The signs are unmistakeable. Memories of the past flash before my eyes.
"Why don't you go and sleep? I can see from your eyes that you are very sleepy", mom admonishes me. I crawl into bed reluctantly. I want to know what gossip goes on after packing me off to bed. My sister is not sent off to sleep as early as me. She can partake in the late evening chatter session.
I am sure all of you have seen kids rubbing their eyes, acting hysterical and refusing to go to sleep.
A couple of decades later:
"Aa aa aa aa ....." I try to put my baby nephew to sleep. He starts crying. Damn. Why does he not go to sleep? The decibels of the "Aa aa aa aa ....." rise and soon go above the level of the baby's crying. He gives me a shocked look and decides it is safer to go to sleep ..... as soon as he can!
"Nanhi kali sone chali ....." I sing to my baby niece. She is satisfied as long as her thumb is in her mouth and there is a sheet in her hand (cheet cheet, she says as soon as she is able to say a few words) to cover that hand in the mouth. She screams herself hoarse and the moment the 'cheet cheet' is in her hand, she beams away and slowly falls asleep. There is a catch, however. The sheet has to be plain cotton and it has to be absolutely spandy white. No other sheet will do. No handkerchief, no cheques, no stripes, no trace of colour. This is my 3 month old baby niece! 
"Angai mangai" I sing to the French baby I am baby sitting. The fellow has a mischievous look in his eyes. I play up to him and introduce little sharp notes in the lines. He listens intently. Day after day he listens. Then one day I notice the little guy listening very expectantly for the sharp note and the moment it comes in, he sucks in a breath and beats his hands and legs in excitement and laughs! This has become a game for him. So much for inducing sleep! I don't deny, I too derive a lot of enjoyment watching his excitement!
The years roll along. The story just plays out again and again in front of my eyes like a scratched DVD. Mothers desperately trying to put their recalcitrant or cranky babies to sleep is something that is the norm. I have a question. "Mom, why do babies CRY if they are sleepy? Why don't they just shut their eyes and go to sleep?" I ask. My mom looks exasperated at me. The expression on her face says "You must ask such questions, the answers to which mankind has not yet discovered as yet".
The children are growing up. My parents are ageing. My mom loves her serials on telly. Dad feels obliged to sit up giving her company - self-inflicted - and nods off to sleep sitting. This becomes a daily habit. "Why don't you go to sleep? Why must you sit here and sleep sitting?" mom asks dad, but dad will insist on 'keeping her company'. (Just as an aside, why don't make husbands like that any more?) Well, dad is now on his way to his second childhood.
As for me, I am eternally ready to crawl under the blanket, cower away from life and let the world go by.
I am nicknamed 'Kumbhakarni' in honour of the character in the Ramayana. I hate being awake. "Look at people your age. They are so smart and active. Why are you so lazy?" Heck, do I always have to do what others do? Why can't I just be?
I remember a TV programme where an elderly lady claims that she has not slept a wink for some 10 years or so....I forget the exact figure. I wonder if that is humanly possible. How can anyone survive without sleep? I can't even stay awake in the afternoons, despite threats that an afternoon siesta ensures weight gain. (BTW, the latest theories state that good sleep is essential for healing of tissues as well as for weight control. Which version should I believe, I ask you! 
)
Another couple of decades pass by.
"What are you doing up at this hour? Shouldn't you be asleep?" admonish my friends from the other end of the world, seeing me online at all odd hours. Initially it is a post operative pain in a shoulder, then it is the back. Slowly I get hooked to the net to keep me going through those sleepless hours. The months pass by. The pain eases out in a relative manner of speaking, but now I can't go to sleep. Oh no! There is so much to be done online - my life depends on it. I avoid sleeping in the afternoon. If I sleep in the afternoon, I can't sleep in the night. When sleep comes crawling in to take hold of me, I can't afford to sleep. Won't I miss chatting with friends whose life runs 10 hours behind my time? How can I not play my online game and allow someone to overtake me?
The question comes back to mind "Why do kids refuse to sleep?" I am reminded of that, like the past two afternoons, when I fall asleep sitting, but then shake myself awake and ask my Woman Friday to get me an SOS coffee to wake me up. Why? I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, no jobs waiting for me. The answer is simple, Oh, there is so much to be done and I can't let life pass me by.
The signs are unmistakeable. I am growing younger and younger again! That is called 'life in reverse gear'.
The Signs
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