Recipes for Desserts

stoon

A little background about my home, 3 straight rooms, to reach room no 3 one has to pass through the living room, then my bedroom, then the 3^rd room (MIL’s room), then there is a lobby, kitchen, and restroom. The WIFI cable in my room and internet signals strong in my room only. Lack of privacy in our house, whenever someone visits, I make sure that between the living room and my bedroom, curtains are drawn however, if someone visits in my absence, MIL doesn’t bother about all this and says how does it matter if someone peeps into your room through the living room. I have had many arguments with her because when I am at work and visit home early, I would see her entertaining guests in my bedroom!! After a lot of struggle, I stopped this and have told her strictly that I can’t tolerate this nonsense. People will either sit in the living room or if you want, your room, never mine and things started improving a bit thereafter.

Now for the past few days I am having a very hectic schedule at work due to closing so I would reach pretty late. Day before yesterday the moment I entered home, I saw a friend of MIL sitting in the living room. I spent a full 1.5 hours with her repeatedly because my MIL said my friend has come to see you, to meet you, she wants to spend time with you, etc. etc. and I was dead tired by the time she left.

Now yesterday when I reached home, I was shocked to see a girl who is a neighbor, sitting on a chair, in my bedroom, with her legs spread on my bed!! I asked my MIL what's the matter why the hell she is there?? MIL told me that she has come to use your WIFI connection! On top of it, my MIL was serving her cold drink when I was trying hard to send her off! I had to act very blunt and told that girl to go into the living room as I had to change and I took pretty long to change the clothes. But that shameless girl again entered the room when I unbolted the door between my bedroom and the living room. Then I spent a lot of time in the washroom to show her clearly that I wouldn’t entertain her. After that I went outside the house into the verandah pretending that I was talking on the phone. I think the signals were enough for her and she finally left!

Now when I entered the home I confronted my DH (who was yesterday working from home and was on a con call when that girl came and left. My DH was roaming with his hands free in the bedroom and living room while she was shamelessly surfing the net and my MIL was practicing the harmonium in the living room. My DH said why are you over reacting if she used the internet in our bedroom? What is the big deal? I was appalled by his cool reaction. I told him how would you react if some guy would sit like this in my bedroom at the pretext of using bloody internet? If it was so urgent can’t she go to a nearby café which is just a block away? I just can’t come home and tolerate nonsense. My DH just brushed away my reaction and said you are making a mountain of a mole hill and by that time, I got really pissed off. Looking at my reaction, my MIL again played a game of high BP. Whenever I have an issue with anything and have a tiff, she starts behaving like an attention seeker by pretending to faint and starts crying. I immediately rushed outside to call the doc, but my DH stopped me.

I told my DH and MIL that I just can't stay in this suffocated environment where if I raise my voice over a pertinent issue, then MIL falls ill, I said if something happens to her because of me then I won't be able to take the blame and I am leaving for my parents right away.

Having said that, I started packing while my DH plainly ignored all this and was attending to the MIL wholeheartedly. When MIL saw that I actually started packing she immediately came to my room and started crying please don’t go etc. etc.… I said no ever since I came I have been trying to bear with this nonsense of neighbors and relatives and instead of understanding and supporting me, you don’t take any action to guard your house and fall ill to change the subject.

My MIL dint let me go to my parents and I am extremely depressed. My DH dint give two hoots to anything and continued working on his laptop.

I feel highly depressed.

On the verge of a break down, please help

stoon

Already october is here...

Two more months to go for 2015!

could n't believe almost a year is going to pass soon...

Each day is valuable... every ounce we lose counts...

Let us reach the target of losing 1 kg this month!

Our weighing days:

oct 1-Start

oct 10-Phase 1

oct 20-Phase 2

oct 30-Phase 3

Teams:

Team 1:50-55 kg

Team 2:55-60 kg

Team 3:60-70 kg

Team 4:Above 70 kg

Joining format

Name-

Team-

Sep 1st weight-

Sep target weight-

Link to the spread sheet to maintain our data.

http://ift.tt/1r1WTpu

We raise our own [COLOR=#009900 !important]challenges[/COLOR] and assign 1 point per day if followed.

We re new our challenges or [COLOR=#009900 !important]continue[/COLOR] the same once in every 10 days on our weighing days.

Good Luck Dears!

Buddies Required!!! Lose a kg for a month- Oct 2014!

stoon

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My Quilling-Aarathi Plate for Navarathri

stoon

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Food for Orphanage

stoon

Dont think any thing negative, this is no sign. Just think that God has saved you from a big fire by just giving this small burn on your finger/cloth.

Just my opinion - it is not a good idea to keep cloth or any other inflammable materials on areas where we have open fire like near jyothi/stove. So see if you can remove the table cloth completely from your mandir.

Burned my finger while lighting a jyot

stoon

Hello IL,

We are planning to relocate to Anaheim/Cypress area and looking for some apartments with indian community. I am a housewife with 5 yr old daughter and looking for some good indian community apartments. Can someone please suggest some nice apartments in that area. If the apartments are closer to schools with some good ratings that is even better. I appreciate any help in my hunt for apartments.

