in this house was fraught with painful memories which even now seared her....she walked slowly into the last room along the verandah...the room her father had converted into a studio for her...and where she had spent her last few days in this house....
    She now stood in front of the closed door of the studio and summoned up the courage to enter...it was here that she had spend day after agonizing day painting endless canvases but not even finishing one in the last days of that hot summer....her anger making bizarre patterns on the canvas as her frenzy kept on building up....and as the day drew near, when she would have left for Paris, she was barely holding onto reason with a flimsy thread of sanity which was fraying fast....those last few days had long gaps of time which she could never fully recollect later..the grey areas of time when her thoughts seemed to be disrupted...what must she have been thinking ....those last few days of summer ,when days and nights merged into one gray pallor.....and heat was becoming unbearable...
    Now, in the stilness of the doomed house she stood scared and restless in front of that small room...summoning up the courage to open the door and enter......she had come here to find out what had happened in the last few days that she had lived in this house , and for that she must enter this room....this room which held her paintings and canvases....her hazy memory conjured up the image of her last painting which was that of this house, done in tortured and twisted lines ....this house where she had been a prisoner.
    That last afternoon of summer was very hazy in her mind...she strained to remember...she could now visualize her sister bringing her the news that her lover had left for Paris , with a gloating look on her face, and then the last thread of sanity snapping...
    She now pushed open the door to the studio and was once again blinded and scorched by the flames that engulfed her ....tearing life away from her , bit by excruciating bit...the scorching pain which seemed to build up into a tornado....the panic as life ebbed away from her.... the blind thrashing to hold onto something....the maddening desire to go back to life....the screams of her relatives merging with those of hers , as they tried to break open the door...that last sight , as the door opened and people rushed in....that last sight of her mothers face, her mouth open in a scream , which dissoled into the inky blackness of unconsciousnes..... her last thought that her mothers face might have been the first ever sight that she had seen too.....that last sight which was forever seared into her mind as she wandered eternally among the undead....
    She was now a shadow , drifting noiselessly with the wind ,always out of sight of the living....wanting to come back but knowing that she never can....dying a million deaths of pain and shame...watching her mother becoming old and brittle in a single day..drifting in and out of sanity...her father leaving home and never heard of again...her house ,branded as haunted and left abandoned .... her family , uprooted and scatterred in the wind..realizing that she was just a summer fling for her lover...a toymsoon to be discarded.....and she helpless......always out of sight of the living...waiting and waiting....and waiting.....
    Now she drifted back slowly ...carried with the wind ...her eyes painting a loving portrait of the house to be carried forever lovingly in her mind....
    .
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the portrait of a house

Indians in Al Raha Beach , Abu Dhabi



  1. Looking for Indian ladies living in Al raha beach ..Abu dhabi..am a housewife having a 14 month old daughter...
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Indians in Al Raha Beach , Abu Dhabi

extremely concerned about my parents.....



  1. Hi friends,
    My dad is 55+ and due to office politics, he quit his job in city A. After few months he did get a job in City B. My mum was very upset with this. However she wanted to support my dad and moved to city B.
    right from my young age, we have been travelling constantly, and at last we settled in city A. Our life was smooth for quite some time.
    i got married, had some issues and TTC for 3 years. In addition to this my parents had to move to a new city. All this really affecting my mum. I can see it clearly, even if they do not express it.
    I am a single child to my parents and i feel i am not able to help them in any way. they spent max on my marriage....now my dad does not have much for his retirement. and still clearing off few loans. I am concerned about my parents and their future.
    Few days back, they had gone to city A and my dad booked a wrong flight while coming back to city B.
    My mum got really frustrated, she called me and said she extremely unhappy in her life. She said she is tired of everything.. i did console her.
    Do not know what to do...
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extremely concerned about my parents.....

