Arranging a marriage alliance

Its been a little more than 2 years now, since my husband decided its time to look for a bride for our

Younger son, away in the States. He had completed his Masters and settled into his job, paid back the student loan he had taken etc – so we felt its time for him to settle down – he would have a family of his own and would not miss family here too much. As my elder son had chosen his girl himself (It was a love marriage arranged by both the families together ), I was also excited about

Going ahead with choosing a girl for him. With a mother’s pride of having a very eligible boy (to my mind)I decided there would be no problem at all and everything would get settled in a jiffy.

But, I was sadly mistaken.

The first and most important hurdle:

From my son:

(i) Are you trying to fix a child marriage? I am only 25 and feel mentally only 22 or 23 –

Where is the hurry?

He was having a wonderful time concentrating on his job, his outings with friends on weekends,

Their potluck lunches,trekking , visiting places etc and marriage was nowhere in his scheme of things

At the moment.

(ii)Next, blame from husband: He will say things. It is upto us to convince him.

It is our responsibility.

- it i((iii) Then come the horoscopes matching etc - after convincing him that things will not get settled so easily – it could run into years – so he was happy !

(iv) Seems like he took it literally, and if the horoscopes match(which is of no consequence to him) but very important from our point of view, getting them to communicate is another issue altogether. Reasons: Difference in time zones – we are not finding time .

(v) Seeing that he was clearly not interested I had to fight with my husband and decided to not Proceed further till he himself asks us to look out. Hence a gap of 6 months or so and then Again , his father started pressurising both of us to start the search. To be fair to him, he told him he is free to choose whomever he wants – but with Conditions- should belong to Our community only. He than agreed for us to begin the search with the condition that he would want to meet the girl personally, get to know her before agreeing.

(vi) And so the search goes on – with us keeping our fingers crossed on each occasion that he wants to communicate with a girl – and then continuing when he/they decide not to go ahead.

Meantime, keeping other proposals in waiting, frustrations of not being able to give a definitive reply either way etc .

In sum, Arranging an ‘ arranged marriage’ – is not as simple as it was in our times, where once horoscopes were matched, and family particulars exchanged, the girl seeing was just a formality and it was taken for granted that the alliance is finalised – unless something drastic had occurred.

You Might Find These Useful:

Arranging a marriage alliance