Thank you,

Sowmya

looking for apartments in Anaheim or Cypress area with indian community

stoon

Dear friends,

I do not have words to explain what we go through at the end of the month!! After the excitement caused by the shower of nominations and the pleasure of reading one excellent post after another, rings the big gong! Its time to choose! Let me put it this way for then every female member (and a few male members too?!) will understand the pressure very clearly--- Imagine we go to a huge and famous sari house..say Pothys or Nallis and we are on a budget and can buy only one or two saris at the most..!! Yes friends, all of you will now understand the pain of it all!!

Having graphically explained the pain we go through, I will proceed to say that thankfully the pain was gradually healed, slowly but somewhat pleasantly. Did you know the healing power of certain scents? All of us who have read a Jane Austen know how the smelling salts work on the jarred nerves of the dainty ladies!! In this case, it was not just the smelling salts, but a plethora of scents that invaded the senses, its intoxication was simply over powering! There was no question of hesitating. Its spell left no choice but to succumb to the sweetness! If in doubt, check it out for yourself...

The winner of the Finest Narration is Parineethi's 'The Pinnacle of Intoxication'!

Congratulations Parineethi!

You left us truly intoxicated with your snippet! The amazing variety of smells and scents we are exposed to was brought to us in a very pleasant and beautiful narration by you. I am almost sure that everyone who read the snippet were bathed in the floral aromas, could smell the freshly brewed coffee and end up smiling at the sweet smell of Johnson's baby!! Johnson??! Your baby! Please continue with your snippets and bring us joy Parineethi, it is my sincere request to you!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the above snippet we realize how we are surrounded by a wealth of beauty, be it nature or its scents, sounds and the laughter of a baby. Most of us take it for granted and forget its existence in the humdrum of life. We are so busy with our electronic gadgets, cars and planes and go on adding and improving the same for an even more savvier version and pride ourselves about our efficiency. Then one day the same car or plane gets us into a dangerous situation plunging our egos along with it. What do we do then? We look up to the heaven, the same heaven we had forgotten! Realization hits us! That's what happened to Stillwater!

The Winner of the Finest Contribution goes to Stillwater for her "Is it God?"

Congratulations Stillwater!

It was gripping to read your chilling experience which you narrated beautifully. One experiences a certain anxiety and suspense and holds the breath wondering how and where your journey ends. It did take you almost out of this world and made you realize what exists out there, everywhere. You ask ' is it God'! I ask you, what else...?! Whatever name we may give, the Presence is felt everywhere! We hope Stillwaters that you will give us many more such snippets. You have been your own competition as your 8-8.30 snippet was also in the race! We don't tire reading your snippets and hope you don't tire writing them!

.................................................. .................................................. ...................................

We thank Iyerviji and Viswamitra for nominating the winning posts!

We request all our winners and the above members who nominated them to pm their Usernames, pin codes, contact numbers to IL_Admin so the gifts can be sent. Thank you.

Your,

FP Team

Links to the Winning Posts:

http://ift.tt/1v2QdXH

Is it god ?

Finest Posts- September 2014 Winners!

stoon

Lessons I have learned for next matrimonial correspondence

#1

Answer questions to the point. If someone asks you yes or no question, answer with yes or no, do not add extra details.

#2

Do not tell the prospective grooms your ambitions. They might get jealous and subconsciously plan to side-line you if in fact you do get married. My ex made me feel stupid and was threatened by my strengths.

#3

Love your children first, yourself second, your parents third, your husband fourth. In my last marriage, my ex and in-laws didn't care about me during pregnancy, didn't even ask how I was, and could care less if I would abort the child or not. At the end my parents were with me.

#4

People enjoy your misery. This goes back to first lesson, answer to the point, don't pour your heart out to relatives.

#5

You tell others how to treat you. Near the time of my marriage I felt like a piece of sh## because there was another alliance I liked 100 times more, but my elders rejected because he seemed to intelligent for me, and it would take more time to dig information about him, and my parents had a medical emergency and were scared of dying before I got married.

Even thought I liked my then soon-to-be, I couldn't help but think about this other alliance, and how I was not smart enough, and if I had been smart like so-and-so's daughter, then I can marry him without extra digging.

And because I felt like sh##, my ex sensed this and started to treat me like sh##.

#6

Your heart will never betray you. After I got rid of my ex, I kept thinking of that alliance my family rejected and was wondering, about all the what-ifs. What if this, what if that. Now, only God can unite me with this match if he was the right person, otherwise He will give me someone better.

#7

Dress to impress yourself. Before, I was dressing, wearing weird things in the hopes that my then-husband would like me. I don't like skinny jeans, but that's what I wore but he didn't care. Now, I dress very modestly, the way I like.