மேகி நூடுல்ஸ் விவகாரம்: நெஸ்ட்லே நிறுவனம



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மேகி நூடுல்ஸ் விவகாரம்: நெஸ்ட்லே நிறுவனம

Qualities in a Woman



  1. The five most important qualities in a woman: one who is independent and helps around the house, one who can make you laugh, one who you can trust, one who is good in bed, and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.
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Qualities in a Woman

மௌனம்

மௌனம்

இதயத்தில் எண்ணங்கள் அலைமோதினும்
இதழ்களில் மௌனங்கள் குடியேறின
எதுஞ்சொல்ல முடியாத சூழ்நிலைகளும்
அவள்விழியும் என்பேச்சைக் கைதாக்கின

நெஞ்சத்தின் வார்த்தைகளை கண்பேசின
நீர்த்திரையின் பின்னிருந்து அவைபேசின
மஞ்சள் நிலவிரவின் கனவுகளையே
மறுபடியும் அசைபோட்டு அவைபேசின

நீர்சிந்தும் விழிகண்டு வருத்தமில்லை
நீசிரிக்க அவையழுதால் ஒன்றுமில்லை
பார்வையின் மொழியேன் புரியவில்லை?
பாரிலெங்கு மதற்குவரி வடிவமில்லை

வீயார்



மௌனம்

Requesting a Help from any married women working in al wakra Doha, Qatar

Hi All

is there any married women from Bangalore or karnataka who is working in al Wakra to stay with me in a two bedroom flat? Just recently i have moved to Al Wakra in two bedroom flat and the owner said its only for the family, but my family will be arriving after Ramadan, may be in august end, i dont want to loose this flat, kindly let me know if there is anyone who will help me in this matter just to show that there is a family on that flat, hope you all understand my situation.

Awaiting for your reply.

Thanks

Irshu143

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Requesting a Help from any married women working in al wakra Doha, Qatar

samedi 30 mai 2015

Business from Home

Anybody interested in doing business from home can reply

You have to work with people who are interested to invest in share markets but dont know where to start;

you get a small batch of people to enroll for short term (One/two days) seminars / workshops in your town/city about the nuances of share market investing and co-ordinate organizing these workshops

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Business from Home

பெண்களும் புகையும்

ர்வதேச புகையிலை எதிர்ப்பு நாள் மே 31
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பெண்களும் புகையும்
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# ஆண்களுக்குப் போட்டியாகப் பெண்களும் அதிக அளவில் புகைபிடிக்கிறார்கள் என்கிறது உலகச் சுகாதார நிறுவனத்தின் சமீபத்திய ஆய்வு. உலகம் முழுவதும் புகைபிடிக்கும் பழக்கம் உள்ள 100 கோடிப் பேரில் 20 கோடிப் பேர் பெண்கள் என்கிறது ஓர் ஆய்வு.
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# பெண்கள் புகைபிடிப்பது சில நாடுகளில் வேகமாக அதிகரித்துவருகிறது. பல்வேறு காரணங்களுக்காகப் பதின்ம வயதுப் பெண்களும் புகைபிடிக்கிறார்கள்.
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# பெண்கள்தான் என்றில்லை, 12-15 வயது சிறுவர்களின் கையில்கூட இன்றைக்குச் சிகரெட்டைப் பார்க்க முடிகிறது. இதனால் புகையிலை சார்ந்த நோயாளிகளின் எண்ணிக்கையும் அதிகரிக்கிறது.
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பெண்களும் புகையும்

அம்மா வேடத்தில் நித்யா மேனன்-


-
ஜே கே எனும் நண்பனின் வாழ்க்கை’
படத்தில் நடித்த சர்வானந்த் – நித்யா மேனன்
ஜோடி மீண்டும் ‘நீ நான் நாம்’ என்ற படத்தில்
இணைந்து நடிக்கின்றனர்.
-

முன்னாள் தென்னிந்திய திரைப்பட வர்த்தக
மன்றத்தலைவர் சி.கல்யாண் தமிழ், தெலுங்கு என
இரண்டு மொழிகளில் தயாரிக்கும் படத்தில் 18 வயது
இளம்பெண்ணின் அம்மாவாக நடித்திருக்கிறார்
நித்யா மேனன்.
-

‘ஓ காதல் கண்மணி’ படத்தில் திருமணம் செய்து
கொள்ளாமலே ஆணும் பெண்ணும் சேர்ந்து வாழும்
பெண்ணாக நடித்த நித்யா மேனன் இந்தப் படத்தில்
அதற்கு நேர்மாறான வேடத்தில் நடித்திருக்கிறார்.
அதாவது, திருமண உறவின் புனிதத்தை உணர்ந்து,
திருமணத்தை வலியுறுத்துகிற பெண்ணாக நடிக்கிறார்
நித்யா மேனன்.
-
திருமணம் வேண்டாம் என்று
சொல்கிற தன்னுடைய 18 வயது மகளுக்குத் திருமணம்
என்பது எவ்வளவு அவசியமானது என்பதைத் தன்
வாழ்க்கையில் நடந்த சம்பவங்கள் வழியே
நித்யா மேனன் எடுத்துச் சொல்வதுபோல் திரைக்கதை
அமைக்கப்பட்டிருக்கிறது.


