Negative attachments!

I wake up, not earlier than my usual time. Today I want to sleep in, and then again, I want to be up as well. Week after week running the mileage of a half marathon is no fun, at least all the time. Most days I do want to run but the little jitters, the nervousness is always there no matter what. That is the thing with this running - it never lets you take it for granted. Haven't I heard enough stories? Just thinking of the miles makes me want to go hide under the covers. Yet I want to run. But I want 'to be up' takes over as soon as I spot that moon in the window. It is full moon and I can feel the soft glow in the entire room. I remember then suddenly that there is an eclipse. I am all excited as I forget the softness of the moon light, the orange moon, the miles I need to cover, my want to sleep in. All I want is to be up and ready. It is one of those days I know will turn into a regret if I sleep in. The regret of 'not doing' has happened so many times that I now no longer want to take chances with that. And how amazing would that be to follow the eclipse as I drive down to meet my running group.

I rush downstairs, make my cup of tea and sit with a book. I open a random page and this is what I read -

I looked at the wisp of a thing, and it looked back at me. I thought it gone, thought an empty place where it was, poured visions of heat rays up at it, asked it to reappear somewhere else and slowly slowly in one minute, in five, in seven, then at last was gone. Other clouds got bigger, mine went away.

“You are not very fast, are you?”. He said.

“That was my first time! I’m just beginning! Up against the impossible….well the improbable, and all you can think to say is I’m not very fast. That was brilliant and you know it!”

“Amazing. You were so attached to it, and still it disappeared for you.”


“Attached! I was whocking that cloud with everything I had! Fireballs, laser beams, a vacuum cleaner a block high….”

“Negative attachments, Richard. If you really want to remove a cloud from your life, you do not make a big production out of it, you just relax and remove it from your thinking. That’s all there is to it!

Whoa!! That is an entirely new spin for me. How many times have I not read this book? Yes, it is the same old Illusions. How many times have I not wondered looking at the clouds playing with them like the way Richard and Shimoda do, not making them disappear of course but only seeing their shapes and making stories up, wondering about where the clouds are headed and then remembering again how Bach talks about them. Have I not memorized his quotes? “A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed...It feels an impulsion...this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.” How wonderful it feels just randomly thinking of the book, the quotes as I watch the skies.

And all I see today is not the clouds or the talk about them. The words that stand out glaringly are 'negative attachment', 'big production' asking me to pay attention to them. I reread the entire conversation, taking note of the words again, speaking them out slowly, clearly and loudly. How did I miss this all these years? But then that has been my experience. We receive only when we are ready. Don't we all know that? As I put the book down, put the tea cup away, assemble my necessities ....nutrition blocks, water, a can of sprite, jacket, gloves, cell phone, car keys, two pain relievers in case I need, a banana, peanut butter sandwich.... my mind does not stop chattering in all it's glory talking with Bach! Mr.Bach why did I always assume attachment with stuff, always thinking of the down side of attachment, how to stay detached but never paying attention to the 'negative attachments" or the intensity of attachment to the negative experiences. How did that happen?

As I drive, trust me when I say this I was so super excited that I was scared of myself. That beautiful orange moon going through that eclipse living through it's cycle of 28 days in more or less 3 hours, the thoughts of attachment well more precisely how attached I am to the negative feelings, the excitement of another long run with this new understanding - it was almost like I found a key to a lock I have been looking for. And why not? What he says is so profound isn't it? Just read it again "Negative attachments, Richard. If you really want to remove a cloud from your life, you do not make a big production out of it, you just relax and remove it from your thinking. That’s all there is to it!" As much as I want to say 'yeah right. Easier said than done, the truth is simply that - just remove it from your thinking and that's all there is to it. Just that it is always going to be 'work in progress'. Really!

Negative attachments!