how to deal with stupid H?

Hi all

My H is making me go crazy these days and I really want to slap him. So virtual slap here online.

I take care of baby, her feeding, other things & he mostly cleans up house. He does help in baby work also... I really appreciate he does that. But some times he is plain STUPID..most of the times.

I use powder and in hurry sometimes it is lying(while application) here & there. 9pm at night, baby is extremely tired, cranky because of teething, he is holding her trying to sleep her, he looks at powder patch on bedroom floor, picks up powder bottle, sprays all over the room ( like holi colors) in anger. I told him to take away baby ...she will inhale it. Then he realized & tried to sleep her in cold hall room for sometime, ..powder settled bit from air,.. then put her in far corner of bedroom..but still could feel it... then he is opening windows.... Then he is arguing and tell me I am arguing and not listening.

I try to teach her self feed so I hand her foods or put on her food tray & obviously..she will mash, play, dirty herself & throw on carpet & floors. Once I did not get time to pick up yet. He saw, got angry...emptied other food items on floor & carpets.

When she was newborn, he would not let me keep her diaper free for a minute..Then he argues why I overfeed her. So many times we found out we feeding her less because he will scold me.

He has all those sinus etc issues. He wears less clothes, keeps room temp & car temp at max - 80 or plus. I argue for baby sake.. no. Then I ask other every other person/friend, even ped to assure my H. He tells me we are indian...you are fat so you feel hot. Pushes all my buttons.

I tell him lets not do this/that..we do want to get fully exhausted in the evening as we have to take care of her, feed her at night. He will say I will take care of everything. Then night comes.. he sleeps. Ah.... he would cook in kitchen for continuos 6 hrs..why bcz some bug bit his brain, he wants to eat something, cook something.. I will beg to order or not cook, & exhaust. Baby is not 1 person's job. But no..

He sleeps and wakes up with ALL the gadgets around. Tab, smartphones, his phones, earphones, I find in bedsheets, under pillows. I see him watching stuff before bed, I wake up for bathroom he is on screens, I wake up I see him staring at screens, goes toilet with screens, takes baby to toilet(potty seat) with screens. Then he tells me he does not get sleep. Why should I complain..I sleep 8 hrs. I wake up & before even going to restroom I start planning or doing baby care/other activities.

He thinks he is very cool & tries to impress every new person. Then he ACTUALLY tells me they might think H is a nicer, cool person but not wife. He tried to impress my young nurse at ob/gyn who used to come for weight check by making fun of my increasing weight everytime. .. In front of his parents, he is COW. I hate him.... I want to tell them ...take him back. In front of my parents, he argues, he actually hugs me.... O wait.. in front of others, he acts like hen pecked husband. People think I wear the pants in house. he is slave. In front of my nanny every morning,he asks ....do I want to eat this ...or that? Huh...Like he is real worried about me.

Did not even bring cake on anniv or bday. Many yrs ago, I use to drive 4 hrs back & forth every week- 10/11pm & 5/6pm. He would not call to ask if i reached fine. Our family/friends make fun of us ...stupid jokes about wife dominating. No one knows the sufferings he has given me in the past.( lies & lies).. I never mention anything to his parents or mine.

After baby, everything has changed. I tell him doing unnecessary stuff means less attention to baby.

What do I do? I know no one is perfect.....no marriage is ..hunh...Venting......

I do not want to be the one to control him but his stupid acts have done enough damage. I do not want to start on many of his life changing stupidities. Atlas my stupidness did damage only my life.

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how to deal with stupid H?