I work in a corporate company where most of the females dress up in a typical AP style, like, kurta-chudidhaar, kinda not so fancy stuff, simple footwear, simple hairstyle. My company has a casual outfits to the office rule, and when compared to 90% of the females there, I am a little more stylish than them. I wear the most fashionable trousers/jeans, good looking tops(no ill fitting or bosom fitting), scarves, stilettos/ankle length boots, a little fashionable ear rings, and I am naturally gifted with good hair so, I tend to flaunt my hair with various hair styles. Also, there is this eye and lip makeup that I never forget. But, I am not a hippie kind of a woman, who socializes in parties or regularly visits discos. I am just any other woman who likes to groom herself very well and try to be at least a little fashionable.
So, this whole dressing, gets me unwanted attraction in the entire office. The staff is ~200-300. I wouldn't say the entire office, but there are a few office members who lech at me. Someone, whom I don't know and even those who are in my team. And the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I am not making an assumption that people are leching at me, I can definitely make out the difference from admiring and leching looks. At least, I am that mature enough.
To quote a few incidents, I had gone to this in-house cafeteria and found only one group sitting around a table and chit chatting loudly. The moment I dragged a chair for myself at an adjacent table, there was pin drop silence. And that did make me uncomfortable. I have not made any presumptions about this incident, but I have seen the same group behaving normally when there are other people or other person. FYI, I know none in that team.
Whenever I walk, people stare and stare at my footwear or any other stuff to the extent that I get uncomfortable, be it a female or a male.
Everyone in the office knows that I am unmarried and these married female colleagues of mine, taunt me.. "we never get time to dress up.. we have kids to send to school and manage the household chores". Yes, just like that.
Whenever I sit for lunch, people start talking about this stuff, how come I get so much time, or money to spend on my foot/clothe wear which embarrasses me to hell. One of the worst one was, how do your parents allow you to dress like this...? Ours never allow us... and laugh at me.
And there are these few I-dont-know-who colleagues, who, when they pass by me, clear their throats. And it ranges from late twenty guys to middle aged men. No, I don't mean that I am comfortable with guys in their early twenties clearing their throats or admiring me. but I mean, though people are married with kids, this is what they tend to do in the office premises. Not to mention, their lecherous stares at my bosom. As a mater of fact, I have seen a few other colleagues who wear traditional Indian attire and their cleavage is almost visible when they walk or sit. And if it is a saree, the tummy/one booby show is just so clear.. and I haven't seen them getting embarrassed or the same guys staring at me do not stare at them, but everyone is quite comfortable with each other. Again, I am not pointing out any other person's character or behavior, what makes me wonder is navel/cleavage/tummy/saree-blouse one boob show seems to be okay to those guys but their behavior changes when they see me.
Not to mention, when a few bastards in my team, talk to me, they stare at my boobs or for that matter my entire arms when I wear my sleeveless tops. Yes, there were females doing that staring thing too.
I wouldn't say this has happened in the other offices. But here, these seem to be very prominent. Although there were glaring-me scenarios in other companies(both in Bangalore and Hyderabad)but never ever felt so awkward or embarrassed. And at those locations, most of the females dressed up just like I did and there were lechers but not that rampant.
And whenever I have a casual conversation with a new person, they tell me...one of them has literally told me in my face.. I thought you were some big big thing.. but you are just so normal. And that too with such a sarcasm that I was taken aback for that unexpected criticism. I am writing exactly the same words he uttered.
Out of all the incidents that I have narrated, I know most of them should be dispersed as unwanted things. But again, I have a few questions.
1) Should I really keep mum, when my female/male colleagues pester me with questions as I have mentioned, time,money factors and all that? Or, how do I evade/answer diplomatically?
2) What do I tell those male pigs when they stare at my arms/bosom so that they get uncomfortable and never ever make such a mistake. And please don't tell me approach HR... I want to resolve that issue at my end itself and gain confidence within me to encounter such bastards in the future too. And one of those bastards happen to be my lead too.
Male colleagues' Lecherous stares
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