My mil

Hi,

There is thread regarding Happy relationship with IL's by @Grihani. Mostly we are seeing posts regarding stubborn and irrational ILs.

I had a wonderful relationship with my MIL and all 4 DILs felt very sad when she expired last year same time. I thought of writing about her here and it may give hope for some people that all IL's are not so bad. I would like to share 2 or three incidents which made me respect her.

Our's was a arranged marriage.We lived with PILs for the first 1 year as joint family.Later due to my husband transfer we started living separate.Still they used come and stay with us 3 to 4 months per year.

Generally she will never raise her voice with anyone and will do and follow whatever my FIL tells.But she had stood by us (DIL) whenever there was a need.

Since I am working women generally I will do only the breakfast.Rest of the cooking will be done by MIL only whenever they stay with us.In the evening whenever we return from home she will have some snacks and coffee ready also.

After returning from office I will assist her in the kitchen for dinner.

I was tired and had a head ache one day and I went and took rest in the bed after coming from office .My husband and FIL/SIL were all speaking in the hall when I came from office.I did not assist in the cooking that day and she called me to eat when she sat to eat.My husband asked me why did not you help my mother in cooking.she is working from morning. I was also feeling little guilty.

But my MIL to everybody's surprise asked my husband why are you asking this question only to her.Why did not you ask your sister the same question and what did you do , you came before her did you help me?Why only she should help.Instead of you people expecting her to help you people start doing your own work.If I have any problem with her I will speak to her and she will do the same to me and we are not expecting you to interfere.My husband was like

Also we had our baby after 11 years and till then she never once questioned me regarding the same and she never allowed others also to question me.

And importantly when we decided to adopt she accepted it immediately."Good.You want a child and there are lots of children who want parents,so why not." Her words exactly.My FIL was dead against it.Also I wanted a girl baby and my husband ok either way,but my FIL was not happy with a girl baby,She stood by me like a rock and never allowed my FIL to show his displeasure to me.

I am a vegetarian and my in laws will all eat Non - Veg.But she will never cook Non veg when ever we visit her or she visits us even if my FIL will ask for it.She will just ask my husband/BIL to take him to hotel.

Also my elder BIL is having 2 daughters and when my FIL was advising his son to try for another baby,she stood by elder SIL and did not allow anybody to criticize her.

Due to her we DILs developed a good rapport and she never made us to feel like a outsider.

But she had her moments also.She was sensitive in some areas .She is basically a uneducated lady and her passion is cooking.

So if somebody(FIL/BIL/Husband) praises any of our cooking expect her she will be like be it DILs or DDs she will immediately say why will you not praise them?they are using so much oil/so much masala ect. Seasoning is not proper etc.

From next day we will be banned from the kitchen.We will be

Generally she was a understanding human being and she was like a bridge between us and FIL.

She passed away last year peacefully and we miss her a lot as right now we are not having her to act as inter mediator between us and FIL.

So all MILs are not bad and like my MIL some people are there who are good also.

This is my tribute to her and my way of thanking her for being with me and my husband whenever we needed her.Hope her soul rest in peace.

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My mil