Very tricky situation..how to deal with it

Me and my husband live in US(no kids yet). My in-laws stay in bangalore. My sil is having kid of 13 years. She is having problems in her marital life. She has been living with her parents for almost 10 years now. They have been contemplating divorce for some time.

I being a divorcee myself(this is my 2nd marriage), completely understand my sil situation. I am in full support for her remarriage, whenever we talk I make sure I pump enough courage to her.

My fil is a very nice person. But sadly he has blind love for her daughter(understandable; even my father was possessive during my divorcee days.) These days whenever we go to India, he keeps giving me instances of how the son should take care of the sister and that the sister should get full respect in the household if she had problems in her husband's place and that she has returned. By mistake, I asked them once why she is not coming to US and working here as she can be more independent( She was a green card holder at one point; now working in IT field in bangalore). Tats it, now they are planning to make her move from bangalore to our place and my husband will be the father figure for the kid!!

They are trying to get her H1b visa sponsored, looking for jobs in the state where I stay. I am completely freaking out, I wish the happiness for her, but not at my expense. I CANT look after her kid for rest of our lives. My FIL has started saying that "looks like my last year's will be in USA". I mean, they are all planning to come and stay here with me :( I did not sign up for this.

My husband feels very delicate about this situation and is torn between his father and me. He feels it his responsibility to look after the sister. I do not know how to convince him. If I say too much negative, he might flip out if I have to help my parents in the future.

Now the FIL, MIL and the kid is coming to stay to with us for 2 months in July. We recently bought a house here. Seeing big house, empty rooms, good schooling area, I think their decision to move to our place will become stronger and stronger. The kid loves my husband. My husband feels really bad for the kid. He has been without a father for a long time. So we are planning to take him around in USA and making sure that he has a good time. Now I am thinking that if we do all that, the kid will obviously like our place and he too will start saying the same mantra of moving with us. I am too confused.

1.How do I tell them subtly that I do not want any responsibilities for the SIL and the kid?

2. I do not want to have a bad relation with them. So what should be my next move?

3. My husband is VERY sensitive person. When my parents came to USA last year, he was looking after them like his own parents. I do not want to hurt him. Please give me some points to convince my husband against this.

You Might Find These Useful:

Very tricky situation..how to deal with it