#8

Don't badmouth your ex. If the prospective groom asks specific questions, only answer. And badmouthing is the kiss of death, because the prospective groom will see you can negative and might be subconsciously sympathetic to your abusive ex (he said, she said)

#9

Think of MIL and other In-Laws as Management for a company where you work. If they do something like gift you with jewelry only to take it away, or God-knows what else, just take it in stride. Play the game.

#10

Marry someone you are attracted to. My ex was tall and handsome, and I was thrilled to marry him, but there was little chemistry (which was probably a sign of things to come). If you're not attracted to the person you are going to marry, then you must have some other reason for going into this, and staying committed.

Lessons for Next Matrimonial Correspondence

stoon

Hi Ladies,

Me and my husband would be moving to Sydney in December. His office would be in Macquire Park. We are not sure yet which suburb is convenient and safe to stay?

Some options ppl gave us were Chatswood, Hornsby, Land Cove considering all these suburbs are close to Macquire Park..

Can you suggest which would be convienent and also safe to stay?

And we also found that rentals per week would cost us AUD 450-500.. Is that the normal rental range there?

Any piece of advice would be helpful!! :)

Moving to Sydney!! Need advice on rentals!

stoon

She may be a mother, mother in law, daughter, daughter in law, wife, divorcee, widow, single etc... All woman who is referred to here are the one's who go through unique journey of their own, being victimized in life in different way.

Each one of them, have their own sorrow, joys, experience's etc and none of them have same path traveled .. God created everything in nature, and of course he created men and women. But while creating us, the women, don't know what made god to put the extra love, care, the sensitiveness, the emotions, tenderness, the brain and what not...?? But yet we are subjected to ill treatment, the taunt of others, treated as object, fooled by others for the goodness we hold !!

Sad but true..!!!!!

Here I would like to present a story of 23 year old girl, Tanvi, who is young, smart, beautiful, talented, loving and always smiling. She is very sensitive, emotional, child like, has difficulty expressing herself sometimes.

Life has knocked her down many a times, but she puts in the courage and fights and struggles to put on the smile which reveals nothing but indeed presents her more as adorable !! Her eyes, sparkles every time when she smiles, and puts life in her, or rather would mesmerize the one seeing it. And yes she is bit short tempered, she is indeed human with both negatives and positive. She finds it difficult when people she love, don't understand her and try to judge her. She gets upset and avoid talking, and again people misunderstand it as her anger and taunt her.. Even if she tries explaining, people have less power to understand it...

Tanvi was born and brought up in simple middle class family where her parents had to work to make ends meet, to give her good education, and a better life. Here though the father is bit different from the normal ones, which affects Tanvi, in a lot big manner. Tanvi's parents marriage was an arranged one, done in hurry, Tanvi's father was bit irresponsible in life. Though he had good education, he was bit lazy to turn the education as weapon to settle in life. He was a businessman, he had not respected his profession, and had taken life for granted. He had habits, which normally destroyed his health and family too, he even had habit of borrowing money and never returning it, which caused Tanvi's mom to worry about more, but he's not bothered about it.

His wife, Tanvi's mom too was educated and had to take responsibility to keep the chariot of life running.

As soon as Tanvi was born, her mother took break for few years, and with her father's support, husband's peanut income she somehow managed leading life. And when Tanvi was at the age of 6, her mom decided to work. She wanted to ensure that Tanvi gets the best. So even though it was tough for her to leave her only child, and go to work, but she had no option left. And she started the journey of managing daughter, husband, office , house and overall life.

Tanvi's mother was born to upper middle class family, treated like princess in her house, even though she had two sisters and 2 brother's along with her. She was her dad's pet, smart too. But once she got married, her life turned upside down. Like all girls, she expected her husband to be loving, caring, responsible, intelligent. But life offered her a twist, with person, who is though loving, but not caring, or responsible, forget about being intelligent ! She did not have the in-laws to support or to help her. They knew about their son's cons, and yet as any guy's parent they felt, it is fine. (Which is the most case in our beloved mother land. No offense please). Tanvi's dad had a brother and two sister, where all were more or the same, with their life not settled. Hence she had no choice but to lead life as she got it.

She could no more bear the pain, taunts she was facing, the agony that was caused for the life which she did not chose, made her separate from the in-laws but along with her husband though.

It was only when Tanvi was born, her mother chose this bold step, and moved out of the house. She was sure that if at all Tanvi was bought up in same, uncultured, pathetic life, she too would turn out to be the one among her husband and his family type. Though her husband was not very understanding, he supported her with this decision. And here starts the journey of she, Tanvi (along with other she, her mother too) !!!

The Story of SHE . . . ! ! !

stoon

Did you miss the IL Book Club? I certainly did. We are a back and to make up for the lost time, there will be, not one but three book clubs. As readers each of you will have different choices of books that you like to read, so now you can also pick the club that you want join and read with. If you are an avid reader, pick up three books and challenge yourself.

No more monthly clubs so read at your pace and participate in the discussions and contests ( watch out for those) and win free gifts.

