Forgetful? Not me!

Well, who hasn't heard of that little joke where you tie a thread around your finger to remind you of something and then later wonder as to why is that thread there in the first place! I am reading a book on the middle aged brain talking of the benefits of middle age despite the forgetfulness that seems to be creeping in. Now now don't jump the gun and assume I am there already. First of all the said book assures that there is a debate as to what can be considered middle age and apparently middle age is between 48 and 65, for now anyways. Well, when I touch 48, hopefully there will be theories that will allow me to feel younger then or I can look up to that 65 and feel I have ways to go, just like how I feel now.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was talking about forgetfulness! Talk about forgetfulness. Oh boy. We all have many many examples of those "oops" moments starting from “why am I here” finding one self between two rooms to “Why am I drawing blank with my library card number" Many a time these days, I cannot help but feel that I am forgetting to teach some class. I don't know why I always feel I should be else where. After thinking about that feeling, I have come to the conclusion that it is nothing but a trick my brain has developed to help me get used to my chaotic life style. Full confession here, I have forgotten to show up for classes I was supposed to teach and not the one to make up a reason, I am sure I have frustrated many a people when I simply and sincerely said "I am so sorry I forgot" and made up for that class. I am a terrible liar you see! I am often reminded of that time when my younger one started her school. Oh boy how many times have I not felt that I have forgotten her somewhere! Now as much as I may not be happy saying this, I am so glad there are those cell phones. If I forget them, they just call me, the kids I mean!

So now coming back to the book. Ah you see there? I am not forgetting after all. I do remember I was talking about the book. I told you I am not middle aged.... yet! Wanting to continue where I had left off, I open the book approximately to a page I thought I had left off at and land on the first page of chapter one and as I read through it, to my horror I realize I have not read at all! Then what was it I was reading for 20 mins last night? Why does nothing that I am reading now sounds familiar? I flip through, backwards and forwards and still cannot get to a page that seems familiar. I go back looking at the introduction wondering with horror if I Spent 20 mins reading those pages numbered with those roman numbers ending God knows where and haven't even started the book yet? Now that I think of it, I do remember thinking that with this book, I am going to read the premise on which the whole book is set. But did I do it?

Ah well, with those thoughts in my mind, I head out to the spin class. The spinning instructor comes to us all with a “Hello my name is” stickers in an effort to memorize all our names in the next month or so. That's what she says anyways as she hands the stickers. Thinking of my forgetfulness, the floating population that comes to the class, I smile and hand my sticker back. As she peers down at it, trying to read my name I offer her with a “I wrote you a story” She cracks up while I explain the three lines I have written – the first one is the way my name is actually spelt, second line is my name spelt the way it should be pronounced and third one says she can simply choose to call me “S”. She repeats my name three or four times and adds her own spelling the way she says it as the fourth line! Now my story is complete.

After coming home, not being able to figure out if that was the book or if I was getting confused with another book I am reading, I decide to start afresh anyways from page 1 chapter 1 and find that I cannot keep the book down. But I know I do have to squeeze in that mid week run. After a little debate it is the "I need to get it done" that wins over a very interesting book. As I do the laps around the lake thinking about the book, trying to sidestep those earthworms making their way from one side of the grass to the other through that very black top I am running on, wondering about the pain I will inflict on them if I step on them, flinching at the thought, wondering if the index of pain is the same for them...the earthworms and me and then consoling myself that I perceive their pain from my perception of pain and may be they are stronger than what I know especially knowing a little more about them from my biology class, I realize that I have lost count of the number of laps I have made! I was supposed to have kept a count and now I forget. I tell myself going around the same loop over and over can do that to anyone and I gently remind myself that it is not about being forgetful but it is more about being mindful! Not that I don't have those blank moments. I do. Too many of them to count even. I am just too young to acknowledge that I am forgetful. But telling myself to be more mindful helps you see. And that is what I am going to stick with, for now at least till I come around to being middle aged.

Forgetful? Not me!