Crying: Life

Hi Ladies,

Wanted to share this and get it out of my breast.

I am in my thirties, working, with a toddler. Only daughter, love marriage, busy husband, lost dad some time back. My mom lives with us.

My in-laws were OK (parents in law too old) though they always isolated me subtly. I feel I was treated very formally always. And had no say in their affairs whereas as the other DIL and my SIL had more freedom. My husband never fully agreed and though he never blamed me for anything.

My SIL has been quite OK and I had no problems with her. For the last few months, she has been playing at my back. She called up my husband to meet an old friend (lady) of theirs, behind my back, which did not look lady like to me. I had to be told too. It was obvious and even my husband understood it. When we visit them, they [BIL, SIL and Co-Sis in a group] ignored me and walked away. When I mentioned this, my husband said he never felt it! He simply did not wnat to admit it. They boycotted our kid's birthday. And then it was all crystal clear now. They wished only my husband on our anniversary.

One day she rang her bro up and asked him to go out with her to talk. I was there around and when my husband passed the phone over to me she refused and began to blast at me. So I asked why was she playing at my back! I also gave examples. She shouted at me and I hung up. She even mentioned my personal affair which was no business of hers.

It did hurt me a lot. But I don't expect anything from them. They are nobody to me in reality. I just press IGNORE DELETE buttons in my mind. My SIL sent a long mail with the whole of the family in CC. It was a justification mail - I did this because you did this. I said this because you said this. I felt humiliated reading it because it basically served to show me as a bad character to all those who did not know anything about the background. My In Laws then invited us for dinner and behaved dramatically well. My husband forced me to go. I hated it. I ignored them. I couldn't eat. I couldn't believe that this would get things settled and make a happy new world for me/us.

What hurts me is that I quarelled with my husband on this several times. He hates talking about this. Hence the quarrel. He says, I am not bothered about his feelings. He is not ready to react to them. He said he can't. He doesn't accuse or blame me too. He looks miserable.

It pained me further. I have started feeling aloof with him. It takes effort now. I cry when I am alone. I feel I made a wrong decision in life. I can't handle so much inside me.

I have a small baby. I have an aging mother. I am so much alone.

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Crying: Life