Getting divorced in a confused state

Hi all,

I am married and in US for 10 yrs. I seperated from my husband 2 yrs ago as we had lot of arguments and he is a mental abuser and -ve thinking person. I have 8 old kid my husband always takes my son away from me whenever he mad at me and controls me in all possible ways. We both are working here... My H is very -ve minded he want to control money that I earned and he want me to be a slave for him like cooking, cleaning and obeying to all his decisions.

2 yrs ago one day we had a big argument and he forcefully asked me to leave the home the reason being I am not respecting his parents and his sister, who is divorced with 2 kids. I had to move out of the house with my kid with no choice as he was physical at that time.

His sister in India got kids and husband's property when she got divorce so my husband always have -ve thoughts that I would do the same. When I seperated he tried to take my son away from me and after some compromise he used to come 3 days a week to my place with my kid and used to take my son with him when he leave. He completely take control over my son. I had threatened him that if I don't see my son I will go for legal help but he didn't listen always used to keep my son away from me by physical harassment.

My parents and his parents discussed the situation and asked us to stay together and try for reconciling then I had to come to his place 1 yr ago for sake of my son. Then he mentioned that he will not treat me like a wife and will not support me emotionally and financially because I left home and got seperated from him and spoiled his reputation in his family. He used to keep my son away from me when I stayed there him saying that I do not care about my son as I left home. I did not understand he was the one who asked me to leave the house and took my son forcefully from me and blaming me for everything.

After a lot of mental torture I asked if you are taking all rights & control on my son then I have no choice other than seeking from a legal help as everyday mental torture and fight regarding kid at home. He used my son as a toy to control me. One day he suddenly went applied for a divorce 1 yr ago and I cried a lot that time as I used to say I will seek legal help so that he will change and not use my son for his controlling toy. I had no choice to leave the home and apply for counter petition for contested divorce. And applied for temporary child custody and temporary restraining order from my H for myself.

It has been over year nothing has been done all he want is my money and my son from me that's what he is fighting for even though he earns more money than me.

What I did I showed what I have in US and India during filing process and he did not show anything that he have and hide everything (money). Now we are sharing my son's custody 50:50 and expenses for him. Iam not retaining my lawyer any more as she is very expensive.

my pre trial dates are approaching pls friends suggest me should I hire an another lawyer to represent me. I am confused and nervous to go to court for trial. But H is not amicable to agree for out of court settlement. Please suggest friends......

Some of my friends and relatives suggest me to reconcile with him for the sake of kid. But I think he will never change and agree to come to counselling :(

sorry for for long post.....

thanks!

Getting divorced in a confused state