Yoga For Celebs

Ah the D day is drawing near.. It is a matter of less than a day before a whole lot of VIPs and not-so-VIPs will contort their bodies in various positions on Delhi’s Raj Path. The road where bands and soldiers marched during Republic Day will now showcase the ancient Indian (did I hear somebody say Hindu? Sorry all contortions are secular). Discipline of Yoga. to mark the World Yoga Day.

At this time we would do well to remember the adage that one man’s food is another’s poison. One man’s yoga could be another’s roga (ailment for Hindi/Sanskrit challenged).A could perform one exercise and get rejuvenated and B could be carried in an ambulance or hearse after the same exercise.

So I thought I could contribute my mite to the World Yoga Day by chalking out a list of who should perform what exercises. Since it is impossible to draw a list of exercises for our entire billion plus population I decided to limit the list to our VVIPS, VIPs and those who suffer from the chronic delusion that they are VIPs.
And I also find it difficult to categorize people by types so let us take individuals. Let us start with my own former profession:Media. And who represents it better than Arnab Goswami.? Here is an exercise for him.

Take a deep breath, take your right hand behind you and pat your back. Then slowly bring it forward. Then do the same with your left hand. As you are doing this fill your lungs with air and shout at the top of your voice I AM NUMBER ONE I AM NUMBER ONE I AM NUMBER ONE I AM NUMBER ONE I AM NUMBER…. Keep doing this until you collapse.. You are right this is called Backpatasana.


Now let us turn to politics from media and who comes to our mind but Diggy dear? Here is an asana for him. It is called Kukkutasana. Strike up a very canine pose and try to wriggle your rear before your lord and master as he smiles beatifically. (Those at whom this Asana is aimed better watch out. The doggie that wags its tail can treat you as a piller or lamp post and ……. If you don’t believe this ask Arvind Kejriwal.. See how Prashant Bhushan and Yogendra Yadav converted Kukkutasana into Kukkutamutrasana. (Doggie urine pose).

Oh how about Diggy’s lord and master.? Is there no asana for him? Yes there is, You see Diggy treats him like God. Why like God> As God. And gods are much better off when they are invisible. So he should perform this adhrishyasana and disappear, running to catch the first plane to somewhere or nowhere , may be spending time until the Kingdom Come at some southeast Asian massage parlour oops sorry meditation camp

And here are some who need Manmohanasana. Originally called Mounasana ithis has been renamed Manmohanasana after our great former PM who was a great practitioner of this posture. It goes like this : First inhale, then exhale. Bring your lips together tightly sealing them. Susha Swaraj and Vasundhara Raje could benefit from this.. Additional benefits could be available if along with sealing their lips they ball their hands into fists to resist the temptation to tweet.

Some people need to do a combination of both the asans. This combo asana is called Manmohanaadhrishyasana.. This asana is specially for panellists on TV debates who talk expertly about things of which they have nary a clue. The English translation of this asana’s name is SHUT UP AND SCOOT.

And how can we forget Vadrasana named after the redoubtable Robert Vadra, the SIL of the nation. The Asana can be performed in any vacant piece of land. All you have to do it is to sit in the lotus pose or lie down in Shavasana and refuse to vacate it until the owner sold it to you for a song.

And let us conclude the thread with a tribute to the greatest yoga master of them all, N.D.Tiwai who wrote is name in the history of yoga in golden letters by being caught on the camera.performing the highly challenging Threestreesambhogasana with three ladies few years ago in his ripe eighties.. Highly admirable when youngsters have trouble making it out with one.Wonder where our deari Tiwari ji is now. Wherever you are I bow my head to you in obeisance..

You Might Find These Useful:

Yoga For Celebs