தமிழ் முரசு, சிங்கப்பூர்



அம்மா வேடத்தில் நித்யா மேனன்-

அம்மா வேடத்தில் நித்யா மேனன்


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குணச்சித்திரம், வில்லன் வேடம் உள்ளிட்ட பல
வேடங்களில் நடித்து வந்த தலைவாசல் விஜய்,
தற்போது சாய்பாபாவாக வேட மேற்று
‘அபூர்வ மகான்’ படத்தில் நடித்து வருகிறார்.
-

இப்படத்தை கே.ஆர்.மணிமுத்து இயக்கி வருகிறார்.
இப்படத்தில் இளம் நாயகனாக சாய் முரளியும்,
நாயகியாக ரஞ்சனியும் நடிக்கிறார்கள்.
-

மேலும் சுமன், பவர் ஸ்டார், சத்யபிரகாஷ்,
எம்.எஸ்.பாஸ்கர், டெல்லி கணேஷ் உள்ளிட்ட
பலர் நடித்து வருகிறார்கள்.
-

நீண்ட நாட்களுக்குப் பிறகு வினுச்சக்கரவர்த்தி
நடிக்கிறார். படத்தைப் பற்றி இயக்குநர் கூறும்போது,
“பாபாவின் அபூர்வ செயல்களைப் பற்றி நிறைய
பேர் நிறைய சம்பவங்களை சொல்வார்கள்.
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அவர் வாழ்க்கையையும், இன்றைய கால
கட்டத்தையும் இணைத்து கதை உருவாக்கப்
பட்டுள்ளது.
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படத்தைப் பார்க்கிற யாருமே உணர்ச்சிவசப்படாமல்
இருக்க முடியாது.

——————————-
தமிழ்முரசு – சிங்கப்பூர்



அம்மா வேடத்தில் நித்யா மேனன்

சீரடி மண் - வஞ்சிவிருத்தம்



  1. Default சீரடி மண் - வஞ்சிவிருத்தம்

    சீரடி மண் - வஞ்சிவிருத்தம்

    சீரடி மண் - வஞ்சிவிருத்தம்-baba.jpg

    வீயார்


  2. Default Re: சீரடி மண் - வஞ்சிவிருத்தம்

    CRV .. Mikka nandri.. Surprised to see a poem on Shirdi Saibaba. I am his ardent devotee and got goosebumps reading your poem.
    I am tagging @suryakala and @saisakthi..

    Bless you . !


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சீரடி மண் - வஞ்சிவிருத்தம்

Being shy and introvert

hi friends,
I used to talk with my close friends without any hesitation but it is very hard to mingle with new people.I used to talk with close friends and parents for many hours.I really wants to interact with new people and trying to reduce my shyness.But I am speechless and struggling infront of new friends.People started to ask me "why are you so silent?".After get together,i will be in a depressed state and afraid to talk with people.sometimes I dont know what to talk and how to start the conversation.I used to admire my friends those who are very talkative.When I was trying to improve my speaking skills,my friends told me that it should come by birth and we cant change our real character.Is that true?Pls help me friends...Does anyone change their character from being introvert to talkative?Is it possible?

very simple go stand in front of a mirror ... imagine a new name for your image each day and start a conversation ... each time different topic ... Each time a new name ... simple right ... once u r confident practice this with ur helpful friends who won't laugh ... and bingo you are ready ... all the best

with warm regards and best wishes
madhu



Being shy and introvert

Does home based laser hair removal systems really work?



  1. Hi,
    I see some laser hair removal systems which can be used at home like tria, silk flash n go and veet. Has any one used it? Do they work?
    I stay in India . Can i export and use them in India?
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Does home based laser hair removal systems really work?

white hair - i am at 30. is henna best?