The three clubs are – based on genre:

1.The Chick Lit Club

2. The Crime/ Thriller club

3. The Fantasy club

Lets’ waste no time, I have set up nomination threads for each club, so post your nominations there.

An itsy bitsy note (but important) before I finish, complying with the IL copy rights guidelines, we (moderators) will not share any pdfs’ or epubs of books. As these clubs are not time bound, use the time to pick a copy and read. We will choose the books that are easily available.

Come along and start reading.

The Chick Lit Club- IL Book Club Nominations

The Crime/ Thriller club - IL Book Club nominations

The Fantasy Club - IL Book Club nominations

The IL Book Club

stoon

[unable to retrieve full-text content]Hogwarts and Hobbits, Demons and Dragons, Covens and Cullens, take your pick. Post your nominations here. I nominate The Hobbit by J R R Tolkien.

The Fantasy Club - IL Book Club nominations

stoon

I am planning to buy gold coins/bars from the US... I have a couple of doubts... Please help me choose the best

1. Which is best-coins or bars(credit Suisse) and why?

2. Which coin is good? 24ct or 22ct. Why?

3. Will I get the same gold price as in India if I give American Gold Eagle or Canadian Maple?

4. Is American Gold Eagle 916?

5. Is JMBullion.com reliable? Any bought from there?

please help

Please suggest. Gold coins or bars?

stoon

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shall we start a savings challenge

stoon

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help me with blouse sleeves

stoon

Hello ladies,

I am 29 and had miscarriage in june. Today is 5th day of my missed period. Took pregnancy test today morning and it came out positive (though T line is thinner than C line). My husband was so happy looking at the result. I came to office by two wheeler. I started bleeding from afternoon like normal period. Talked to my doctor on phone. She told me to observe it for 2 days and take the test again. I am worried and not feeling like doing anything because I thought I was pregnant since my missed period. What should I do? Should I wait or take the test again tomorrow?

Need help

stoon

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Looking for indian cook in Finchley

stoon

Good one again Rgs, velocity and displacement both are proportional in the same way things won't change if one stays in the past as they start moving with time.......
Happy Dusserha Buddy!

Last edited by kishoreg; Today at 06:06 PM.

Its hard to trust someone the second time around after they already gave you one reason not to trust them!

Back And Forth!

stoon

Hello!!

Can any one pls tell the correct procedure of doing the MANI DWEEPA BHUVANESHWARI pooja/vratam?......Like I heard that we have to do with 32 varieties of flowers,But how to offer 32 varieties at once?

kindly help me if any one has performed this pooja.....I want to do it in navaratri pooja!.

How to do Manidweepeshwari puja by reciting the manidweepa varnana?

stoon

Hey everyone,

Im a new joinee in ur community from City of Nawabs ..Lucknow..a very Heritage city of India rich in cultures and tradition.

Myself Nupur Malhotra... im quiet new to the place and got married few months back...I was interested to know about the Tradition of Celebrating Diwali in Abu Dhabi and ..when , where and how Indians Celebrate Diwali...If thr's any community where all Indians gather to celebrate then I would love to be a part of that community..

So pls lemme knw... and looking for forward to be a essential part of this group in future.

Thanks

Nupur

Introduction..Aadab, Namaste and Sasriyakaal

stoon

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My Amman Alangaram

stoon

[unable to retrieve full-text content]Wonder if ever you will know, What you mean to me... Wonder if ever you will know, How much I love you... Out of sight is out of mind.. Is what all say...but If you ask me I would say.. We have come a very long way.... I know you are inside me still

Out of sight....

stoon

Dearies...

As you all know my mom was standing beside me whenever I was down and upset with my marital problems in the past. If not her, I would have succumbed to death, as I had no other courage to face the storm then. She is still with me, as a baby-sitter to my kids. Her helps in my life is invaluable, as not everyone gets such a strong support from parents. I feel like I have won my marital life, regained the control over my finances, and succeeded in my career only because of my mom. I couldn't have think of other choices if she wasn't ready to extend her stay with me then. I also know that my mom has favored me over her other children (my siblings) only because I had marital problems then. So, I am always thankful to her.

However, currently with the grace of God, I lead a peaceful life. I somehow learned to fix my in -laws problems (I did not give up, confronted with them directly, and let my H understand that I won't take this crap any further). My H is also very cooperative. I think for about 1 year or so, we are leading a 'trouble - free" life. So, we could focus on celebrations, remembering the important days of life, giving gifts, and going on outings. I really feel blessed, and I think I deserve all these enjoyment because I had sailed in a very rough sea in the past.

Nevertheless, lately I understood that my mom is depressed about all the happenings around me. Like you all, I too raised my eye-brows at the beginning, because my mom always wanted to see me this way. She extended her support above her level best only to let me live like this. But why should she be so worried and depressed when I am finally there?

Her reasoning was, I may be trapped again.. I am going careless as before and letting my in laws walk all over me once again so she is worried.

To this, she always make it a point to give a long lecture as to how my past days were, how foolish I was before, and how my other friends were tactful.

