I have a friend who has recently move to my city. He used to be my ex some 10 years ago. Even when we had a relationship it was long-distance and this relationship did not go beyond some phone calls and texts. It was nothing but puppy love. We broke up after 6-7 months. He married and has a cute girl baby.
I never bothered because I was quite young (18) then and I didn't really get involved with him emotionally or anything. So no big deal for me.
We have kept in touch over the years - not on a daily basis or anything. But once in a while we chat on facebook - maybe once in 10 months or something. Just hi-bye relationship.
Recently when I went to Chennai, I met him for coffee and we caught a movie. I had no idea that he didn't inform his wife about it. My DH knew this and was v cool about the whole thing. We are just friends now.
But then 2 days later, I wanted to ask him how much to pay for ticket and tried to send message on FB and found he had unfriended me.
When asked about it I found that his wife's colleague saw him with me in theatre and told the wife. Wife fought and went to her mom's house in Pune taking their daughter. I was shocked!
In fact I told him to bring his wife also when going out. He said he is coming straight from office so cant bring her. I didn't think anything of it.
I told my DH all this and he said that it was not my fault and it's between husband and wife and there was nothing I could do.
Recently this guy moved to London. He is alone now and I think v bored and lonely. He is always asking me to meet and always messaging me. He visited our home few times. DH and I hung out with him and went for dinner with him a few times also. Now DH left to India. I am by myself here. How can I cut him off politely? I dont want him to think that I am being rude and forgotten our long friendship.
Why I want to cut him off
1. I think his wife wont like it. So I am skeptical to meet him alone without DH
2. I don't really connect with him in terms of how we think anymore. We have both changed a lot over the years. I still keep in touch only for old times sake.
3. I have other things to do - I am really busy during the week and only get weekends to relax
I don't mind meeting maybe once every few months. But he wants to hang out a LOT and I have been avoiding him giving lame excuses. I feel bad about lying and think why should I lie when the reality is I am not really interested in meeting him. I lie because I dont want to make him feel like I am avoiding him. In reality, that is exactly what I want to do. I dont want to hurt him.
I can understand that someone who moved to new city can feel extremely lonely and he does not have too many friends here. But, should I go out of my comfort zone to meet him?
What do you think ladies?
How to cut off this guy?
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