Lessons for Next Matrimonial Correspondence

Lessons I have learned for next matrimonial correspondence

#1

Answer questions to the point. If someone asks you yes or no question, answer with yes or no, do not add extra details.

#2

Do not tell the prospective grooms your ambitions. They might get jealous and subconsciously plan to side-line you if in fact you do get married. My ex made me feel stupid and was threatened by my strengths.

#3


Love your children first, yourself second, your parents third, your husband fourth. In my last marriage, my ex and in-laws didn't care about me during pregnancy, didn't even ask how I was, and could care less if I would abort the child or not. At the end my parents were with me.

#4

People enjoy your misery. This goes back to first lesson, answer to the point, don't pour your heart out to relatives.

#5

You tell others how to treat you. Near the time of my marriage I felt like a piece of sh## because there was another alliance I liked 100 times more, but my elders rejected because he seemed to intelligent for me, and it would take more time to dig information about him, and my parents had a medical emergency and were scared of dying before I got married.

Even thought I liked my then soon-to-be, I couldn't help but think about this other alliance, and how I was not smart enough, and if I had been smart like so-and-so's daughter, then I can marry him without extra digging.

And because I felt like sh##, my ex sensed this and started to treat me like sh##.

#6

Your heart will never betray you. After I got rid of my ex, I kept thinking of that alliance my family rejected and was wondering, about all the what-ifs. What if this, what if that. Now, only God can unite me with this match if he was the right person, otherwise He will give me someone better.



#7

Dress to impress yourself. Before, I was dressing, wearing weird things in the hopes that my then-husband would like me. I don't like skinny jeans, but that's what I wore but he didn't care. Now, I dress very modestly, the way I like.

#8

Don't badmouth your ex. If the prospective groom asks specific questions, only answer. And badmouthing is the kiss of death, because the prospective groom will see you can negative and might be subconsciously sympathetic to your abusive ex (he said, she said)



#9

Think of MIL and other In-Laws as Management for a company where you work. If they do something like gift you with jewelry only to take it away, or God-knows what else, just take it in stride. Play the game.



#10

Marry someone you are attracted to. My ex was tall and handsome, and I was thrilled to marry him, but there was little chemistry (which was probably a sign of things to come). If you're not attracted to the person you are going to marry, then you must have some other reason for going into this, and staying committed.

Lessons for Next Matrimonial Correspondence