Above all, she would always find some fault in my in laws (even if that was a tiny casual thing) and try to ensure that they have not at all changed. I sometimes feel she is highly biased, as she always stand on the other person's shoe if there were similar issues with others. But when it comes to in-laws, she pressurize me to see them negatively. This will only make me re-live my past, and bring trouble in accepting them.

Secondly, she has this fear of bring thrown away. She thinks that she had already left her home for me. Ignored the offer to stay with my brother. Never assisted my sister during her pregnancy and delivery times. It all happened because she was with me in my place then. My siblings wholeheartedly understood the need, and accepted my mom's decisions.

However, my mom feels like she can not expect anything from my siblings (emotional or financial) as she never helped them when needed.

At the same time, my in laws recent attachment with us might bring trouble for her prolong stay with me. If so, she fears as to where to go? I know, unreasonable fear she has, but she constantly worried about my in-laws. She is in secured. Therefore tries her best to prove me that my in laws' recent change is highly doubtful. They might change the mind of my kids, they might encroach in to our house, and throw her away, they might influence in our decision, they might do evil things to kids and all. Everytime, she has an example or incident (however tiny one that may be) to point me out.

Slowly but with time, my mom has developed this insecurity problem; thus depression. I can understand this very well now.

She is old, around 67 years. Also she is highly sensitive. She had never faced a family problem in her life. Always lived like a queen, and was wanted by others. So, it is not easy to make her understand things in a broader way.

She is the one who is with my kids all the time. Me and my H are out of home from 7am-7pm. She has a helper around.

She would call me with an irritable voice in the mornings while I was still driving only to tell that my MIL had taken my little one, and still playing so she can not feed her. Come on... What can I do?

Or she would tell as to how my kids are taught bad habits (like playing with sands and all) and she finally struggles to bathe them on time. Or she would tell me, how my kids are entertained with my MIL, so they don't obey her commands.

She is like competing with my MIL on everything, and showing her failure (or whatever is that) on me and eventually on my kids. YES.. She shows long face and depressed mood to my kids as well.

I feel extremely bad, as my kids love her a lot, she is the only source of happiness for them when I am not around. How bad if she shows anger or moodiness on them?

She further complains as if how tiresome it is to baby-sit all the time, that too for a long time. But MIL would just spend a 15 mins every now and then to play and eventually show as if she had equally baby-sit'ed with her. She fears as if I would extend the same love and respect for MIL for the same reason that she cares my kids as well.

Everytime, she tells me that my H is on his parents' side (may be) and he is only acting with me, so that he can enjoy my money. She competes with my H for the living-room TV, and if he changes one channel even during breaks, she would go to her shells back with long face.

Similarly, she would emotionally threaten me as if she can't handle the kids anymore. She prefers going back to my brother where she will be much respected. She always congratulate my cousin who managed to throw out her own in laws after a fight, and tells me I am yet to be strong like her.

I know my mom was wrong. But I can't simply throw her out or hurt her because of her past unexplained and invaluable support to me. Even my husband understands all that, and accommodate her foolishness because of that.

I know my MIL has changed, but I am yet to fully trust her. I dont love her, she she does not love me either. Just that we are in talking terms. I can't expect her to care for my kids, even if she is willing, I can't peacefully allow that to happen. Perhaps, MIL would come back to her own nature once she realizes that we are after her. It may aggravate my problems with her again.

Also, I dont want to be side-lined by everyone else if my mom says that she is unhappy with me. Because everyone around me knows that I should owe to my mom because of her favors for me. If I did not do that, they would label me as a selfish.

I am totally confused, and not sure how to react...

I may be typed all the wrongs of my mom here, because I am here to discuss them only. It doesn't mean my mom is anyway a wrong person. If I am to weight her, these matters are very tiny, as she had done sooooo much to me since childhood.

I am venting here, sorry for the long vent. But your opinions and suggestions to improve my life will be appreciated. Thanks.

Felt somewhat relieved for now!!!

My mom's insecurity

stoon

Hi,

Doctors say i have unexplained infertility

- My periods are regular, no PCOS

- Tubes are checked, i ovulate regularly

- DH's parameters are fine

Still trying for almost 4 years without luck . 5 IUIs [Tablets & Injections ]

Doc asks to go for IVF now. But i am very scared and not at all comfortable with the process . Is IVF linked to birth defects ? Is there higher chance of cancer for the mother due to the hormone injections ?

Desperately looking for something which can throw light on why it's not happening

Laproscopy isn't done.But doctor says that it's not required [probably i don't have any symptoms , never even had period pains]

i have chronic food and dust allergy and sneeze very often . i read something about Natural Killer cells which don't allow the embryo to implant . Docs in India don't give much weightage to that. ANY idea if any docs in Bangalore or Chennai do such tests?