  1. Hi,
    I am at 30 and started noticing that my hair is turning white. I see atleast 10-15 white hairs.
    y cousin advised me to go to parlor and keep henna once in 15days. It prevents further turning of black hair in to white.
    Please advice if henna prevents white hair from coming. I also don't want my hair to be red as i have nice black hair. Please advice.
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white hair - i am at 30. is henna best?

விளையாட விடுங்கள்!


-

-

-


--
பால் மணம்
மாறா வயதில்
பள்ளிக்கு
படை எடுக்கிறோம்!

சாட் பூட் த்ரீ
விளையாடும் நேரத்தில்
ஏக், தோ, தீனை
நெட்டுரு செய்கிறோம்!

மணல் வீடு கட்டி
விளையாட முடியவில்லை…
‘மவுஸ்’ பிடித்து
மனதை திசை திருப்புகிறோம்!

ஒளிந்து பிடித்து விளையாட
ஆசையாய் இருக்கிறது
உடனிருந்து விளையாட
தம்பி, தங்கை இல்லை
தனிமைச் சிறையில்
தத்தளிக்கிறோம்!

கல்லா, மண்ணா
விளையாட ஆசை தான்
டவுன்லோடு செய்வதற்கே
நேரம் போதவில்லையே!

பாரதி சொன்னதை போல்
மாலை முழுவதும் விளையாட
ஏங்குகிறோம்!
ஆனால்,
‘எக்ஸ்ட்ரா கரிகுலரில்’
எங்களை இழக்கிறோம்!

அடுத்த வீட்டு பிள்ளைகளை கூட
அறியவில்லை நாங்கள்
பூட்டிய வீட்டிற்குள்,
‘பத்திரமாக’ இருப்பதால்!

கண்ணை விற்று
சித்திரம் வாங்கச் சொல்கிறீர்
சிலந்தி வலையில்
மாட்டிக் கொண்ட
சிறு பூச்சிகளாய்
சிக்கித் தவிக்கிறோம்!

இரண்டரை வயது முதல்
இப்படி ஒரு ஓட்டம்
எங்களுக்கு தேவை தானா!

உங்களைப் போலவே
உரிய வயதில்
அனைத்தையும் கற்போம்
அதுவரையில்
எங்களைக் கொஞ்சம்
விளையாட விடுங்களேன்!

—————————–
— எஸ்.ஆர்.சாந்தி, மதுரை.
வாரமலர்



விளையாட விடுங்கள்!

அழகான பூ! அருகில் ஆபத்து! அது என்ன?



  1. 1) அழகான பூ! அருகில் ஆபத்து! அது என்ன?

    2) கால நேரம் காட்ட அண்ணன், தம்பி ஓட்டம்
    – அது என்ன?

    3) தாளத்தோடு, ராகத்தோடு, முடிவில்லாப் பயணம்
    – அது என்ன?

    4) ஓங்கி வளர்ந்தவள்! வாழ்வுக்கும் தேவை,
    சாவுக்கும் தேவை – அது என்ன?

    5) வெளிச்சத்துடன் வீதி வழி போவான்! அவன் யார்?

    6) கொட்டிக் கிடப்பவன், கோபுரமாவான்! அவன் யார்?

    7) வளைவு நெளிவு உள்ளவள் இருக்கிறாள் கடையிலே!
    அவள் யார்?

    8) உடைத்த பாத்திரத்தை ஒட்ட வைக்க முடியாது!
    அது என்ன?

    9) வலை பின்னுபவன், அந்த வலையில் சிக்க
    மாண்டான்! அவன் யார்?

    10)கொண்டையில் பூ வைத்தவன்! கூவித் திரிகிறான்
    -அவன் யார்?



    ————————————–
    விடை தெரிந்தவர் சொல்லுங்கள்
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அழகான பூ! அருகில் ஆபத்து! அது என்ன?

