I guess it is contradicting, in the sense that I myself do not know what I want, whether to break all my ties with my past and forge new ties. (With regard to my work and personal life). That is where I found that IL was helpful to me. It allowed me to talk to people about such matters as ‘Cuddle or muddle’, ‘Pencil pouches’ and other things like poetry, relationship with in-lwas and husbands etc.,
Around family and friends, one has to be prim and proper, both in attire and talks. And you cannot for a second drop your guard, especially if both your in-laws, parents and relatives live in the same city and very near each other. If for example, I go to my parents house with a normal face, I mean without smiling all time, my mom will think that my in-law are not treating me well and vice-versa. In fact if I do not go to my relatives house with my DH and go alone, then all tongues will be wagging, ‘I told you there is something wrong between the two and blah blah’. Since me and my DH work in the same office, ours is like a 24x7 relationship, wherein I am constantly under scanner. If I am on toes right from morning 6 till 730 pm in the evening and want to rest in the evening when I come home saying I am having a headache, my DH says ‘what rubbish, in the office you were all active and as soon as you come home you are doing this drama so that you escape the cooking’.
You won’t believe it folks, sometimes the sheer exertion of life has made me cry in the privacy of the bathroom and come out hiding my tears, by washing my face. Amidst all my relatives and friends, I found myself alone. I wanted a break from all this, a place where I can be myself and vent out my feelings or discuss things which are related to me or sometimes not evenly remotely connected to me.
Then I thought of social media, wherein I can befriend people who are out of my comfort zone. But this idea is full of dangers and risk, and my case should not be something like ‘OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND INTO THE FIRE’. Take for example, FACE BOOK. Frankly speaking I do not have a facebook account but I have peeped into my DH’s facebook account. And LO! What do you have over there, the very same friends, relatives or colleagues whom you want to distance yourself from. Face book throws a list of people whom they think you want to talk to or respond to, based on your profile. It is like talking to your friends in the open privacy of the internet, where every TOM, DICK AND HARRY can assess and judge you. So if you tell so and so should have done this and not that, everybody who know you, will be thinking HA HA! ‘website pe badi sayani ban rahi hai!’ or such other things. I do not have any knowledge whatsoever about other such sites, so no comments about them.
That is where IL figured in. I am able to talk and post my replies on any subject I want to, without worrying about whether I am contradicting myself. For example, In personal life I might not want to say don’t buy a gift to your MIL on her Birthday, because for obvious reasons that it will come back to her and DH. But in this forum I can talk what I deeply feel and not put on a mask on my feelings. Heck when you guys and gals cannot even see how I look, where is the need for me to hide my feelings or inhibitions.
In IL I can write my reply on ‘Vishwa Roopam’ without my DH saying ‘what is this you are becoming so spiritual’ or ‘your age is not for talking about spirituality’. (My DH did comment that I had become spiritual when I told him that I am reading a book on Swami Vivekananda.) When in IL I posted about using lemon juice daily, I instantly got a reply that using lemon juice darkens the face so try avoid using it daily. And this was from complete strangers. Whereas in my house, when one day in summer I had dressed up to go for a wedding, all my make up had caked out due to the sweat, nobody in the house, neither my MIL or my DH commented about it, with the result that I went to the function like a made up queen.
There are many such small things in life, which I am sure others also would have faced and which when added up makes life a little bitter. And one more selfish reason I like IL is that I can satisfy my urge for writing for whatever it is worth. It is not like writing your views to a newspaper or a periodical and hoping that it may get published. In the newspaper also, my favorite page is the editorial section, because you can read others views on the happenings of the world, I think there is a lot of difference in reading the facts and reading the analysis about the said facts. Maybe the analysis are biased, but again this is where IL scores over the newspaper editorial section. Here you can read different views and analysis on a very simple or a complex subject. And not to forget the more important urge of every woman, that is ‘GOSSIPPING’. We ladies can gossip about anything and everything, be it the in-laws, or our children, our dress, home and what not.
Maybe you might think, it is a very short association of mine with Indus Ladies to write about IL, but I felt that I should convey what I feel and think and that is ‘Thank you IL for introducing me to your world’.
My personal opinion about IndusLadies
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