Can't forget and forgive!!

Well by now I guess you all have a fair idea about my problems and fights.

Things are going on as usual.Its a daily battle.I am getting better at things.Following a lot of things I mentioned in my earlier posts and they have been yielding good results.Its more peaceful at home now,DH and I argue very less,MIL sort of knows that I am cold towards her-although she tries to initiate talking and being very sweet on face and same is the case with SIL..But I maintain my distance because I very well know their capabilities to play foul game any time and fill DH's and BIL's ears with any kind of dirt..

So all in all,things are going fine-not 100% as I would want them to be but ok..

But ladies,I am not able to forget the past incidents-the acts of selfishness played by MIL and SIL,the way they used to spread wrong things,the way my MIL is so biased towards SIL,the fact that despite doing all the duties I am never treated at par with SIL etc..

Sometimes these pangs of sadness and anger do crop up.

Especially the fact that MIL took away half of my jewellery and said that she'll give it later.I know its never coming back.It was just an eye wash.I am not a very big jewellery lover but MIL's act left a deep scar on my mind and heart.She pretends as though nothing happened and behaves all coochy coo.. But she got all she wanted and everything is again to normal-like nothing happened at all.Whenever I mention this to DH,he keeps quiet.Even when I say how hurt I am because I am the last in the favourite list-he keeps quiet-doesn't even ensure me..

I am earning-i know I can make much more jewellery but I want to sometimes scream and tell my MIL how bad she has been.And how it hurts that despite of your wrong doings,I have to take care of her and her selfish daughter.

Yes,my self respect is much more than asking her again for that chunk of jewellery but i just can't forget it..

Today was such a day when everything came rushing in front of my eyes-my brother's wife was showing me the kundan set got from my mom on her child birth and I felt such a sharp pain in my heart because my MIL gave me nothing-rather took away half of what I already had.. And she chose the perfect time for that-my pregnancy,when I could not even fight.. And she didn't even say it openly that she was taking it away for good-she said,"its yours and I'll give it to you on appropriate moment".. I felt like giving away everything and also telling her to give away all the property too(anyways who knows if we ever get any share in that..Havent got any till now..She might give it all to SIL only)..Atleast if she says this thing in open,we'll be relieved from our duty to serve SIL and her like donkeys..

She is not ashamed about it and the family(including my DH) have so conveniently forgotten about it..

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Can't forget and forgive!!