I have been married 8 years with 4 year old son,my Dh is a good father no doubt,It was an arrange dmarriage ,I hail froma a middle class indian family where my father was never responsible and my mom was never strong,My parents always fought ,I had a terrible childhood where my father was a arrongant individual who would not listen to anyone,he did some businesses and we incurred financial losses and he left us and went to underground for 5 years,My mom and me and brother went to grand parents house to stay,My mom ahd a job with which she gave us good studies,we always had money problems,long story short she did her best to give us education and i got married to DH ,we have a age gap of 7 years,He also had a bad childhood and we bothe struggled after marriage to get t stage where we are now,We are settled in US with a son and have a place called home,
I never liked this person when i wa sgettign married but i had to because i could not see going againist my mom who has already lost in life due to my father ,Her self esteem is low that she has become so quiet and has become a puppet and pulled me into this marriage since my uncle brought this alliance,My husband is a good provider thou i was not happy i made my mind up and started to give a meaning to this relationship,I worked allot in my career to get to where i am now,Now let me explain where i stand now
My husband thou he was/is a good person,does all his responsibilities and have helped me to build myself he has got allot of anger,he was chain smoker which he gave up after i gave him allot of ultimatums,Since last 3 years he has got addicted to alcohol,he does not listen to his parents and he does not care my parents or my brother because he think he has made a big favour by marryin gme without any dowry he does not care what my parents say,we always fight and i am not happy to live with a drunkard like this,believe me he drinks all weekend and some time on weekdays and you know if i ask him next day why he drunk he lies saying i was in aan illusion,he literally smells and he has got guts to lie that he did not drink,i cannot tolerate this anymore,He alos manhandled me a couple of times when he was drunk,I am broken i was trying hard to make this relationship workout thou i was not happy with this man from day one because he has a pale character with no emotions,Ok let me tell what is his daily activity get up,take bath,sit on his lounge chair,eat the breakfast,go to office,come back ,sit on lounge chair and play games on iphone,talk only if needed or tell me do the chores eat dinner and sleep,he never goes out makes friends,does nto teach his kid cycling not takes the kid out ,he does one thing good shouts and terrorizes me,i am tired of this and cannot take this abuse anymore and cannot put up with this habits,i talked to him in rage,told him with love asked himt ot stop drinking and go to counselling nothing works on him,I have decided to walk out but ia m not able to get the courage,Ad you know what my mom advices just suck it up if he does not change,she wants me to be like,WTF,i have helped my parents and brother allot financially and mom is always on his osn's side she does not want to understand nor support me on what i am goign through,I think i am still holding onto it for my son ,he is the world to me,I think i am losing and some days i feel like commiting suicide,I do nto have friends because of my husbands prodish attitude no body wants to stick around,he ihas got this nature of proudishness,I have no emotional support no sisters to talk to nor friends,I am so done,
Tell me what should i do move on,I have done all i can and i still have the fear if i will be able to survive alone with out him,i work and make bucks but he rules on that money,he makes the investments and runs the show,I dod not want my son to suffer becos of me walking out but i dont know what to do with such a person who does not care and always lies and you know what i think some days if i am really the culprit and he is perfect,he talks so cleverly and believe i am so naive i cannot even figure out how he does that,he mesmerizes every one on my side and his side,
Please ladies enlighten me what should i do,if i leave him the one thing i will loose is my american life,but my son will be in the middle,I want him to be happy
I can frankly say i have no intrest in staying with this person for that sake with any man any more in my life,some souls are always born with bad luck,I had allot of hopw when i was geting married that i will have happiness which i was not able to get when i was small but people who are born with bad luck always carry that around
Please help me and tip on how i should take this ahead,will i ever find love in my life a person whom i can have good life with
sorry for long post please enlighten me with your thoughts
I am tired and want to give up,i will have a nrevous breakdown,please advise
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