I am confused.. Please advise..

Hi All,

Sorry for the long post.

I am 25 years old, married 3 years back and have a 2 year old son. My husband is 32 years old. Me and my husband are software engineers. But DH is veryyyyyyy orthodox. As a person my DH is good but won’t help me in any of household work. He won't have time in the morning with his pooja and all. He is lazy to bring the groceries from outside. Just postpones everything. He won’t eat outside food. So we didn’t go to any places outside the city till now. Mostly we go for movies except one or 2 places in the same city. And he has a habit of pointing out each and every thing in me. For example he puts an irritating face and comments about my face like you have all pimples and marks now a days, not taking care of your face. For your own face also I need to observe and tell you. With job and kid I won’t get much time to apply anything to face and he won’t like if I go to parlor.

He needs all the things in perfect way. Food should be very tasty all the days. But most of the times he won’t like it. I also eat the same food, it is not so bad as he said but ok for me. He points out my dressing also that your neck is deep, don’t wear duppatta one side., etc. but my colleagues and friends says that I will ready like a 40 year old girl. You have a perfect physic and fair complexion but you won’t utilize it. Before marriage I used to wear Jeans but it is out of scope now. He won’t even like if I leave my hair, I need to plait it. He finds mistakes in all the things I do and creates a scene and compares with other women in his office or neighbors. I will ask to compare all the qualities with only one person so that we will get to know who is more perfect but he won’t do that. Takes one from each. They may be best in that particular thing and I am poor in that but I have many in which I am best. He never appreciates me for the good things I have done. There was a miscommunication with my IL’s and they have stopped talking to both of us. So they won’t give any advice or suggestions.

Compared to my friends I got married little early and I didn’t get a chance to visit any places and I didn’t love any one before marriage so I have small wishes that he need to express his love and give some surprises but he won’t do any of these. I thought if I start doing then he may express his feelings but he expresses very rarely and he also feels that I need to initiate the s**. We had fights for that also.

2 weeks back we had a big fight that I am spending more money now a days. I have bought one mobile, 3 dresses of worth not even 10,000 total (7k mobile +(1k+1k+700)dresses). He also says that we are not rich enough to send our son to a school charging 50k per year. Argument started here only. I said that we both are earning and 50k per year is not a matter that too for our son. I t leaded to a big fight and he said if you want to spend like this and live luxurious life then go to your home and do whatever you want there. Then I said ok and he dropped me at my parents place @ 12.30am night and left without even coming inside. Before also he said the same thing like go to your home many times but I was telling that this is only my home and I won’t go anywhere but this this time I was in no mood to stay there. After 1 week I only called him and had some discussion that forget everything and we were fine and I have asked him when can I come to our home then he said that there are some arguments are going on with my IL’s. so not sure whether they will be here or goes to village. So it will be a problem for our son so stay there only for some more days. I said ok. And today we again fight about the same school topic. I am not getting any interest to go there. But my parents health is not good so it’s difficult for them to take care of my son and they are worrying about me.

I was reading all the posts in married life section and thinking that there are many women who are in worst situations than me. I am better compared to them so I used ignore all these and stay with my DH only but I am not feeling like that now. I am in confusion whether to call him and patch up or leave it and stay with my parents only. What should I do.. Please advise..

Thanks in advance…

-Krishna Sudha

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I am confused.. Please advise..