Love…..before and after marriage…..

Today I was prompted to write and share on “Marriage” that either begets or forgets “Love”.

It was just another day at work and it so happened I got a ping (message) from an old friend-colleague of mine. She is due to deliver in another two weeks, and our conversations revolved on some regular topics, before there was a speed breaker. She mentioned that “All is not well” and she is not happy…and she is going through a tough time. Weighing her current situation, I presumed or silently prayed and wished that it is nothing to do with the baby…and hoped that was not the cause of concern. Luckily she said No – it was not the child she is expecting that is worrying her…but her “Husband”. I was taken back thinking am I reading this right?? This was a couple who were in a courtship for close to 3 years…and then defied all the problems that arose from inter-caste, inter-city, and what not….a couple who look terribly and strikingly good together….a couple who work in the same organization….a couple who broadcast every tiny-winy activity of their life on Facebook

My first question was – What happened?? Did you guys pick a fight??? NO, NO came her response…so I ended up guessing all the normal Q’s that anyone tends to ask under such a circumstance. Then came a response, he is not the same, he is not the same person that I fell in love with…he has changed, nothing is like before, I am all alone, he is not helping me with anything even though I am due in the next few days. Initially I brushed it off while she was rattling knowing some quarrels are common, and it won’t be long before one kiss and hug would make it all “Gone with the Wind”. But unfortunately know, it was more than that…talking over the phone there was more to the story that told.

The not so good situation suffices for the title….Having had an arranged marriage with lesser trouble and confusion, I consider myself as those lucky ones who has a blessed life with different set of problems than with spouse and family. It is just sad to know and see that not just friends, but either the folks in office or acquaintances talk on similar lines that “Everything is different/changed after marriage”. I wonder why, what invokes this feeling, where did the love that once blossomed fade, why are there doubts after you have made a decision to live together…what happens to the struggle, the emotional blackmails, fights, even love that leads to eloping just to get “Married”.

Waiting, talking over phone and sms all night, flowers, coffee, holding hands, promises and vows – Where and why do they vanish after marriage Yes of course, nothing lasts for ever, people need to grow up and get responsible and make a life and living. Honeymoon last just for days or maybe weeks not after that…but why does not love sustain?? Is it because of the fast forward life that lovers indulge in that their meet time before they know it. Threats are made by the couple if they are separated, some end lives taking a hasty decision. All this circus, sorry to call it that way before marriage but why not after. I am not angered as such knowing this happens…just sad that why people do not value time and life…it’s one life you get to live why not make and live to do the right things. Why think that “I” fell into a trap, I was blind, I was cheated….

The word “Love” takes a back seat for such couples, and converts to not even a “Like” …..There could be various reasons, and more could be to such stories than what meets the eye, still. The ratio of success and failure can be 50-50, just can’t say.

Life is what we make of it…well hoping and wishing for a “Happy Ending” to all, after all it’s just one “Life”

Love…..before and after marriage…..