I am writing on the site after a real long time. It's not like I had no problems all this while, it was just that I was in self-assessing/ leave-it-to-the-universe-to-sort-it-out mode. Not any longer because I fear I may have let things reach too far to control and so rushed here now to seek advice.
My SIL is of my age. Our kids were born less than two years apart, go to the same school & after-school activities. Both the kids are smart & are doing very well in their respective assignments. I guide her kid & she guides mine in areas that are our respective fortes. So far so good.
I had a whiff that she talks rubbish about me behind my back. She is of those types who are always interested in other people's personal affairs and who have to pass on the information to everyone without even verifying if what they have heard is right or wrong. She doesn't share this gossip much with me but I have witnessed her gossiping with our mutual friends/ relatives very often. I am a lady of few words and so my reaction of smiling & nodding to most stories told to me does not encourage her (or others ) much. The negative aspect of this is that I am the last one to know about any happening around. Anyway.
The other day, 4 of us & our relatives had gone for shopping. 2 of us were walking in front & 2 behind. A little before that we had shopped at a shop where the owners speak English with an American accent. So this SIL was completely quiet our entire time there. I responded to the questions & the owners complimented me on being one of the very few people who make entire conversations with them! SIL was smiling the entire time & so I thought she was happy with me/ the situation.
Immediately after we stepped out of the shop, she and another senior lady of our family (who is very fond of me) lagged a little behind us. There was noise of traffic and so SIL may have thought that that noise will drown her loud animated voice! But I overheard everything! :( She actually said, " did you see how she was chatting with the men there? She never talks so much with anyone else. So why was she so friendly with these guys now? I wonder if she visits the shop when she is shopping alone. Why else would the guys be so friendly with her otherwise? I would never have done such a thing. DILs of good respected families never indulge in such frivolous behaviour!"
I was shocked! I held back my tears but didn't say a word because I can not confront anyone easily. :( I was upset with her so for the next few days I have been either avoiding her or talking to the point. She has apparently guessed that I overheard it & that I am obviously upset.
Today evening, we will be meeting for the first time after this incident to take our kids for some activity. We will be in each others' sole company for quite some time. Should I continue to show my displeasure or forgive her and move on? Please guide me friends.
P.S. 1) She is not aware that Americans/ Indians who have lived in US are generally friendly by nature.
2) This is not the first time she has done such a thing & I am sure not the last even!
Thank you in advance dear friends. Please reply ASAP.
Handling hypocrisy (back biting) by SIL
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