தாய் - வஞ்சி விருத்தம்

தாய் - வஞ்சி விருத்தம்

உலகினில் நீயெதை மறந்தாலும்
உனைப் பெற்றவளை மறவாதிரு
அளவிடற் கரியது அவள்கடனே
அந்தக் கடனை நீமறவாதிரு

(உலகினில் நீயெதை மறந்தாலும்)

கருவினில் நம்மை சுமந்தாளே
கண்ணுறக்கம் தனை மறந்தாளே
பெருந்தியாகம் அதனை நினையாமல்
இந்தப் பிறவியெடுத்தது வீணாகும்

(உலகினில் நீயெதை மறந்தாலும்)

எல்லையிலாத அன்பு தந்தாள்
நல்லது தீயதின் அறிவுதந்தாள்
கல்கனி யாகும் கருணையினைச்
சொல்லில் வடித்திட முடியாதடா

(உலகினில் நீயெதை மறந்தாலும்)

தன்னை வருத்தி நமைக்காத்தாள்
நம்முகம் பார்த்து நகைப்பூத்தாள்
அன்னையின் அன்பில் திளைத்திடவே
ஆயர் பாடியில் அவனும்வந்தான்

(உலகினில் நீயெதை மறந்தாலும்)

வீயார்



தாய் - வஞ்சி விருத்தம்

One Last time

I don't have time to kill
You fill my thoughts still
Days are filled with responsibilities
yet you creep into my actions
creating hurdles
Neither it's the age to be tempted
Nor is the time to be distracted
I was as cool as a cucumber
and as Serene as a flowing river
Oh!! my new found love for
the pen of expression
has blown it all....

For one last time
It was our last day of vacation. I got up early and wanted to catch the sunrise for one last time. From next day forget the sunrise I will not even have time to enjoy my morning coffee. So went to the seashore. As I was waiting for sunrise, I could see the skies slowly turning bright from dark grey and then a small crimson red inverted crescent appeared breaking the clouds near the horizon and it slowly started rising. In 6 minutes full sunrise had happened leaving the crimson red beauty shining gloriously on the water front. I enjoyed the sunrise as much as I could holding the joy in my heart, for one last time.

I started walking on the shore by myself, letting the waves touch my feet; walked towards the lush green golf course and happily sat on a hammock for one last time. Then hurried back to get ready to leave. I decided to check gift shop, got a picture with my kids for one last time. On my way to the airport, enjoyed the ride traveling along side the blue waters. As I settled myself in the plane, I could enjoy my solitude again for one last time. My mind started singing 'Naan pogiren mele mele boologame kaalin kizhe' meaning I am flying up high and earth is slipping beneath my feet as the plane took off seeing the beautiful blue ocean for one last time.

I started thinking about 'one last time' opportunity. From the moment, I woke that day until the moment I left the Island, I was living in the moment. How I wish I lived life everyday thinking it was one last chance I had. Will I not spend every minute in joy and also try to keep people around me happy? Will I try to get things done the same day without postponing it out of laziness? Will I be running last minute errands that I have missed out all these years. At least for once will I not close my eyes,sit and listen to a beautiful song? And as I was sinking in these thoughts flight experienced a very bad turbulence for more than 15 minutes and I was even wondering was it really 'One last time'? Luckily no. Settled among the clouds the crimson red beauty filled the sky in the west. Nature bestowed me with an opportunity to see the sunset from mid-air for one last time.

Finally, nature taught me living in the moment is all that matters. But can I do that everyday is still a question unanswered.

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One Last time

Is he ready?

I didn’t realize that I would get an opportunity to spend so much time with my son during this summer. During the spring semester, he didn’t show up at our hometown nearly for 3 months. We were concerned not because he was not showing up but because how much more effort he had to put in to finish his Ph.D. As soon as the spring semester is over, he came home the next weekend and categorically declared that he would be spending weekends during the entire summer with us surprising us completely. It is fulfilling to see Orion jumping all over him whenever he arrives no matter what time of the day or night it is.

My son normally takes a lot of time to brief me on his academic accomplishments and financial matters whereas the rest of the subjects are reserved for discussion with my wife. The very first week, when I went for a walk with him, he told me a lot about his academic accomplishments and how well he was doing. In addition, he printed his report cards for the last two semesters and I was very proud to see his academic performance. He articulated so well about the papers authored by him that were published in various international journals. My wife spent a lot of time with him to catch up on her own topics including his health, food habits, etc. and we exchanged notes with each other.

