How should I reply to this?

My MIL is straight out of the TV serials.She keeps saying everything in indirect manner and you know with the crooked yet sugar coated words.. I am quite a straight forward person.Generally I keep quiet or reply in monosyllables but this lady just gets on my nerves.

Some examples-

1.I have cooked a new dish which has turned out to be really yummy.While eating,DH will appreciate.

MIL(to DH)-"You know,your sister is so fond of cooking.She makes new stuff everyday.Infact she never repeats school tiffin for her kids in 15 days..

2. DH and I are working for 2 sister concerns and hence a lot of get togethers and parties are common.A few days back,they felicitated some employees for good sales etc..DH and I both got awarded.For me,it was more special because I achieved it with a toddler.

DH was showing those pics at home and was so proud of me and kept saying that.

MIL saw the pics with such a saddened and a near dead face.Not even a single compliment.All she could comment was-"your colleagues are really thin"

And she kept saying how good and smart her son looked..

Spoiled my mood for the day.I know it shouldn't have had but I felt so unwanted-my family really keeps me and DH both on same platform.They are as appreciative of him as I am..

3.She indirectly keeps telling so many stories.

A friend say X of hers-her sons are in USA-both married.This lady X is old now.Maybe the DILs and MIL don't get along well together.X stays in India with her H.They are well off.Both sons help monetarily.A few days back,X fell down.Sons and DILs came to India for a month.

Now my MIL takes out this topic and in front of me and DH keeps mentioning how they are the bad sons and DILs,how they should have either stayed here or taken MIL with them or the DIL should have stayed(the one who is not working)..I didn't say anything for a couple of times.But she brings up the topic every second day saying-"kya zamaana aa gaya hai..Budhe ma bad ki koi such line wall nahi hai..Humne to ape time par tine sea ki,alkali to bacche bahut swarthy ho gaye hai..etc etc"(By the way she hasn't visited her own old MIL for a decade now..All she does is-tells sons to send money to her)

Now yesterday I could not keep quiet any longer. I told her-"it is not right to expect children to leave their careers and stay back.We don't know what are their interpersonal relations"

She snapped-"but then where will old parents go if none takes care?"

I again kept quiet because I didn't want to extend this further..

4.She'll also bring such imaginary cases where brothers don't take care of sisters and how it is their dharma

5.She'll keep praising SIL and her kids.Even with my one year old DD-how SIL's kids started walking and talking so early,how they are perfect kids etc..I am tired now..

DH takes a stand and mends her but how many times can someone do it?

She stays most of the time with us.It starts from breakfast and continues till we sleep..

How to reply to her?

I have tried everything-blank stares,monosyllabic replies..

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How should I reply to this?