I didnt expect that i would also post my problem hear because i had belief that i can manage patiently my relationship problems with my husband. but now i couldnt.
My husband is good charactered & best professional in his career. but he dont know how to manage things at home but want to command things at home as per his wish. If any thing not happened as per his expectation, he will get irritation & temper. i have fallowing problems....
1. I hired a cook to make my life easy. but there are some differences will com up in taste of food which are adjustable. but my DH is not at all ready to accept that difference. for example he needs hotel biryani taste with one tea spoon oil in biryani. he needs chapathi in very very soft manner with out using oil. he needs 7-8 different items per day(2 items for break fast+4 items for lunch + 2 items for dinner) every day through out the week. but he eats 2-3 spoons only of every item. even if he taken lunch/ dinner outside...he should see same menu for his parents. If any thing missed or need to be adjusted with same curry for lunch & dinner...then he felt very much irritated. When i tried to explain reason for him....he wont listen my words & do back fight with loud voice like.."even though i earned good, i am not getting proper food for my stomach. how unlucky i am...you should manage all things. even though we have cook, i am not getting good food so on...".
2. He would feel irritated if his mother or father doing any house hold works for me. because he is in imagination that when they are staying at his brother's house, with support of DH, his wife(my co-sis) is made them to work at home for her childrens & house holds so on....that's why her mother is getting lot of tiredness & father is getting head ache so on... so they should be treated as Queen & king in my house so that...i should manage all things at home at my own. Am i slave to them? cant they family members in my house to share works at home? He dont have time to share things. but he dont like his parents sharing as well....
when i tried to explain his attitude is wrong in this case...he wont listen. bluntly..he do back fight like...it's your responsibility...they did lot of hard work in their life. it's rest time to them. so we shouldn't make them work. Really it is the first reason to hate him allot in recent days.... they did for co-sis but not for me. but that affects my life?
2. He is busy guy with his office work all times & earning good. so he is expecting to more happiest welcome at home like...his wife should welcome him with smily face & fresh mode.
i did as per his wish when i am single & house wife. but now i am also working woman & mother of 1 yr boy. so by evening i am also tired with dull face & busy with feeding work to baby. so running behind baby with food bowl. later need to clean baby & make him ready for sleep. i have in-laws who are diabetic patients. so after baby work, i am hurrying up to dinner preparation for them when there is no cook. My in-laws are vary lazy persons...they always treat themselves as guests. they will go for evening walk & then tired with that. so taking rest in their room. so no help for me in baby work & dinner preparations. so i am not able to spend my time for him. but he couldn't understand that & keeping his face in irritated mood.
3. He dont like to listen my suggestions & don't like to fallow my decisions. he felt himself as a superior of house & i am slave of him. so i should satisfy all his dreams at home & i don't have right to take decisions as per my wish. if any thing happened as per my wish, he will get mood off. if any thing happened in opposite manner especially in his parents case....then he will get angry on me with out thinking of my situation/ reason. when i tried to explain him...it leads to arguments..so that he may slap as well. by that time...i am like...taking divorce with him so that he can know my value in his life. but again i am adjusting myself by comparing him with other worst husbands in society. i am reading other posts hear as well. so just satisfying/ compromising my self by doing comparison with them
any solutions/ tactics to deal with this type of guy?
he dont have any bad habits. he earns good & manage finance food. he dont say NO for any of my costly wish also.but i couldn't manage some of his negative points in him as like above. He gave 10K /month to me for house hold finance. so his thinking like....i should do as per his wish. if i am not able to do...he wont allow me to go for job. once i finished responsibilities of wife role & mother' role at home then only i have right to think of my career & dreams. other wise i shouldn't. ....to make his dreams true..he is ready to spend money on servants also..but i should manage them at last. finally at home..he is like owner & i am like manager to servants. In-laws are queens & kings.
How to deal with all time tempered husband?
Aucun commentaire:
Enregistrer un commentaire