In our house, he almost has a separate house for himself as there is a door that separates us totally from his bed room, reading room and bathroom. He used to shut the door most of the time when he was growing up and we have to knock the door to gain entry. To our surprise, other than leaving his bags inside his room and using his bathroom, he pretty much spent the rest of the time with my wife, my mother-in-law, myself and Orion. He even did not sleep in his room and instead chose to sleep in the guest room. We were under the impression that we would lose him more as he grows up but on the contrary, he is getting closer to us.

He bought a lot of plants, pots and other accessories required to plant them in our yard and spend a lot of time with me and my wife planting them. He explained systematically, how to make the plants grow straight and how many times to water them in a week. He was visiting every room in the house and was troubleshooting whatever was not working fine. Instead of spending time on his own, he enjoyed fixing things at home and interacting with all of us. He walked Orion almost regularly during his stay and took care of him very well over all the weekends. There was a new neighbor who bought the house right next to us and they moved from California recently. He visited them and my neighbor showed all the renovation he had carried out in the house. He got introduced to our neighbor’s entire family right from adults and children. He came back and informed us that our neighbors have two dogs and a pig as pets. He also instructed me to handover banana fruits in our yard to the little girl next door as she is very fond of organic fruits.

He called me last week to request me to fix an appointment for servicing his car. Last night he showed up and immediately declared to his mother that he was going to cook dinner for all of us today. As he was planning to prepare Thai curry, he shopped systematically for all the ingredients and prepared a delicious dinner for all of us. Thai food was delicious not because it was prepared differently than how it is prepared by wife in general, but because of how much love he has used as ingredient. My wife was in seventh heaven since last night and I don’t blame her. Even though I control my emotions a lot, I myself feel very happy inside.

Instead of us calling him every time, the calls are initiated both ways now. Most importantly, whenever my wife picks up the phone when he calls, he inquires a lot about me and whenever I pick up the phone, he asks, “how is mom doing?” The confidence he has in himself makes me believe that he would successfully submit his dissertation in the next 2 to 2.5 years. Most importantly, his bonding with us gives me a good feeling about him having a nice family of his own once he finishes his studies and gain an employment. We hope our dreams come true.

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Is he ready?

Grand Wedding

Last week end was hectic for my wife and I as we not only attended a grand Indian wedding but also helped the bride family by taking some responsibilities. It is an open secret in the US that Indian Weddings are the most attended and has become $6 billion industry. When I say a grand wedding, please don’t take it to the proportion of the wedding celebrated by JJ for her foster son two decades back. As most of you are aware, we were not blessed with a daughter and have only one son. We were very attached to the bride for several years to the extent that she started calling us as S Mom and S Dad. The bride’s father is a famous doctor in our hometown and her mother was very religious person and is a trustee for the local temple in our hometown. Both are extremely religious and their depth of knowledge in the scriptures is second to none. Their mother tongue is different but language is no barrier for us to shower love to each other’s family members.

Six months back, we came to know that the bride is in love with a North Indian (who looked really handsome in the photograph). Bride’s family is South Indian. Her mother told us that the wedding was to take place in May 2015 with a request to keep ourselves free for the last weekend. They have made several trips to India to do shopping and kept accumulating whatever they needed for this grand wedding. The bride and groom came to invite us two months back and the bridegroom was very handsome in person matching with the photograph we have seen earlier. The invitation was of the size of a box with separate cards for each event staked inside neatly with color schemes for each event with lotuses all around in each event card. They both took our blessings and requested our presence for the wedding when the mother of the bride requested our physical help for the wedding. The guests list included many common friends of us especially prominent doctors in our community.

Wedding was on Sunday but celebrations started from Friday. Friday they had a Mehandi, Kuladevatha Pooja and Samaradhana function at home with all their relatives and limited friends. Saturday morning they moved to a local huge event hall located inside a golf course and residential complex built in 900 acres. All the out of town guests were accommodated in the scenic guest houses located throughout the golf course. Saturday evening, roughly about 400 family and friends were invited for the event called Vara Pooja, Sangeet and Mehendi. The bridegroom was invited and a light music was organized for the evening by someone who worked with a famous Bollywood music director of yesteryears. Since most of the family members of the bride have migrated to the US long time back, there was a grand cousins’ dance event in the evening which attracted a lot of attention.