Im 32 now. Can someone please tell me what are the other options i have apart from IVF? Something which people with unexplained infertility have had success in? . i'm feeling very depressed :(

Unexplained infertility - Any other tests/options apart from IVF?

stoon

Hi,

Now a days we can see many serials on Tamil Channels which is

Hindi original.How many of you like this? Though I dont like serials,I started watching Saravanan Meenakshi(old) then no serial is interesting.I have started watching Madubala now a days the herione is so pretty.

AnithaAnand

Hindi Serials in Tamil

stoon

http://ift.tt/1nCVG9d

Domestic violence including emotional manipulation, verbal abuse, economical abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse

Is a learned behaviour- role modelling by male members of the family

Can be prevented by programs

Children who grow up in homes with domestic violence become batterers or choose batterers as partners . Sometimes healthy individuals do so

Domestic violence is abt power and control and coping strategy to manage abuse or trauma the abusers have undergone in childhood.

Abusers have low self esteem and have a weird thpught abt masculinity that woman are inferior

Abusers tend to have more male children

Plus alcohol is not a reason for DV. The abuser uses alcohol as a cover for his abuse so his shortcomings are not known

Plus abusers have low EQ, have poor interpersonal and unhealthy relationships. But only their intimate partners know how they are . Abusers chose when to abuse and how to abuse the victim and dont have any remorse. Its the fear of getting caught rather than sincere apology

They never change. They see the victim as an object...

They need psychological help

If you are in an abusive relationship, get out ASAP esp if you have children as you will end up creating a new abuser in thr the family.

Dont stay just for the sake of society or saving your marriage as its very hard.

Victims of DV, please read the power and control wheel and the psychology of the abuser.

Domestic violence -power and control

stoon

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4 kgs weight loss challenge for october 2014

stoon

Hello friends,

My son nw is 65 days old ..During initial days I used to breast feed him .. but after 24 days my milk got reduced and baby started reducing weight... then we started lactogen one. But past 7 days he cries a alot sometimes after having lactogen.We got too much worried as we cant manage to control him crying.We showed doc and doc prescribed colcade syrub to give three times a day with 6-8 drops.. but even then could see him crying.. the crying is very severe and last to 2 mins non stop.. this is wat I cant see my baby crying and helpless... did any of u pppl faced this situation... what could be done to reduce my baby crying .. sometimes 3-4 times cries daily ... what is the remedy for this...

I am having lactare granules daily to increase my milk ... even then my baby dont have from me as he used to have from bottle.. plz help ....

Colic problem for 65 days old baby

stoon

Hi ladies,

I married 7 yrs ago and settled in bangalore ...after marriage I am suprised to see that I am left with no friends now .... I am basically from a small town neat mysore .... All my class mates and my best buddies are either in a different country or I have lost their contacts ... . Now I feel so alone with out friends .... I do have a loving husband ... caring sisters .... but still being with friends is something which I really miss ..... I tired search ing online in some of the chat messengers ... but their you end up chatting with some unknown guys ....

I am really looking for some one (LADIES) with whom I can chit chat , share my recipes ... catch up and go out for shopping or a movie. ... Any one in interested

wanna make new friends ... Any one near marathalli

stoon

Do you practice mindfulness throughout the day.

I heard mindfulness is observing things around you without any passing emotion, just being in the moment.

This morning I tried to be mindful by looking at the pavement, noticed it was bordered with steel to prevent concrete from being worn out by car tires that may rub against it.

But later on, I kept loosing my mindfulness.

How do you practice mindfulness?

Mindfulness

stoon

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Crochet Help Needed

stoon

Ever since I wrote my first post on Jan 28th 2014, my life has been revolving around my blog and I have been evolving !

Feb 28th was a day I celebrated one month of blogging. March 28th, I moved to my own website, for me it was a big step.

I had contributed two articles to Sulekha.Com - The most popular Indian community website in USA. After few days, to my surprise I received an email where they asked me if I was interested to officially contribute for their website.

April 3rd, I had become their first featured contributor from Seattle. I was really happy and with an intention to surprise my mother I called her up and told her everything about it.

Guess what?

I was shocked as she said "I am not surprised by this, I remember even when you were a kid, you would always try to write a poem or story in your old journal, but you never let anyone read it."

I don't remember writing at all.

It surprises me, how over the years I never tried to write again. Maybe I was too afraid to share my real thoughts with anyone. If I did write, it would have helped me ease my pain.

I wouldn't be bottled up for so many years.

If I was interested in writing why didn't I take it up professionally?

Why did I choose to study engineering for 4 years and then invest 3 years in masters of engineering. I did enjoy it though. NO regrets there !

Maybe writing was more like a hobby, which I stopped practicing over years and then all of a sudden here I am enjoying the appreciation in an totally different field for which I have had no formal education or qualification.

I have always loved meeting new people, attending various events and expressing myviews about it. This is exactly what I do at Sulekha, to add I get to interview celebrities and also help Indian community by writing about upcoming events and share with them the information related to daily life. Staying away from our motherland we struggle to create our own space here and I am so happy to be a part of it !

