Black or White?

"I so hate people who tell lies" said a young friend, echoing my feelings over the years.

"Such a b***** hypocrite. She says something and does just what she claims to hate" is another that I have often thought.

Years of trying to understand a variety of people - people who tell lies, people who profess to be or believe in what they are not or don't really practice.

"Are you a hundred percent honest?" a dear one once asked me. What if you were in a situation where you speak the truth which will hurt someone else? Or if someone (let's say an elderly relative) tries to pry too much into your personal matters where it really does not concern them? You cannot tell them to mind their own business. Telling them the truth will really cause infinite headache to you and telling them a "white lie" will really not hurt them. Which option would you choose?" this wise one quizzed me. That really shook me and forced me to think more on the issue. I could not tell myself a lie! (No, my name is not George Washington and i won't claim to share any ancestry with him). Well, maybe I 'could' if I chose to, but no, I didn't want to.

"Truth alone prevails" is the motto of our motherland. I can't forget being made to parrot this line for my exams. I can't forget being told stories of Rama, Gandhiji and their honesty and commitment to the given word. It was deeply ingrained. I try hard to live by it. It hurts, however, when one sees just a lot of untruth around one all the time.

We have "white lies." Which of us has not succumbed to it? "What were you two gossiping about?" A question, the answer to which I do not necessarily want to share with the person asking the question. I see no reason to. What do I say? The person asking is a loved one but I value my privacy and the privacy of the person entrusting me with a confidence. "Oh, nothing, we were discussing this movie, we were talking about the weather, work ......" I reply. Have I not told a lie? Is it a despicable lie? No, at least not in my opinion. There are times I have replied "She told me something in confidence which I am not at liberty to share." It really depends on the time, the mood of the person I am talking to.

There are chronic liars who lie through their teeth about things that don't matter. Lies for the purpose of self-aggrandizement. They just want to appear greater and better than they really are in the eyes of others. Not that others care. Just for ego kicks. This is typical of the kind of boasting one associates with little kids who like to show off or even some adults. Am sure a lot of us would have heard those elderly gentlemen bragging about their achievements on the battlefield or at work! These lies can be fascinating as well as amusing. Who cares? Let them please themselves.

Lies told in situations to save one's own skin, no matter what the consequences to others or the kind of lie which prevents corrective action which can benefit many ..... now that is the kind of lie that is extremely worrisome. I have often wondered how they manage to tell a lie of such magnitude with a straight face. Do they reiterate the lie so strongly to themselves in their own minds that they face no difficulty in telling a straight faced lie that anyone would believe it? To the extent that they genuinely believe it themselves?

There are lies told for apparently no reason. One wonders why! What does the liar get out of it? It does not seem to hurt anybody nor help the liar in particular.

Coming to hypocrisy, why do some people say one thing but when you examine their lives, they are guilty of the same "crimes/evils" that they decry? Probably they don't even realize it. They are so carried away by the 'principle' of it all, but then find it difficult to practice it themselves. Looking into a mirror and examining their own actions is probably not a habit.

So why hate liars or hypocrites? I would not even say 'hate' but rather 'learn to recognize' the lie, feel sorry for the liar. Same goes for the hypocrite. Just be careful around them. You don't want to hurt yourself taking them at face value (if you can help it), believing what they project themselves to be. After all there is nothing totally black or white in this world.

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Black or White?