My Husband has chronic disease.. what can i do?

hi

Me and my DH are both 36+ and an infant. We both work in IT and have hectic job schedule. My husbands job is even worse with offshore all the time.

Our life had been on rough patches from the beginning. Things had recently got happier with baby. Few years back he was diagnosed with CKD - "Chronic kidney infection" which was irreparable but could have been delayed with medicines. Then we had baby, life got tougher.

Now doc reports are asking for further tests. I am angry, sad and worried about us, about baby, about our life.

Life has never been stable ever since I married him. His lies about family status, his over-over-conservative family were too much shock for me. I never got close to his family. Many more problems came to life, I always accompanied him.

Left my jobs.. to be with him when cheated on me, when he moved to new city. It was always me juggling between work place and residence. Always me.... He started small office fling, made stupid decisions in life, I suffered, i compromised and stuck with him.

He never tells any problems to his family. Because of this I got never close to them, never bonded with them. When he had discovered this major health issue, he should have. He is okay if my parents worry about him but not his parents.

His family, his SILs, neighbors, relatives, all think we have money tree here. They tell me things - like life is easy for me, I am in US, I am working, I have car, I drive,I see places, I wear whatever I want, I do not have to live with ILs ...He acts like he is super rich.

Now ...

I am worried. His condition is beyond repair. I am worried about our future. I have no support from his family - morale/emotional support, financial or physical support.

I am worried about my daughter, her future. I am worried being left alone again to fight and survive and raise her. I do not know any one in US. For same reasons, I had wanted to move back to India near to my parents. Atleast someone will be there for me. Sometimes I think to quit my job to have another children or take care of everyone's health but ....i have no one to support if something happens.

He is good man. He is not aggressive or abusive but he is definitely immature & STUPID. He does not make many friends.

When I ask him to eat less salt for his really high BP, he adds more. I ask him to sleep, not to watch tab, earphones etc, he shouts. He is extremely stubborn that I have now stopped telling him things.

I came here for emotional support or venting out. Forgive me for long post but I am too disturbed.

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My Husband has chronic disease.. what can i do?