The Man of the Year without doubt is Rahul Gandhi. His tireless hard work enabled BJP to get an absolute majority on its own in parliament. Rahul also gets the Mark Antony award for oration this year, If you remember this is the second time in succession that he has been conferred the award.
Last time, his great oration motivated people to stay indoors watching TV instead of attending his meetings and gave the Aam Aadmi Party its one and half months of fame in power. This year his oration has been powerful enough to help his Congress Party make history. . It achieved a new record of being in double digit figure in the Lok Sabha.—from triple digit in the previous house.
The woman of the year is not Rahul’s Mama dearest ( Sorry to disappoint you Rahul Baba) but Didi Mamata Bannerjee for the sheer guts with which she held her crumbling fort despite her close buddies getting arrested in the Saradha scam and one of them even ratting on her. Will somebody give her a bravery award..
After that comes the award for women’s safety. It goes to the superbly named Baba Ram Rahim Insaan of Dera Sacha Sauda, if charges against him are true that is. The Baba is accused of getting 400 men castrated assuring them that this would help them reach God super quick. Now you may wonder how this helps women’s safety. Elementary my dear reader , this has reduced the number of potential rapists. As the famous Hindi adage goes “Na rahega Baans na bajegi bansuri . For the Hindi challenged it means If there is no bamboo, flute cannot be played. (If you get naughty ideas about bamboo and playing flute, I am not responsible.) .
The baba is also gets the award for the rock star of the year for his number “I am the love charger baba” which he performed in fancy (read weird) costume for a film on his life.
The Best Friend of the Year title goes to …. Any guesses? To the Sangh Parivar!!!!!!!! The Vishwa Hindu Parishad and Bajrang Dal share the award. They are friends of Modi. Two-in-one friends . Who needs enemies with friends like these ? They have tightened the friendship band around Narendra Modi’s neck instead of tying it on his wrist.. as a result the poor chap is even unable to speak on the forcible religious conversion issue.
The India Cements Adhesive Cement Award of course goes to India Cements Boss N..Srinivasan, who has successfully managed to keep the chair of Board For Control of Cricket in India (BCCI) Boss’s chair attached to his ample rear despite Supreme Court’s frowns and disapproving noises
And the Stentor award…. Before you ask Stentor who? Let me clarify that guy was a Greek or Trojan who could make a wall collapse with a shout. Nowadays of course we have walls of sand adulterated with a wee bit of cement that can come tumbling down like a house of cards any time.
Well the Stentor Award for the year goes to Arnab Goswami whose stentorian voice remains unmatched. .He is so madly in love with his voice, that he doesn’t like to hear anybody else speaking. With his stentorian voice he outshouts everybody even if they utter a single word. His show News Tonight is supposed to be a debate but he happens to be the only real speaker while others are there just to raise some din.
A guy like Arnab can’t get away with a single award. He also gets the Strepsils Ratna award for encouraging people to strain their throats so much to create the cacaphonic effect in his show that lozenges must sell like hot cakes.
Do I hear someone asking me why not Cacafonix award for Arnab. Sorry that award is only for singers. I will keep that award for myself. You see my musical outpourings have been completely banned by my family. Even when I make some timid attempts at displaying my singing talent while having my bath, there wiould be loud banging on the bathroom door. “Don’t sing. The dogs are howling in terror” my wife or daughter would say.
I would like to the canines have better taste in music than my family members. They are just joining me in my concert.
Awards 2014
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