My exams; ils visit; dhs cousins wedding at 1 time... how to manage

I was in the same state a few years ago...I started going to the library to study because my mil wouldn't let me study at home. Maybe you can do that when they come to visit. If you are going for training, you will be away from them so why bother? Is your dh a doc too? If so, he can understand. If not, you need to explain the importance of being calm and giving these exams. Also, he needs to understand how tough these exams are. Non medico husbands find it hard to understand. They know it is tough for us, but they don't understand the extent of the problem. Pil think we use studies as excuse to escape from family obligations. You can't and shouldn't deal with this right now. Don't try explaining or arguing with them about it because you will lose your peace of mind!

1. You said you have not stayed alone after marriage and u will find it tough. Take advantage of this time to study extra. Don't feel bad or lonely. When we are alone, we can concentrate more. You can call and talk to dh or your parents during breaks.

2. Have you considered having your parents over or going to your parents house for sometime? It is a good option....

3. Get lots of ready to eat stuff, instant noodles, breakfast cereals etc. I survived on these during exams!

4. As far as wedding is concerned, talk to your dh about it. Don't attend if you don't want to. My mil came with all sorts of stupid functions that I had to attend. I didn't attend all of them. Maybe just 1 or 2. I just showed them my face and went back. She complained but too bad...on the day of my entrance exam she wanted me to come directly to her best friend's son's wedding from exam hall....I flatly refused.

5. Hire a cook. I did this but it didn't work well for me.

how to deal with ils during their exam visit:

1. Talk to your dh and see if you can postpone their trip. Tell your dh that with exam stress, you won't be able to pamper your ils...that you will do proper "seva" after your exams and that you want to pamper your mil! Tell him that if they come during exams, they might feel obliged to do house work, but after your exams, they can enjoy while you pamper them! Try to sound earnest, he might believe you!

2. If they insist on coming, don't fume. Talk to your dh about what work you can and are willing to do.... If it is too much hire extra help.

3. Talk to your dh clearly before they come and make sure HE communicates with them. If you are angry, go out do something else. It is easy to get frustrated during exams and take it out on pil!

4. Be prepared: mil will dump work on you behind dh's back and force you to do it. I used to leave for the library along with my dh and return late in the evening. Never stay alone with her...like you said mils are insecure and jealous...they won't let you study!

hope this helps! Whatever you do, don't call your peers often....if they are not married, they would have studied more and you will only get more tensed!

My exams; ils visit; dhs cousins wedding at 1 time... how to manage