I was so nervous at my first interview, it was with the famous Carnatic musician Vishaka Hari, who is performing in various states of US. To my surprise again after the interview, I received a compliment by her that I was well prepared.

SURPRISE by Ananya Tales !

stoon

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Good Pediatrician in Adyar

stoon

I want to purse my education.

Reason is I feel very inferior coz am just a bachelors in arts that too passed in third class..I want to study not to work but for my self esteem.

I used to be so distracted by other silly things back in teenage that I forgot how important education is to a person's self esteem.

I have a wonderful life with great kids,amazing dh and financially secure.Infact,I was smart enough to secure jobs and stay in it for few years but now at home with the kids.

You may think nothing to feel inferior but my relatives always put me down saying I am nothing.they are MBA,MS holders who work in such esteemed jobs.According to them,my job is nothing and my life is nothing but "luck".their taunts annoy me a lot.Also,my ex friends whom I had the illuck to contact kept sneering and made sarcastic comments that I am doing what I am worth "sitting at home".

I know we need to have self respect and like my other posts no need for validation.

However,I kept thinking what would make me respect myself more?

An education.

I do not know what to study and where to start..

can you suggest me some degree courses which could be beneficial in the future too?

Hi ladies....I really need your help...

stoon

Anyone have Experience with Rachel Ray hard anodized cook ware.

I bought a 10 piece set for 105$ deal.I saw the reviews and they are really good but wondering whether they will be good for indian cooking or not?
Ladies please pour out your suggestions,Is it a good deal

Racheal Ray hard anodized cook ware

stoon

Hi Guys,

its been years I am keeping this question in my mind itself but now thought to post it in this perfect women portal so that I can get right answer.

My doubt is about hair styles that woman go for other than regular cut or trimming .

I have complete curly hair and little thick and up to shoulder. I am a working woman and in US i see all the woman go for one or the other hair style. Also noticed that no matter how good you dress up and make up but your final look comes from you hair style.

Sometimes I do straighten but it lasts until you take head bath. Never preferred permanent straightening becoz it will spoil your hair.

Now I see lot of Salon's and women go and get some hair style done. But how long will that hair style last? is it every week you need to go for a sitting or will it go off after every wash? I really need a makeover in hair perspective. I am very tired of my hair. I am looking old becoz of my hair.

Guys give me suggestions to maintain my hair.

Basic question on hair styles

stoon

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Any Telugu people in Irvine?

stoon

Dear friends,

I am 10 weeks pregnant and having mild lower abdominal cramps yesterday night after dinner, i just had water and tried to sleep, cramps were mild and not much affecting and continued to be the same today morning also, and been increasing in the middle of the day and is having severe sharp pain in my upper abdominal, I am experiencing constipation now and then after confirmation but trying to get over it by having dry prunes/fiber rich foods..

Can any one throw some light on this situation..

PS: already called doctor's office, still waiting on their call back.

Thanks

10 weeks- having abdominal cramps

stoon

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Any one from Saddle Brook NJ?

stoon

As I log in my longest run ever, I realize I had begun to repeat "Mind over matter, mind over matter". How many times have I not heard people say that after a certain mile, it is all in the mind. But all I can remember is Twain, yes the one and only Mark speaking of the same thing in reference to age thus - "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter!" I realize that I have to work harder to bring my mind back to focus trying to accomplish the run I have set out to do, not worrying about the age or the other numbers....errr runners. Oh Mr.Twain! I mind and it matters!

As I (?) continue to push my mind to focus, I am, out of nowhere reminded of a conversation from a book -

"Are aliens smarter than us?"

"Not at all. They have a long way to go to attain the level of man...."

"well, how can they be less smart than us if they can do things Man can't do yet?"

"What is so surprising about that? Bees too make incredible structures out of natural materials, including whole ventilation and heating systems, but that does not mean they are superior to Man in intelligence. In this Universe, there is no one and nothing stronger than Man except God"

I cannot help but think that how easily we put our blinkers on, making assumptions and undermining our own innate ability to be the humans we were meant to be, not to be better than someone or something else but to be the best of what we can be, as individuals! As I continue to think, I realize that my coach is waaay ahead of me and unless I bring that mind back to the task on hand, I won't be able to keep up with her. Finally I begin to see the one point meditative state that people claim they feel when they run. One cannot allow mind to wander, no way if there is a destination in mind!

As I sit nursing my sore muscles, suspecting even a stress fracture, my mind is not able to contain the excitement it continues to feel. I am not sure if it is the excruciating pain I feel in the legs, the excitement of the Dussehra festivities, of having some friends over, that speech of Narendra Modi that I am watching with an ice pack around my leg, the thought that I should actually be attending a friend's dance performance instead, the surprisingly awesome spring like day with just the perfect temps, or that awesome Sunrise I could experience early in the morning and my most favorite song playing in the background, summing up perfectly the feelings I am going through with a simple "Aaaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai.....", but the plethora of sensations I feel are very overpowering.

