The other day I wanted get a test done, for sugar, for I was feeling very thirsty at night and lips were dried, and had to get up a few times to sip water, so I thought they were signs of diabetes, so I thought I better get it checked up.
So I called over the lab fellow, he charges 150 bucks to come home and collect blood. If I have to get my stool and urine tested, he does not have to take that out, that I do, but he wont take it to the lab, even though they are in bottles, he says u go give it at the lab. Then what use to call him eh !
But he is a blood sucker, he comes for the blood. So as I gave my blood, my wife too was in a generous mood to donate her blood, she thought I am giving it for some needy person. Well she wanted her cholesterol done,just bcs he had come home. I told her don’t waste money, you are fine . But well , her argument is, if u can give blood so can i. HAHA
My blood sugar fasting came to 124 , which the doc said is borderline, so go off sugars for a few weeks, then we see. My wife, got her bad cholesterol figure at 225, when the upper limit is 175. I told her not to worry, but worry she did and went down the lane to the doc, to chew his head up.He smiled and said, madam relax, this is nothing.
You know a few years back the first time I had my cholesterol tested for a lark, it came to 500 ! my wife was shocked, and this family doc, said nothing to worry Kamal, for one month , reduce alcholol by a peg, from 4 papads a day come down to 1, walk from 20 to 40 minutes, and so on. Avoid red meat, but eat fish and chicken and eggs as much as u want. And if the cholesterol does not come down in a month, well I will have to put u on a life long tablet.
Wife was not satisfied and took me a heart specialist.He too smiled and said yr family doc said right, and ur husband can eat lots of fish, which is good for him.
After a month, I tested again, and lo, my cholesterol came down to 150, my family doc was so happy, he said I did not believe u could do it,but u did. Wife was unhappy, bcs I had continued with my liquor, ciggies,and nonveg. Well u cant please the ladies can u.
In between I got in the good habit of eating the right things, and I lost weight, looked better, and now I had a spring in my walk, and maybe looked better, for I could see eyes turning towards me, and I felt nice. I went and bought a few T shirts, a size smaller, and that felt nice.
Now coming to this compunder, he suddenly raised his charges from 100 to 150, last year, when petrol was 80 and onions were 60. Now petrol is 60 and onions are 15 and I told him to reduce, but he has the standard formula, sir , things are so expensive. So nowadays I go to the lab to give blood, the lab charges 60, so how does it makes sense to pay 150 to the compounder. It is 3 kms away from home, so the 6 kms car pretrol would be like 50 bucks, and hours time, which is fine, for I am retired, so time is of no concern.
My family doctor is very disciplined. He wont accept mithai, or anything, goes for walk at 5, had loads of money, wont drink liquor, or smoke. I just don’t know what is he living for ? God gives money to the wrong people eh ! Money is , comfort, comfort is, to sleep in the blanket in these winters, maybe with yr arm around yr wife, rather than waking up at that unearthy hour, to go for a walk.Yech !
And to deny yourself the good things of life, the wines and chocolates, and liquors, what kind of alife is that eh ! Though to me he does not say anything, I think he is very fond of me. When there are no patients, he makes me sit for a long time, and we discuss cricket, politics and other matters, and even when patients come, he tells me sit down if u aer not in a hurry, so I sit down, for I have nothing to do .
From his viewpoint I am all opposite of what he is. But he does not advise me too much, he knows I am like a duck, all water will just flow off my back, and when harsha complains to him about my habits, u pacifies her, and gives her examples of other patients worse off than me, those that beat their wives, who drink an fall in the lanes, to show her that kamal yr husband is an angel, don’t trouble him.
So don’t mind going to him often, for he makes me feel good, so what is a little fees for that. He is much cheaper than a shrink at 50 bucks a visit eh ! And no he does not read my blogs, so I am rest assured he wont increase his charges, even if I find him cheap.
So now I am off sugars, well sometimes I sneak in a choc or two, hence now u see my blogs are notas sweet as before, for ia moff sugars. So wait for my sweet blogs very soon as my new results come, which I will take day after, the fasting and the after food one. So now the doc will pronounce his judgment tht I am to continue taking sugars or stop. Lets see what the future, sorry the sugars fortell eh !
HAHA
KAMAL MAHTANI
Hilarious Apology Letter.....
A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing...
Deer sur,
If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker.
This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun.I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave birth to my sun.
Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun.
Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life. I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint first. I am now ending this fastly.
I am a waiter for your responsement. May god blast you.
English RIP😂
Dear Government,
Kindly consider Woman shopping bills as an investment proof.
From
Helpless Man
😞😜
Husband throwing Darts at his wife's photo and not even a single one hits the Target. 🎯
From another room wife asks the husband :
"What are u doing?"
Husband :"MISSING YOU"😜🎯
Lady told the Advocate:
I want to marry my ex-husband again.
Advocate asked lady:
Why, last month only you got the divorce
Lady told advocate:
After divorce he is very happy and I cannot tolerate this.😂😂
A Chinese man married an African woman and had a child.
Two months later the child passed away.
At the funeral house, the African woman ke.pt sobbing and saying: "I KNEW IT !!! I KNEW IT !!!"
A family member pulled her aside and asked:
"What did you know?"
She replied: "That, Chinese products don't last long!!"
Cholesterol my friend
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