The next morning was the standard Indian Wedding celebration including the tying of the knot. The bridegroom was dressed in his traditional North Indian outfit while the bride walked the aisle with traditional south Indian styled dress. The guest invited far exceeded 500. Bride’s uncle brought her into the wedding ceremony. The priests were instructed not to miss any religious hymns as the mother of the bride is well-versed in Sanskrit. There were six photographers overall for the function besides a remote controlled camera near the roof hovering the hall to strategic positions and clicking pictures constantly. The whole function was recorded in many video cameras as well.

DJ started the reception event sharp at 8 p.m. with introduction of bridegroom’s sister, his parents, bride’s brother, her parents and finally the couple. They all entered the hall with their respective dance moves. Then each one of the family members of both bride and groom’s family were asked to speak. The wedding cake was cut and a Russian Ballet Dance was organized for roughly 20 minutes. Then, the guests were asked to systematically proceed to the buffet to grab their dinner. We didn’t stay until Midnight as most young people would have continued drinking and dancing in the dance floor.

Obviously, I can’t ask the parents how much they spent on the wedding but I estimate the cost should be at least $250,000, if not higher. Both bride and groom’s family were happy and the guests were very pleased with the hospitality. The bride and the groom started a new life together and hopefully, everyone present gave their countless blessings for the newly married. But the question remains in me regarding how much spending would be considered reasonable celebration with family and friends and what is considered as extravagant. I have attended Indian weddings of Gujratis, Kanadigas, Punjabis, Telugus and Tamils and in general I noticed that most weddings were celebrated in a grand scale. Who am I to judge what is reasonable spending? I look forward to the opinion of the members to educate myself.

My wife and I decided to share the cost of wedding of our son if he were to get married. We feel it is inappropriate to expect the bride’s family to spend all the money. The responses here would help me to plan how much I should provide for my son’s wedding besides traditional things a bridegroom’s family had to do for the bride.

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Grand Wedding

Modern women/wives

Recently I have been thinking.
Has modern lifestyle made us women become more materialistic and less caring? Is this what our previous generations fought for? How does that differentiate us as a being from the men who disregarded women in the past?

Women looking only at paycheck and wealth before marriage. Why are we not consider if the guy is good and his behaviour?
Women are smoking but how does that help us? All it shows is we are becoming increasingly as stupid as men who don't look after health.
My mother used to make delicious homefood and handfeed me till I was almost teenager. How many women are doing now? Everyone is only after processed food old.
Fighting amongst ourselves. I agree that a woman's worst enemy is another woman. Why can't we get along with each other and create a good and strong family? Why don't we treat our daughters better? What do we hesitate to educate our daughters better to protect them from prying men?
Rising extramarital affairs by married women. What happened to the mothers devotion to the family? What happens to these kids?
Increased prostitution, even college kids involved. What is happening to our values? What do we tell our parents?

What exactly does it mean to be woman now? Will our kids give us the same value as we have given to our caring mothers?

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Modern women/wives

Custom profile pic and signature

Hi,

I am trying add custom profile pic and a signature. Can you please help me?

Profile pic.
I saw one post about it.When I click the link on that post,It is telling me my account is not activated. I don't know why I am getting such an error? I wonder how many times should I activate my account.

Signature.
When I tried, it is telling me I do not have permission to do it. Is there any post criteria or something which is needed to create signature?

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Custom profile pic and signature

Travel with my 21 month old during july-august.. plz give your inputs.

Hi all,
I will be travelling to India with my 21 month old during July last week. I read all the wonderful posts on tips for travelling with toddlers/babies.. thank you for the great tips!

I have a question.

I am planning to take my daughter as a seat child. But the fare for seat child is almost as good as the adult fare.
I was wondering if I can save some money by not booking a seat for her and waiting for my luck about finding an extra unoccupied seat in the flight.
wanted to know the traffic from the USA to India during July-august.

Or do you suggest i pay the extra money and book a seat for her?

Most probably, I will be travelling by etihad airways from Chicago. Plz give your inputs.
Thanks!

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Travel with my 21 month old during july-august.. plz give your inputs.