“Yes Mama”
“Close your eyes, take a deep breath and chant “Suit boot sarkar” for an hour.’
“Gee mama, can’t I chant RTI? It is shorter and easier to remember”.
“No RTI is out of fashion as is Women’s Empowerment. You need a new catchphrase to parrot everywhere”
“Okay mama. Here I go. “Beetroot sarkar, beetroot sarkar, beet…..”
“Not beatroot stupido!!!! It is “Suit boot. You can’t record such a simple term in your mind?
Despite the tough time I had making you memorize “Women’s empowerment” I am still trying! At time I despair about my own optimism”.
"Don’t despair ma’am. It took months but he ultimately managed to learn “RTI and Women’s Empowerment” He will learn this too.”
“Thanks Diggy uncle, for your faith in me.. I will start all over again. ‘ Rootshoot stalker, rootshoot….”
“Suit boot sarkar stupido!!!!!!!!”
“Aw comeon mama. It takes time to memorize such difficult complex concepts, no?”
“Difficult concept indeed. Very difficult. I really worry how I can leave our family property sorry party in your hands”
“ If you guys leave me alone.mayy be I can then memorize coot foot….”
“Can’t you even understand suit boot?”
“Whatever. Just leave me alone will you”?
”Alright . Let us see what comes out of it”
**********
“Ma’am we are in trouble. Deep trouble”
“So what’s new Diggy?”
“He is going around chanting ‘ loot scoot sarkar” I suspect he might be talking about our government that went out of power last year. Such chants might make skeletons come tumbling out of our closets.”
“Already enough skeletons have come out. So should we really bother?”
“Let us at least try to keep the remaining skeletons in the closet.. So instead of teaching him such phrases why not ask MMSji to hold classes on maintaining silence.?
"The crown prince just smiles, and waves his hands like demented car wipers. His silence will give the deceptive impression to people that there is something profound about him”
“That won’t work Diggy. You see, the stupid people of this country won’t care for a leader who can’t throw around extravagant promises and come up with interesting catchphrases.. I am thinking of sending him on a trip to southeast Asia.”
”He he, Great massage parlours ma’am”.
“Not to massage parlours but to a meditation centre. Where experts will make him meditate for about a couple of months on ‘suit boot sarkar’ Of course we run the risk of the experts tearing their clothes and running on the streets in a burst of insanity but we have no alternative”.
**********
(After about a couple of months)
“Welcome back figlio mio. Hope you have had a great learning experience”
“Suit boot sarkar”.
“Hope you haven’t forgotten me in two months. Do you remember me?”
“Suit boot sarkar!”
“Sir I am not suit boot sarkar but Diggy, your humble boot licker oops sorry foot soldier.”
‘Let him go in. He must be tired. He looks dazed”
(After sometime).
“Mama this is too much Bro came in and called Robert “Suit boot sarkar”. Robert was really hurt. Granted there is an element of truth in what bro says but that doesn’t mean he has to rub it in”.
“Relax figlia mia. Your brother is so possessed by the phrase that he kept calling the servant who came to serve food ‘suit boot sarkar’ and that poor chap has given notice in sheer desperation”
“How do we get him out of this state? Should we call a shrink/”
“No I have another idea. Whenever he utters that phrase counter him with ‘RTI’ and ‘Women’s Empowerment’. May be that would work and bring him out of this dazed state”.
And that reportedly worked. Though I don’t know how it all ended it is clear that the ending was a happy one. We keep hearing that phrase but only the government and the ruling party are targeted. Ah All is Well That Ends Well.
.(Glossary for Italian challenged : Figlio: (Son), Figlia:( Daughter). Stupido (Obviously stupid).
The Suit Boot Meditation
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