need to vent

Between a new FT job and learning to be a mother, I havent had a chance to be active on IL for some months now. But finally its Christmas time - so slowdown at work and a couple public holidays have allowed me to check back in with all you lovely ladies!

PLUS of course since my in-laws are visiting, I have stuff to get off my chest so that it doesnt bottle up inside.

To be honest in the 1.5 weeks that they have been here, it hasnt YET been as bad as I had thought. But it is starting to go on the same path that I know will lead to a disaster and I dont know how to stop it.

Since the BIG fights I had with my DH when I was prego and 1 month after delivery, all because of my in-laws, I had decided to never let them into my house but then my DH seemed to realise and appeared to understand my point and agree with me, and promised that he'll take responsibility that his parents dont bother me, so here they are visiting us for 5-6 months

I try to avoid conversation with them as much as I can and try to NEVER be alone with my MIL without DH, but if by chance there is such a situation, she doesnt miss it to ask me personal questions that irritate me like anything. I have clearly conveyed that I dont appreciate such questions so she never asks them in front of DH but keeps looking for a chance to catch me alone.

My in-laws hog the kitchen too - it seems like my MIL is always in the kitchen. I cook my own food as I am on a special diet. But my MIL prepares 6 meals a day and her routine is cook, eat/feed, clean up, start cooking next meal, eat/feed, cleanup .... 6 times. Its hard for me to find space for myself in my own kitchen!!!

Is this normal - having meals six times - like properly on the dining table - breakfast1(with milk), breakfast2(with tea), lunch, evening snacks, dinner, night milk. No meal is a quick one, MIL lays out the table and then clears it even for night milk.

FIL is another story - prob. the laziest MCP alive. All he does all day is invade the whole town's privacy. If we ask MIL to play(just play, not any work like feed or change) with our 1 yo daughter for 10 min while we make her food, he cant even stand that. immediately he picks her up on pretext of playing and she starts crying as she doesnt like to go to his lap, so he brings her to us and says "oh mumma ke pass jaana tha... yeh lo go to mumma"

I feel very uncomfortable with FIL in my house. he constantly keeps an eye on me. Last week he objected to me calling my hubby by his name. I didnt react at all - kept playing with DD, thankfully DH and MIL responded to him and told him how senseless he was being. Since then I make sure I call or refer to DH by name in front of him at least 10 times a day.

Similarly he feels like it is his birthright to sit in front seat in car always and usually just takes it for granted. So this time in the 1.5 weeks that they have been with us, I have always asked to drive (anyways its my car and I have a license my DH doesnt) when we all are going out and specifically request MIL or DH to sit in front to show him he is not God. Sorry, I know this is immature but things he does and says drive me nuts. He treats my MIL extremely badly and get pissed off that my DH doesnt do same to me.

Things like opening and reading letters addressed to me before handing them to me. observing and keeping records of what time I shower and for how long, how many times, at what times and for how long, I go to the toilet. if I hang my UGs and towel out to dry, he keeps a check on when they dry and brings them in when they are dry and INFORMS me! Has to peep over my shoulder if I am working on my computer. If I change position or turn, he follows so he can see.

MIL is not so bad at least. She only grabs me when DH not around to tell me the kind of jewellery or clothes I should wear. I never obey her but feel horrible that she thinks she can tell me what to wear.

I would have ignored a lot of these things but what they did when I was pregnant was so bad that I find it very very hard to see their face every morning and evening and whole day on holiday X( . I want them to go back.

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need to vent