mercredi 27 août 2014

issue..how to handle

Hello Dear

I just cant believe your story because the same happened to me. with a 2 weeks baby you have handled to write this big post, loggin on computer so can imagine your problem.


I have come across same thing and it was so tough. On one side you feel your parents who came all way long to help you and not getting good treatment and Also on another side your husband who has been very nice but changed after delivery.


my parents visited me before my son born, so at that time my DH was very nice to my parents we took them to different places but when they came for my delivery same thing happened. My dad spoiled our carpet with his hair dye which costed 1000$ and my DH was very upset and he would criticize my parents not using sanitize, not cleaning bottles properly. all sorts of things. I got so angry that i shouted on my husband infront of my parents like hell. It was unnecesary fight. Due to that stress my milk production came low. and all sorts of mental stress. I would fight with my husband openly and also never thought that i would have just went India with my parents. The loss of my pay and flight tickets. then my DH would have realized value of the help my parents did.


My husband lost trust that WE DONT LISTEN TO HIS WORDS and only argue with him and trying to oppose him. he would always ask suggestions from his mom.


I hated my husband for his rude behavior and after an year i went India, i saw my parents were doing same India too, our house was becoming so bad. I myself couldnt adjust and at that time i realized my parents shoudl also change. Hygiene is definetely important.


RELAX. Right now the most imp thing is you need lot of rest both physically and mentally. Dont Strain yourself by thinking a lot and struggling between your husband and parents. They will be fine, this is not the last time your parents will come to you. They might feel bad now but this phase will be over, right now you will have post partum mental stress, so small things will make you get real angry.


so dont blame your hubby completely. and also its not that he is doing right.

I see some husbands help so much when baby born, on another side husbands like this start pin pointing.


Its important at this point, you try to pretend as if you agree with your husband. In a very proper way tell your parents to make some changes, how to clean up food. If your dad mess up bathroom, get some clorox sanitize wipes and clean it moment he comes out of bathroom. or before your hubby comes home.


The more you try to explain your DH things would get more complicate.

My suggestion would be.


1. Your husband will go to office. so by the time he comes, make sure you do little clean up to the house so that he doesnt feel house is not hygenic.

2. Dont tell anything to your parents coz they feel really bad that their son in law is not complaining on them and they might be upset with him. I would say IF YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS, SEND YOUR PARENTS FOR A WEEK OR 2 TO your siblings house saying that your parents have to attend a party. and let your husband help you with all stuff, then he will realize how tough it is to handle a week old baby along with cooking at home.

3. Order food from outside, so that your mom dont have to cook and spend that day for cleaning the house.

4. The moment your husband comes home, give the baby to him. I know your mom might want to play, but ask her to play during the day time when yoru hubby is in office and also weekends. Let your hubby change the diapers etc during the evening and your parents dont have to take care.


Last but not least, if your husband still doesnt change and insulting your parents.

PLEASE SEND THEM TO INDIA AND YOU ALSO GO TO INDIA WITH THEM.

if you are wokring, your loss of pay, and flight tickets all will be additional expense to your DH.

THEN HE WILL REALIZE, HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN PROPER RESPECT TO INLAWS when they came to help him. Instead of throwing tantrums he would have just helped them.






issue..how to handle

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