I have changed a lot!

Hi ladies,

Yesterday i was discussing with my husband about my relationship with my inlaws. My husband said that i always think about negetive side. I always think about what wrong my in laws did with me but never remember what good things they did for me. As somehow i have made my space in in laws family and now there mouth are shut, still i m not able to forget my past experience with them.

Before my marriage i was working women. I never bothred about what is happening in my relatives life or friends life. I never hurt anybody and never get hurt by anybody coz neigther i interfere others life, nor i expected anything from them. I fought for wrong think, fought for men and women discrimination and so many things. Not only for myself but for others too. I always stand for them who were weak n can't stand for themself and i never bothered about what other people will say about me.

My family never stoped me for anything. They always supported me for anything i did coz they knew that i know my limit. I was living my bold life then.

Now i wonder how a marriage change people. Marriage totally changed my personality, my thinking, my behaviour, an entire me. In my marriage life there are total four phase where i found changed in my behaviou

r.

First phase

In my first phase i was silent and sweet. I accepted my in laws as my own family. My marriage is love marraige and husband coveinced me that his family is so good and if i behave good to them they will love me like a daughter and sister. I obeyed every thing whatever my in laws ordred me right or wrong(which is totally opposite of my personality). MIL & SIL domineted mr(this was also not me). I was tortured during my pregnancy and did many thing which i hated doing that. List is never ending but i toloreted all those thing which i can't believe i did those days. I feel how stupid of me and how did i brought those streangth to tolorate and not fought back.

Second phase

Second phase was that when i feel like now this it. Now i m no gonna tolorate anything coz it was affecting my marriage life and health. There was huge fight 2 3 times with my inlaws(MIL & SIL) and my husband also supported me for that. I m proud of him for what he did. Its not easy for everyone. This time i showed them 50% of my real face coz it is so difficault to be which we r not. Its like stopping strom inside us. If we don,t let it come outside it will definately effect us, very badly.

Third phase

In my third phase i started searching in internet about in laws. How they behave, what r their point of view, how other DIL are doing etc. As i didn't have any friend in this country internet became my friend. Specially indusladies where i share my question and quiries. In this phase i learned how to handle them. How to make my husband understand me more. Not to expect from inlaws etc. Which was very hard to serve them, take care of them and expecting nothing from them. However i tried to do that for shake of my family's happiness.

Fourth phase

This phase is my recent phase. 24/7 i m thinking about my past. i have became very negative personality.I am always thinking about how to take revenge from them. How to make them realise what they did to me. Exposing them. Only these things are running in my head. I am not able to do friendship coz i,ve started seeing only negative part of other individuals. I,ve started beliveing that nobody loves me and care for me except my husband, daughter, my parents and my siblings. I feel that nobody is good around me and if they do someting good to me and my family, i start thinking of his/her motive behind being kind to us.

This phase is being more difficult for me bacause of my in laws behaviour now i m thinking about whole world like them. Even about my meternal relatives i have started thinking same.

Do u guys also feel the same about the whole world? How to feel positive? It it very difficult to live this way. I feel lonely and left away.

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I have changed a lot!