I realize that I am not able to handle it all and I need a break, a good break from my over stimulated brain and as I close my eyes, all I see that baby pink balloon - yes the very same pink balloon that my DD had so happily got from her friend's birthday party, a couple of years ago. As we stepped out into the cold, snow covered yet clear February morning that day, all I remember is that balloon some how escaping my DD's hand and flying off into the skies, making a wave as it flew higher and higher, making me wonder about the freedom it is experiencing and the destination it might reach, the path it might take; all I could feel was pang as well as a sense of freedom and a clear moment of clarity. I have not had yet another clear moment of bliss than that morning and the feeling is clear still in me. With tears in my eyes but a with smile on my face, as I looked down at my DD, I realized that she was filled with tears too, but for a different reason. The mother in me took control immediately and we were back inside requesting a new balloon!

I look at my DD who is sitting with us, not understanding a word of what Modi is saying playing on her tablet, thinking of the balloon, thinking of the intensity of my day and all I can feel is....some days are like that only! Thank God, I have that pink balloon in my mind to help me through when I most need it!

Some days are like that only.....

stoon

What a Man and a Father in Law

http://ift.tt/1vpb8q7

I read this article in TOI on Saturday, and could not help crying. I thought I was a tough nut, even when I was to be operated for cancer recently, it being a long operation, I did not shed a tear, but reading this , made me shed my precious tears. Read on

Vithal Radadiya, MP from Gujerat, has 5 sons. One of his son, Kalpesh, married to manisha, died of a heart attack a few months back. The couple have two small children.

So the FIL Vithal, was sad about his son’s death, and more sad for his DIL monisha. He could not bear to see her a widow and wanted to get her remarried. Well he got her married to a good friend of his deceased son, a few days back. The affair was a quiet one, somber.

But the strange part comes now. FIL divided his property among his 5 sons, and he gave his dead son’s share of 100 crores property to his DIL , well supported by the other sons, who said, we loved what our dad has done, and we have no problems in giving his share to our widowed bhabhi.

Now look at this from my eyes. FIL and MIL love their DIL and the grandchildren, the nishani of their dead son. So getting her married, means letting go of the dear grandchildren, who will not be in front of them all the time, but will keep coming sometimes. So it wil be sharing the kids affection now with their new father.

And to let go of 100 crores, is no mean feat. Now the new husband becomes a new person, an outsider, so now the son’s property will be shared between his wife and the new husband. It requires a very big heart, to give away such a big sum, and it speaks so well of this man and his sons, however much I praise this man, I cant.

I am just curious to know if he is a vegetarian or a nonvegetarian, for vegetarians are supposed to be kind, like this man , what do u friends have to say !!

And for what he has done, god will forgive him all his past sins, and give him permission to commit new ones with them being recorded in his register upstairs, for u don’t get such men, at least I don’t remember anyone with such a big heart as Vitthal bhai.

What a man. Kamal salutes u, Vithalbhai, u are a God on earth for me. I just wish I get a chance one day to just touch yr feet, before I die, for I feel u are a god in human form.

May his tribe increase.

KAMAL MAHTANI

The importance of an occupation after retirement.

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is just such a person....

THIS IS QUOTED FROM HAROLD:

"I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'

Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine, and whiskey into urine. It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying, and fulfilling.

I do it every day and I really enjoy it."

Harold is an inspiration to us all!

: Just because some Idiot threw the rumour in the market that "Men are from mars and Women are from Venus",

Nobody dares, not even Nasa or Isro, to go to Venus.... Only Mars missions!!

😂😜😂😜

😃😈🇮🇳♻

15 Ironies that can exist only in India:

- Indian parents want their children to stand out in a crowd but expect them to do what the crowd is doing

- Politicians divide us, Terrorists unite us.

- In our country you have to look both ways to cross a one-way road

- It's okay to piss in public but it's not okay to kiss in public

- Everyone's in a hurry but no one reaches on time

- Priyanka Chopra earned more money playing Mary Kom than Mary Kom earned in her entire career.

- It's dangerous to talk to strangers but it's perfectly okay to marry one.

- Swear in English and people think you're cool. Swear in Hindi and people think you're uncouth.

- Most people who fight over the Gita and Quran have probably never read either book.

- In our elections we don't vote for the candidate we like the most, we vote for the one we dislike the least.

- Ours is a country where sayings like "Ladki Ghar ki Laxmi" and "Ladki Baap ka Bojh hoti hai" coexist.

- India ranks 6th in the number of Billionaires per country. It's also home to 1/3rd of the world's extreme poor.

- We rather spend more on our daughter's wedding than on their education.

- The shoes we wear are sold in air conditioned showrooms. The vegetables we eat are sold on the footpath.

Sanskrit teacher :

What is the meaning of

'tamso maa jyotirgamaya.'

Santa said :

'tu so ja maa,

main jyoti ke ghar ja raha hoon'

Excellent Inspiring Message:

A Businessman who lost everything in a fire

placed a Sign Board:

"Everything burnt but luckily

faith & confidence

undamaged.

Business starts tomorrow."