My parents are totally on my side & have a lot of respect towards DH for putting his best of efforts to balance me and his parents.
The initial weekday-weekend arrangement was an agreed upon decision b/w us and ILs. But my ILs never bothered to convey this to my parents! Even after the episode that made me move out completely also.
Even my parents dint feel that they should poke nose so dint call her all these days.
But since the beginning Mom always would give me a bottom line saying if MIL tries to mend the ties, i need to go with the flow. Or at least tow once in a while for frail and helpless FILs sake.
I keep my stand that until the last straw of solution, I shall not go to that home. Instead do all possible externally. My Dad isnt able to come in terms with this fact and thinks that its just a moment and things will get fine and that I shall speak to MIL and go back there once in a while!!!!!!
Is he not understanding the seriousness of the situation?
Mom was outraged on hearing the word to word i quoted on all that MIL said against she and dad and abused them, which was one of the reasons for me to take a stand on moving out on that eventful day.
Mom often recalls all the superiority MIL showed during our wedding and she gets more and more angry and vents that how she, an all round achiever that she is despite her share of life's hardships, bent down in front of illiterate MILs irrational demands. I can feel the pain and anger inside mom for what all MIL did!!
FIL had a worry that my parents may be cursing him for not having taken care of me and protected me against abusive MIL. And on the other hand parents felt that FIL may be cursing them that they haven't intervened and put some sense into my head! I made it clear to both that no one is cursing anyone. They can continue to communicate thru' msgs like always.
We were all the while alert that MIL may call my parents/granny and create tamasha. They were ready with their answers on how to snub her down.
Now that FIL took ill...i kept parents updated on his health and my visit to his doc etc.,
Last evening I get a call from a chuckling dad, that he had called my MIL.
I dont know why, I lost my temper. They were like DH did not pick the call, so they called MIL to inquire FILs condition. Just for formality.
I questioned as to what the hurry was! They could have instead called DH at a later time, instead of adding fuel to my MILs notion about "gals parents should bend always"....
Me and mom had a huge exchange of words :( Because I know what MIL will be thinking of them!!! Even DH was concerned that MIL may have said stuff.
I felt defeated against MIL.
Mom accused me of being an immature stubborn teenager who wants things her way and dosnt know to act with responsibility!!
Mom highlighted that it was just a 4 sentences kind of courtesy call which is "mandatory of the adult world!!!" and assured that if at all MIL tried saying anything against me or tried to pick a fight, mom dad knew exactly where to put her.
I know my mom knows the best and does the best. But I dunno why I am feeling lost!
I am just wondering.....amidst DILs survival fight Vs her MIL, what happens of the relationship between ILs and Parents?
Parents Role in MIL issues....new confusion has set in!
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