dealing with hurt

Hello,

I hope all you experienced ladies can help me.

I got married almost 2 years ago. My inlaws stay with us. Since the wedding time, my in laws have been harassing me. Some examples:

1. before and around the wedding time, anytime I met my in laws and my parents are not around, she used to drop subtle hints of the kind of gifts she was expecting from my parents by bringing up casual conversation with my husband/sister in law such as "do you remember we gave such and such gift to our dear daughter...or these days people give xyz when daughters get married."

2. she wanted all my jewelry after wedding that parents gave me for 'safe keeping', but I stayed firm and opened my own locker

3. in laws did not give me any wedding gifts, but had lot of criticism for stuff that my parents gave her and to me.

4. I work, but I also have to be the one to cook dinner as her highness is too tired to cook, but she will go to her daughters place occasionally and has lot of energy and ability to cook. At home, she is supposedly never well.

5. always remembers ocassions when girls parents are supposed to gift and will drop ample of hints on the amount she is expecting but will forget ocassions such as when in laws should gift DIL such as diwali.

6. Will say numerous lies to cause fights between DH and me.

7. MIL will call her relatives and bad mouth me. But when she has work, she will suddenly turn sweet.."Beta, kaisi ho, etc" is always followed by some work she has.

8. In laws will criticize my cooking, as a conversation with each other. "something tastes wierd about this food na..." even when I am around. But they will still eat plate after plate of the food.

FIL was verbally abusive and used to shout at me on many occassions.

Due to all this, I have emotionally distanced from them and say one word answers if asked anything. I am new to london so trying to make friends and build social life with other people here.

Initially, DH blindly supported his parents. But after proving numerous times how they lie, etc he will occassionally listen to me now. When yet another incident happens, he will say he feels bad for me. But after some days he will start pestering me again to mend things with his parents.

I am confused. If he understands and acknowledges, they have hurt me, why is he pestering me to spend time/talk to them. Also, every few days I remember how they hurt me and caused many fights between DH and I and made me feel lonely when I was brand new in London. I feel strong some days and some days i break down when I remember these incidents. How do you ladies cope?

dealing with hurt