Am i Over thinking? Advise please...

Hi All,

Sorry for a lengthy post. Kindly share your opinion please.

I am a working mother of 3 year old kid, married 4 and half years back. Mine is a love cum arranged marriage.I don’t have a FIL.I have MIL, 2SILs (elder SIL is so senior and got married) and BIL.

My MIL always tries to dominate and try to make me unhappy by all means. Some scenarios for eg:

When I got pregnancy, I called to my MIL(was living in village) and informed happily. The first thing I heard from her is “go and get abortion”, really I felt shocked. The reason she said “we started looking proposals for SIL, if u r pregnant, how can u sit in kalyanamantapam and do kanyadanam?”. But by mother’s support and words, I didn’t do what she said, and told her I can’t do it. During my pregnancy period, she came to my home in the name of taking care of me and used to tell, you should deliver a baby boy only. Girl baby should not be born like that. I was very unhappy and got angry with her words, but didn’t fight back, as my hubby supported me at that time.

After delivery, she came to hospital, to see the baby. I was suffering with feeding problem, due to inverted nipples. At that time she said “If I have mutton (Non veg), will I get milk? So that I can feed baby!” really I felt wonder by listening her words. I think nobody might not heard a granny feeding her new born grand son in this world.

Whenever I ware some nice saree or dress, she used to tell, don’t ware this, it is very old model, not good, etc. Like these incidents are many….

After my ML, before I rejoin to office, I thought to leave my kid at daycare as Mil told, she can’t come until both SIL and BIL got married(Even my mom cant come as dad has diebetes and do agriculture). But my sister didn’t allow me to leave him at day care and took him with her. Until baby gets 2 years he was with my sis, i used to go every/alternate weekend to my sis home town and spend the weekends with him. Later I brought him here and joined to day care.

Recently both my SIL and Bil marriages were over. Me and my husband have done all the tasks as per responsibility like looking marriage proposals, marriage works,etc. but at last in BIL’s marriage she said, you don’t have relation ship(sambandam) to do any task…which hurt me a lot, but as i dont want to make it a scene i kept quite.

Now she has come to my home(She didnt come when we were in need).Its good that she is helping me in cooking, taking care of baby after day care , and before we come home. But I am unable to mingle with her freely. Whenever she spoke nicely with me(only in front of my hubby she behaves so nice), all the incidents that she hurt me comes to my mind.

My mom told, leave all the past, and be good to her, and treat her as your mom. But I am unable to forget all the pain she caused me.

I told to my DH, but he fought with me and told to forget all the things, and be obidient/nice to her.

Please advise me, am I over thinking about past? If I am silent for all her words, she will try to dominate me always right?

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Am i Over thinking? Advise please...