Career Vs Family

Off late, I find there is no meaning in my career growth. I am losing interest both in my career and the money that I earn because I feel I am able to win both of them at the cost of losing my own family and happiness.

I read a status in the FB sometimes back, since then I am confusing...

It stays " I was dying to finish school, then I was dying to get a degree, then I was dying to get a job, I was dying to earn and I was dying to live a decent life... Now that I was actually dying, and lately realized that I forgot to live my life.

See, I have been a diligent student, staff and a responsible woman all throughout my life. Responsibilities have never been a burden to me, as I usually enjoy taking them. My handwork and responsibilities were highly paid off so far. However, I badly miss my family, the happiness, the kids and their initial stages of life.

Now that, I am being the primary bread-winner in my family. Not that my husband stays at home. He works, we have a business that he takes care of. But my salary is much higher and reliable source of our income.

I have a couple of EMIs that eats almost 1/2 of my salary.

Then I have 2 maids and a guard. It is very expensive here to keep maids and guards. They eat almost 1/4 of my salary and then the associated transport and boarding fees (whenever I had to stay out of home) and all that makes me empty handed at the end of the day.

Our family's regular expenses run only through my husband's earning and it is sufficient enough so far.

Initially I was posted in a much higher position than this. Earning a lot, but after my son was born, I could no longer take this responsibility that requires a lot of travelling and stay over trips to all over the world. That was an internationally recruited position.

After resigning from there, I took over this national position (much lower to my previous post) due to some pressing financial need (That time I wasn't good terms with my H, thus needed a job for my survival). Again it took me some 3 years to reach where I was before.

However, now with my second child, I feel I can't no longer go where I wanted to be in my career. It takes more of my as a professional, by leaving only a little for the family.

Reason:

The post is in city A, which is 2.5 hr drive one way from my city/home (I start at 6 am, and come home at 7 pm or later only)

The post requires twice a month travelling to Maldives and India, so more often than not I had to stay outside of home by leaving the kids alone with mom/H

Lot of learning needs, lot of competition and lot of work pressure to handle

But it is a permanent, and pensionable highly paid job.

This career has given me a name, made me powerful and a recognition for all my hard-work.

Option 1:

I must stay in city A, visit family on weekends

Pros: Less transport expenses, less tiring long journey, more time to work

Cons: Missing the family, more work and responsibility to my mother (who babysits), more spending on additional maids and guard on my absense (as H won't stay at home all the time either (Business reasons))

Option 2:

Apply for an international position which allows family to come with me

Pros: Can live together, spend a lot of time with family, high salary, lot of savings...

Cons: Will miss H, will miss my new home, and the home will lose its charm when no one lives there

International posts pay higher salary, but no job security.. Hard to get selected

Option 3:

Apply for local positions. No chance to meet the status of my present post, leave alone career growth

Pros: Can stay with kids, teach them, and spend a lot of time with them as they grow and need me

Work time 9.00 am to 4.30 am (in between 30 mins lunch). Kids school and my home is around the corner, so I can pay frequent visit to home if required.

Give some rest for mom, no need for additional maids, less expenses, guards (as I will stay at home at night), can manage the home, maintain its charm, be with H often, concentrate on business, be with extended families, free life etc..etc..

Cons: less salary (almost 1/2 of what I get), less recognition career wise

I personally think of option 3, because this is what seeded into my head by my mom and H during all the discussions. They believe as a mom I should prioritize my family over my career. I tend to accept this now.

If so, I must pay off my loans and EMIs right now from whatever my savings (jewels). Send off a maid and a guard home. No long transportation. Lots of savings from many ends thus less income won't affect. In fact, I could save something unlike now.

No tiresome long trips daily, no crying mom and kids, etc..etc...

Also, I can keep on applying international post till I get my preferred one.

However, the thought of going back to the same post what I was having some 10 years back as my first career is killing me inside.

But again, when I think of living with kids, enjoying their childhood, and being there for their needful time is like applying some pain-killers.

I think, as a women, we can't have it all.

Staying at home is not in my head, because it means putting a full stop for my career.

What is your suggestion my dears????

Career Vs Family